San Francisco recently passed Proposition H, which bans the ownership of guns in homes and businesses.

I for one am comforted by the fact that San Francisco has taken this safety measure. Now when some big dude meets you along a dark street, you’ll know that it’s not a gun in his pocket. The downside of course is that he’s really happy to see you.

This has gotten me to thinking about Proposition H. Sure, it’s currently being challenged by the National Rifle Association (Motto: Don’t make us shoot you), but it doesn’t mean that some GOOD things can’t come from all of this.

I’d like to offer some…

Observations on Proposition H.

Health Insurance costs may not go down, but at least working conditions will be much better — for criminals.

It is finally easier to identify the criminals. They’re the ones with the guns. The victims are the ones lying in the pool of blood.

More good news. Most shootings will now be intentional.

Proposition H pitted two big players. The “No” side was supported heavily by the NRA. The “Yes” side was heavily supported by the Trauma Centers.

Guns are banned to all private citizens, except police officers. Citizens are still allowed to carry Super Soakers.

Note: All Super Soakers must sport a bright orange tip.

Given a choice between disarming a criminal and disarming legal gun owners — it’s better to screw the gun owners. They tend to vote republican.

Proposition H scored very well with people who had both bad eyesight and hemmoroids.

Reading the fine print we see that Prop H also changes the city motto to: Make Love Not War.

This is better than the old motto: Participate in cheap sex, not violence.

Now that there are no handguns for citizens, SF residents will have to fend off attackers with rape whistles, pepper spray, and sexually transmitted diseases.

Question: When the Village People tour San Francisco — do they have to disarm the Policeman?

Now, the city is working on a new education program for the criminal element. If only they KNEW it was illegal, then they would stop using guns.

Thug 1. Hey, I just learned today that carrying this weapon is illegal.

Thug 2. No way. Let’s throw these away and go play video games. My cousin has Grand Theft Auto.

Thug 1. Hey, doesn’t that encourage violence?

Thug 2. Only towards women.

The phrase Saturday Night Special now applies only prostitutes.

Gun owners will now be moving out. Which is good- those people are dangerous.

Gun exchange programs should prove to be pretty popular. In the past, cities have offered gift cards, video games, and even cash. The next few months should prove to be very interesting.

When the U.S. Navy visits, they’ll be given a chance to exchange their guns for similar items. Choices include, video games, gift cards, and Saturday Night Specials.