Team Allegedly Sets New “Cannonball Run” Record on Empty Highways During Coronavirus Lockdowns
Fox News | 10 April 2020 | Gary GasteluA team of scofflaws has apparently taken advantage of the dramatic reduction in traffic across America due to the coronavirus pandemic to set a new coast-to-coast driving record. According to Ed Bolian, who set a record in 2013 when highway congestion was normal, the Audi A8 completed the “Cannonball Run” from New York to L.A. in 26 hours and 38 minutes, beating the 27 hours 25 minutes mark set last November by Arne Toman and Doug Tabutt.
Traffic analytics company Inrix has reported that congestion is down nearly 50 percent on average in the U.S. due to stay-at-home policies. Bolian did not reveal the identity of the drivers, but said in a YouTube video that he monitored a live track of the April 4-6 trip online and has seen timing data confirming the time.
“Do I think this is the best use of time while the country is staying in during a pandemic?” Bolian said in an interview with Road & Track: “Probably not, but for me to say it’s awful is like a cocaine dealer saying a heroin dealer is awful.”
The people involved in the coast-to-coast stunt have not publicly come forward, but a photo of the car that was briefly posted to Facebook by another acquaintance shows that the Audi was fitted with two marine fuel tanks in its trunk to extend its range between fill-ups and tape to obscure its signature taillight design.
The exact route taken by the Audi from New York City’s Red Ball Garage to the Portofino Inn in Redondo Beach has not been revealed, and it is not known if any law enforcement agencies are aware of or investigating the incident. The average speed over the shortest route possible between the two points would be approximately 103 mph.
‘Merica!
I was going to add that in the title!
Tell us what we can’t do, and we’ll take that as a challenge to, OK, show you what we can do.
“Now, what them Duke boys didn’t know was . . . “
“can you believe this all started with Aunt Arlene’s chicken coop?”
{Freeze frame of car over broken bridge}
“…and for some reason, nearly everyone we’ve questioned insists they were at home, self-quarantining, and we can’t check a single one of their alibis.”
Don’t worry, the government will be going door-to-door across the nation examining mileage and social distancing protocols, and whether you have bought non-essential items. And if you have a cough. To find those boys.
Remember, they can track you through your phone.
Sadly, Burt Reynolds unavailable for comment.
We still have Jamie Farr and Jackie Chan available for comment.
And Captain Chaos.
“. . . For me to say it’s awful is like a cocaine dealer saying a heroin dealer is awful.”
Wait; isn’t that from the Bible?
Bet it was Gov. Cuomo delivering extra respirators he didn’t need to Gov. Newsom — who didn’t need them.
Hell, with parking, check-in, TSA screening, flight delays, re-routing, boarding, unboarding, and the cartoon characters in front of you in all phases, that’s faster than air travel. Even before this mess.