Archive of entries posted on 26th February 2020

Wednesday Night Open Thread

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Some artists only have one really big hit. Len Barry’s 1-2-3 was kept from the top spot in 1965 by The Supremes. The thing is, Len Barry, who co-wrote 1-2-3 was sued by Motown Records, claiming 1-2-3 was a rip-off of a Supremes song, Ask Any Girl. There is a similarity.

[The YouTube]

What’s been on your mind? Got something you’d like to share? A topic to discuss? It’s Wednesday Night Open Thread.

Who wants to start?

IMAO Time Machine: Fun Facts About the 50 States: Kentucky

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This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to put the K in KFC, because we’re headed out to Kentucky, so let’s get started…

Kentucky state flag
In the last vote on the matter, this design narrowly beat out an image of two pickups and a still.
  • Kentucky became the 15th state on June 1, 1792, despite the fact that no one in the state can actually count that high.
  • The state sport of Kentucky is horse racing, mostly because you can’t lose your license for “riding under the influence.”
  • In Kentucky, spitting tobacco juice on someone is considered a friendly greeting, much like the “up yours!” of a New York cabbie.
  • Kentucky is one of America’s leading coal-mining states. Coal miners are easily recognizable by their almost Frenchman-like layer of black filth.
  • While attending church services in Kentucky, remember that – traditionally – the collection plate is passed BEFORE the spittoon.
  • They get REALLY upset when you get that wrong.
  • The state reality TV show of Kentucky is the Jerry Springer show, or – as it’s known locally – “Southern Survivor.”
  • When visiting a Civil War battlefield in Kentucky, try not to laugh out loud if the guide mentions how “we purt’ near won that battle.”
  • The state flower of Kentucky is Goldenrod, which should not be confused with that crappy James Bond movie starring Pierce Brosnan.
  • The state motto of Kentucky is “United we stand, divided we fall, drunk we pass out.”
  • This replaced the old motto of “4 million people, 15 last names.”
  • There are no newspapers in Kentucky, as being literate is considered snooty.
  • Although Kentucky is bordered by seven different states, Kentuckians rarely shop across state lines, since most stores in other states have firm “no shoes, no teeth, no service” policies.
  • Kentucky’s nickname is the Bluegrass state.
  • Yeah, we all know grass is GREEN, but if you try to tell THEM that, they’ll think you’re just being snooty.
  • Kentucky is the only state in the US where drivers routinely hit their brakes before running over banjo players.
  • The electric lightbulb was first demonstrated at the Southern Exposition in Louisville, Kentucky in 1883, but was dismissed by locals as just another passing fad, like horseless carriages and soap.
  • Kentucky’s name comes from the Iroquois Indian word “Ken-tah-ten,” which means, “wife… sister… what’s the difference?”
  • The state song of Kentucky is the “Hee-Haw” theme.
  • Kentucky has a population of 4 million people, all of whom are nicknamed Bubba.
  • Except for the women, of course, who are nicknamed Bubba Mae.
  • Or Auntie Mom.
  • The state tree of Kentucky is whichever one the Governor drives into while drunk. This week it’s the tulip poplar.
  • The Kentucky Derby is the oldest continuously-run horse race in America, and was the inspiration for such other races as the Kentucky Stetson and the Kentucky Yarmulke.
  • Heather French became the first Miss America from Kentucky in 1999. She beat out Miss Alabama by correctly answering the question, “What is a toothbrush used for?”
  • Colonel Harlan Sanders opened his first fried chicken restaurant in Corbin, Kentucky in 1952. It was hugely successful, unlike his earlier chain of Kentucky Fried Possum.
  • Both Abraham Lincoln and Confederate President Jefferson Davis were born in Kentucky. They attended the same school as John Wilkes Booth, who routinely beat them both up and stole their lunch money.
  • The song “Happy Birthday To You” was written by two sisters from Louisville, Kentucky in 1893, and was originally titled, “I’m Too Cheap to Buy You a Present.”

Well, that wraps up the Kentucky edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week I’ll be slogging through the bayous of Louisiana.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go grab me a bucket of KFP.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

There Once Was a Time When This Was Called “Lying”

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Biden Campaign Walks Back Claims of South Africa “Arrest”:
“He Was Separated From His Party At The Airport”
mediaite.com / 2/26/20

Need an Editor for the Last Line

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World’s First In Vitro Cheetah Cubs Born at Columbus Zoo
phys.org / February 25, 2020

The first cheetah cubs ever conceived through in vitro fertilization have been born at the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium, marking a breakthrough for zoo breeding programs.
. . .

Adrienne Crosier, a cheetah biologist, and Dr. Pierre Comizzoli, a research biologist, both from the biology institute, performed the procedure, along with the Columbus Zoo’s veterinary team.
. . .

“Working with the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium was a game-changer because their females are highly cooperative,” Crosier said.

Submitted For Your Approval: Choice

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Submitted by Slapout:

Straight Line of the Day: Dick van Dyke Has Endorsed “Younger” Bernie Sanders for President. Which Means…

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Straight Line of the Day: Dick van Dyke has endorsed “younger” Bernie Sanders for president. Which means…

Caption this! Touch the Monkey!

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By now you may know the deal. (I don’t know if you were left behind or not in school. But I won’t judge)

Here is this week’s Caption contest picture. Have at it. My the best Hominid win.

Random Thoughts: Russia and Cuba

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It’s pretty meaningful the Barack Obama endorsed Mike Bloomberg as Bloomberg only paid $3 million for it when Obama obviously could have held out for a lot more. That means Obama really believes in him.

I was going to photoshop Bloomberg as a Borg from Star Trek and call him “Bloomborg,” but Bloomberg just sent me $300 to not do that.

KYLO: “I can’t believe it!”
PALPATINE: “Yes! It’s me! I’ve been alive this whole time!”
KYLO: “So what have you been doing the past 30 years?”
PALPATINE: “Strengthening the Dark Side by spreading hatred throughout the galaxy.”
KYLO: “So, Twitter.”
PALPATINE: “Yes, Twitter!”

Considering how little I use my middle name, it makes sense for me to sell it as ad space.
Frank [your brand name here] Fleming
Who wants to talk price?

Bernie Sanders would be the U.S.’s Corbyn who was the U.K.’s McGovern.

I don’t even know what McGovern’s politics are, but he must have been some stupid hippie or something to lose 49 states to Nixon.
“Everything should be free, man, and have flower prints on it.”
“Shut up, hippie! We’re voting for the off-putting, sweaty guy!”

Is Bernie Sanders a hypocrite because he’s a millionaire with three houses?
Yes. Absolutely.
But does that make you dumb to support him and his unworkable plans that luckily would never in a million years get past Congress?
Yes. It’s makes you very very dumb.

To me, the best thing about Bernie is that he seems more stupid than dishonest, which I definitely put as a plus for a politician. That would probably change, though, if he ever got more power than a mediocre Senator no one pays attention to.

I love how Bernie Sanders supporters argue:
“This economy is terrible! The average man can barely get by!”
and
“Basically everyone has three houses. It’s not a big deal.”

Bernie Sanders is a Communist! If he’s elected president, I’ll be like, “The President is a Communist!” and I’ll probably write a few satire articles where he quotes Ivan Drago. Do you want that?

If Bernie Sanders medical records show he’s in bad health, that could be a plus for him.
“I can’t vote for Bernie! He’s a Communist!”
“Yeah, but he most likely won’t live long.”
“Oh. That’s not so bad, then.”

Bloomberg, one of the wealthiest people in the world, is worth $64 billion. That wouldn’t even get you through a week of government spending.
Tax the government.

Wouldn’t a good way for Russia to interfere in the election is make it known they’re interfering in the election?

I’m fine with you supporting whatever politician you want as long as you don’t pretend the person isn’t a dishonest phony. It’s when we pretend that that we get in trouble.

I’m sorry, but maybe — maybe — you can argue nothing weird is going on if the socialist had only two houses, but it feels like gaslighting to act like three houses is normal. How many people do you know who has three houses?

“It’s actually pretty average for a socialist grifter to have three houses by that age.”
Who do you people hang out with? I know one guy with three houses, and he’s like really rich.

Sorry, I’m just tired of millionaires with three houses whining about billionaires when my family of six has to make do in but one single house.

So is it now the conclusion of Democrats that Obamacare was a complete failure that solved nothing?

I had to stop being humble as I got so good at it it was giving me an inflated ego.

If I had three houses, I wouldn’t constantly whine about billionaires because I’d be too busy worrying I left the oven on in one of them.

One of the reasons the Dems can’t stop Bernie is they’re too afraid to articulate why he’s a horrible candidate other than “he can’t win.”
It would basically be like taking a good portion of their base aside and trying to convince them Santa Claus isn’t real.

Putin got Trump elected with $15 in Facebook ads and now he’s trying to do the same thing with Bernie. Bernie must be defeated in the primary and then kicked out of the Senate; it’s the only way to defeat Putin.

Really, what else does Bernie Sanders have to do other than run for President? He’s old and lonely since most of his friends are dead… killed by the US military during the Cold War.

If you think conserving conservatism involves voting for a Communist, you’ve probably lost the plot.

If you people care about getting people health care as much as you claim, you don’t have to wait for the government to get involved. You can raise the $59 trillion yourself.

A big advantage Medicare for All has over the Republican proposal is that it exists.

So are we now going to get NeverBernies who say they left the Democrats to preserve liberalism but now sound like Charlie Kirk?

Bernie supporters want to give everyone health care in the same way a toddler with a hammer wants to fix an iPad.

You can’t say “Never Trump.” What if he was running against Adolf Hitler? Are you saying you’d support Hitler over Trump?
And what if he running against a Communist?

Started watching MasterChef, and man is there a big difference with MasterChef Junior.
MasterChef: “You should go in the garbage with your food because you’re garbage!”
MasterChef Junior: “Before I go get treated for salmonella, I just have to say great effort.”

People are mad at the Miracle on Ice team for appearing at a Trump rally, but were they supposed to support Bernie Sanders? He was probably rooting against them in 1980.

I think Trump is going a great job, but the Democrats have a lot of great choices for president too. However things work out, I’m super excited for 2021!

Bloomberg and Bernie just need to admit they’re both great candidates and people should be excited for either one.

Bernie Sanders says he things everyone should get health care, but he also doesn’t care that much if people are arbitrarily imprisoned and murdered, so I’m a little suspicious of him.

guy gets charged $1000 for insulin
“This is outrageous! This can’t go on!”
guy gets shot in the head for speaking out in Cuba
“Eh. It happens.”

Seems a little crazy to act like billionaires are a problem when you’re pitching spending plans that make their entire fortunes look like a tiny drop in the bucket.

The main gun loophole is the “criminals don’t obey laws” loophole.

Last time the Dems nuked the filibuster, we ended up with Gorsuch and Kavanaugh. I don’t know what they expect to happen if they do it again.

Promoted Comment (Sort Of): Alien Litter

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Yesterday morning, in my post on UFOs and possible aliens driving them, commenter Sandra summed it up:

Don’t know and don’t care as long as they don’t litter

Which got me to thinking: Suppose the aliens are here and are dropping their litter all over the planet. How would we recognize it?

What have you seen around the planet that can be explained by alien litter and trash? “The Communist Manifesto” comes to mind, but I’m sure there are more. What say you?