It’s another week and another round of answers.
Most of the questions you left last time were answered by others, including:
- walruskkkch
- Happy Fun Ball
- tankdemon
- FormerHostage
- Veeshir
- CLIFFY
- Oppo
- DamnCat
- HokieGomer
Bacon to you all!
These are the questions that weren’t answered.
Bob B: Is there really anything left to ask?
There are definitely more questions. And, there are always more answers. Perhaps it would be best if I gave you some examples. So, here’s what we’re gonna do.
We’re gonna turn the tables real quick, and I’ll ask some questions. And, you — any of you really — give your answers. In order to keep things straight, use the hashtags I offer with each, or quote my question in your response. That way, everyone knows what question you’re answering.
- Why Doesn’t McDonald’s Sell Hotdogs? #McWeiner
- At A Movie Theater Which Arm Rest Is Yours? #Movies
- What Is Satan’s Last Name? #Satan
- Why Is The Lone Ranger Called “Lone” If He Always Has His Indian Friend Tonto With Him? #LoneRanger
- Is There A Time Limit On Fortune Cookie Predictions? #FortuneCookies
- Why Does The Easter Bunny Carry Eggs? #EasterBunny
- Why Is The Heart Symbol Not Shaped Like The Organ? #Heart
See? There are all kinds of questions you can ask. You don’t have to try to think of a question that’s really a joke masquerading as a question. You can, if you want, but you don’t have to. Any question at all will do. That’s what the “anything” part of “Ask IMAO Anything” means: anything.
Huh. I don’t see any more questions that weren’t answered. One question. One whole question that wasn’t answered. And, even then, there were responses, but not really answers. Not directly. I mean, some took it and ran with it, but I answered it here anyway. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have any to answer. And I wanna answer questions. After all, I have all this knowledge inside of me just wanting to get out.
Wait. Maybe that’s gas.
Yep, definitely gas. I’m glad this is a blog and not … Tell you what. Let’s just not speak of this again.
So, I’ll conclude with a reminder that you can Ask IMAO Anything. Just leave your question in the comments. Or, email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.
Questions in the comments will likely be answered in the comments, if the last few weeks have shown us anything. Those that aren’t answered, or that may need further clarification, I’ll answer next time. And, I’ll answer the questions that are emailed to us.
Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything. And more.
#Movies – All of them. In every row.
Q: What Is Satan’s Last Name?
A: McSatanface
Yes, that’s funny, DC, but the real answer is “Soros”.
I thought it was the same as Madonna’s or Cher’s.
Q: Why Is The Lone Ranger Called “Lone” If He Always Has His Indian Friend Tonto With Him?
A: He was the lone survivor of a group of Texas Rangers who were ambushed.
Beat me to it: “Six Texas Rangers rode into a canyon….”
Ya, injuns can’t be Rangers QED.
Because the census didn’t count Indians in the 1800’s, so as far as the US government was concerned, he was alone.
How many lives has “gun free zone” signage saved?
Hard to say but probably scores – maybe hundreds. Unfortunately the people the signs saved were all bad guys who killed even more people.
As many Elephants as my Anti-Elephant whistle scared away.
or as many elephants as chicken-wire fences have saved.
Is there a slur specifically designed to insult Norwegians?
Uffda
Belgians.
Fjordiots.
#McWeiner – They ran out of gloop making the McNuggets
The first McDonald’s actually DID sell hot dogs.
Fud couldn’t produce enough hot dogs for them.
#Movies – Whichever ones my arms are resting on.
#EasterBunny – Because the Easter Chicken can’t carry them.
I think its Platypus discrimination.
#McWeiner
Uhhhhh…they did, a long time ago. NOW GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
#Heart
Kinda the same reason the poop emoji is not an actual facsimile of what comes out of most peoples butts
Matter fighting antimatter. Who wins?
What difference, at this point does it make?
Doesn’t matter.
Whichever one more generously bribes the ref.
#Satan
Pelosi
My question is from Harvey’s one shot.
Madonna: “DEATH TO THE PATRIARCHY woven deep into the fabric of Society. I will never stop fighting to eradicate it.” Does she want to eradicate the Patriarchy? Or she wants to get the ugly phrase “Death to the Patriarchy” removed from her fabric? I don’t think she is being clear.
If you create so many holes in the social fabric won’t it just fall apart?
What setting do you use to iron social fabric?
And when washing social fabric, do you recommend Woolite?
I strongly recommend Level 42 and mini-Tide-Pods.
I certainly wouldn’t recommend a bleach for whitening.
I use the boiling frog setting on the extra spin cycle.
And I use the industrial strength Manchurian blend. Gets those brains nice and squeaky clean.
The social fabric is damaged by pulling threads like this.
The social fabric,
I am sure,
Is enough
To clothe the poor,
And to adorn
The impious
As long as they cut it
With the bias.
~~~~~
I would recommend Calgon, but, then again, I may or may not be a Chinese agent…
The correct iron setting is “Crisp Pleats Matter”…
It’s like Madonna is blaming men for this. Last time I looked weaving was primarily women’s work.
I blame Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos.
If a car is traveling north at 65 miles per hour, and a second car is traveling south at 55 miles per hour, how long will it take for Congress to get off their butts and impeach already?
wainscotting.
I know, right?
What Is Satan’s Last Name? #Satan
Satan is his surname. His given name is Rufus.
Santa N. Satan.
#FortuneCookies
Serenity is fueled by patience.
The man who minds his dreams will do more than the man who minds the clock.
Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking. (William Butler Yeats)
Worry not about when it will happen, strive to make it happen.
Nobody knows the appointed hour.
(note: any “lucky numbers” included in a fortune expire 15 minutes before the cookie is opened. )
There are “Fortunes” in those things? I just eat ’em whole.
High in fiber.
#Heart
Those early vivisectionists’ skills needed a bit more honing.
In the Perry Mason episode ‘The Case of the Resolute Reformer,’ which first aired on Jan. 14, 1961, private detective Paul Drake is seen talking to Mason on a car phone.
What were car phones using for mobile service in 1961? Was it available on demand, around the clock?