Saturday Night Hootenanny

Saturday night is all right…

for a Hootenanny!

No one bothered to guess, publicly at least as far as I can find, that last week’s Hootenanny theme was songs that were based on a piece of classical music.

Nothing this week unless something changes between this sentence and when I start loading videos.

Let us begin.

If you have a suggestion for a Hootenanny theme let the Emu know.

IMAO Time Machine: Fun Facts About the 50 States: Nebraska

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to take a corn-tastic trip to Nebraska, so let’s get started…


Nebraska state flag
Nebraska’s state flag celebrates the state’s first law: “no blacksmithing within a mile of a residential structure.”
  • Nebraska became the 37th state on March 1st, 1867. It would’ve become a state during the Civil War, but it was fat and wore glasses, so neither side wanted it on their team.
  • The state flower of Nebraska is goldenrod, which should not be confused with any similarly-sounding James Bond or Austin Powers movies.
  • The powdered soft drink Kool-Aid was invented in Hastings, Nebraska, and was originally sold by traveling salesmen who would kick down people’s doors and shout, “OH YEAH!!!”
  • The tradition of planting trees on Arbor Day started in Nebraska City, Nebraska as a cheap way of marking the numerous graves of Kool-Aid salesmen.
  • The state motto of Nebraska is “Corn, college football, and… um… more corn.”
  • 40% of the munitions used in WWII had to be manufactured at the Naval Ammunition Depot in Hastings, Nebraska, since the rest of the state was rooting for Hitler.
  • The world’s largest indoor rainforest is the Lied Jungle in Omaha, Nebraska, but it’s currently closed to tourists because Daryl Hannah keeps climbing the trees and flinging poo at people.
  • Nebraska’s Ogala aquifer is the world’s largest underground water supply. It’s estimated to contain about 800 million gallons of water – about the same as Natalie Maines.
  • Nebraska is the only state in the U.S. with a unicameral (one house) legislature, which is currently evenly divided between the Feed Corn and Sweet Corn Parties.
  • Nebraska was the first state to complete its segment of the nation’s Interstate Highway system, due to its citizens near-insatiable hunger for something to do besides watch the corn grow, i.e. watching concrete solidify.
  • Nebraska’s phenomenal corn production is due to a combination of modern irrigation techniques and good old-fashioned human sacrifice.
  • The 9-1-1 emergency phone system was first developed in Lincoln, Nebraska as a replacement for their old emergency communications system of having hobbits light signal fires to call the Riders of Rohan.
  • Nebraska’s famous landmark “Chimney Rock” was recently sold to the Pfizer corporation and is now known as “Viagra Point.”
  • Omaha, Nebraska is home to the world’s largest coffee pot. While there, remember to tip the world’s largest waitress.
  • Kearny, Nebraska is located exactly halfway between Boston and San Francisco. This does NOT make it homophobic. Don’t be so sensitive.
  • Marlon Brando’s mother gave Henry Fonda acting lessons at the Omaha Community Playhouse. Unfortunately, she neglected to give him lessons on raising kids not to be commie-loving traitors.
  • The world’s largest Woolly Mammoth specimen was found in Lincoln County, Nebraska. If its skin were stretched to its full size, it would cover enough area to make a thong for Michael Moore.
  • The Mutual of Omaha Insurance Company’s corporate office has 7 full floors of underground offices, in one of which the Architect awaits Neo.
  • The Nebraska Cornhuskers college football team made a NCAA record 35 consecutive bowl appearances. 36, if you count the “Still Looking For A Corporate Sponsor – [Your Name Here] Bowl.”
  • The world’s first college course about Rush Limbaugh is taught at Nebraska’s Bellvue University. Topics include “Barking Moonbats – When To Hang Up” and “Things Not To Take On A Plane.”
  • Nebraska gets its name from the Oto Indian word “nee-ba-sah”, meaning “Are you SURE we’re not still in Iowa?”
  • The world’s largest porch swing is located in Hebron, Nebraska. It can seat 25 adults, or Michael Moore in a Woolly Mammoth thong.
  • The Fur Trading Museum is located near Blair, Nebraska. Just take Highway 75 north from Omaha, then follow the wet pelt smell.
  • The University of Nebraska – Lincoln campus boasts America’s largest weight room. It covers 3/4 of an acre and is currently celebrating its second full day of being steroid-free.
  • Oops… Nevermind…
  • Nebraska’s 1986 Governor’s race was the first in the nation to feature two women running against each other. Sadly, the final vote tally was not close enough to trigger the Jello-wrestling tie-breaker.
  • Buffalo Bill held his first rodeo in North Platte, Nebraska, which – contrary to popular rumor – was NOT catered by Hannibal Lecter.
  • Father Edward Flanagan founded Boys Town in Omaha, Nebraska, in 1917. To this day, it remains one of the few places in America not infected with girl-cooties.
  • Dancer Fred Astaire was born in Omaha, Nebraska, although he had to leave the city after Ginger Rogers gave him cooties.
  • Gerald Ford was born in Omaha, Nebraska, and was the only US President to hold the office without having been elected to it – blatherings by Gore and Kerry to the contrary notwithstanding.

That wraps up the Nebraska edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week it’s all about the drinkin’, gamblin’, and whorin’, because we’re off to Nevada.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go watch some concrete solidify… WOO-HOO!!!


[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

Who’s Got the Watch Tonight?

This was sent in by a reader with the initials L.A., but since it would reveal his name, I didn’t know if he wanted his username published. Many thanks, L.A.!

The Science of How To Successfully Approach a Woman in a Bar

A Navy Seal walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his new Apple watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No,” he replies,

“Just got this state-of-the-art Apple watch, and I was testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

He says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.” The woman giggles and replies,

“Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

The Navy man smirks, taps his watch and says, “Darn thing’s an hour fast.”

Oppo Rosins Up His Bow and Reads the Latest News in Preparation for Tonight’s Hootenanny

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Needing “A Little Break,” BLM Vacations in North Dakota, Texas, and Other Midwest Hotspots — Even Mexico!

BLMber gets back to nature in Cancun:

I Already Disliked These Guys

California Gave $35 Million ‘Voter Outreach’ Contract to ‘Team Biden’ Firm

The Washington Free Beacon | August 28, 2020 | Collin Anderson

A consulting firm run by a top Biden campaign official is receiving $35 million from California for a voter outreach program linked to the state’s coronavirus response.

The state awarded Democratic public relations giant SKDKnickerbocker the lucrative deal as part of the state’s “Vote Safe California” program on Aug. 13. The program aims to “educate the public on the safety, security, and ease of voting in the November General Election amid the COVID-19 pandemic” and was launched following Democratic governor Gavin Newsom’s May decision to send every registered voter in the state a mail-in ballot. The $35 million comes in addition to the $2.1 million SKDK has collected from the Biden campaign since June 2019.

According to documents obtained by the Sacramento Bee, the contract asks SKDK to give “special attention” to “reaching first-time mail voters,” as well as those with language barriers. The state’s contract approval process was expedited for the November election.

SKDK has close ties to former president Barack Obama and Democratic nominee Joe Biden. The firm’s managing director, Anita Dunn, previously served as Obama’s White House communications director and is now leading Biden’s presidential campaign. SKDK’s political consulting webpage says it is “proud to be a part of Team Biden” and touts previous campaign work with former president Bill Clinton, former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg, and disgraced former congresswoman Katie Hill (D., Calif.), among other Democrats.

In addition, SKDK has advocated for police reform and expressed support for the Black Lives Matter movement. The firm on Thursday accused President Donald Trump of “telling white Americans they should be afraid of Black and brown Americans,” adding that recent police shootings are “a direct result of 400 years of systemic racism in America and the last four years of Donald Trump’s failed leadership in the White House.” SKDK is also working as a “pro-bono PR firm” for Friday’s March on Washington led by Rev. Al Sharpton. The firm described the protest as “counter-programming to the angry and hate-filled RNC Convention” in a Thursday statement.

The Public Interest Legal Foundation, an election integrity watchdog group, argued that California’s local election authorities, not SKDK, should be spearheading the outreach campaign.

“Voter education and outreach are core jobs of local governments in the lead-up to an election,” spokesman Logan Churchwell told the Washington Free Beacon. “This is an admission on the part of California to not have the bandwidth to perform these sovereign duties.”

The California secretary of state’s office addressed concerns over SKDK’s partisan ties by telling the Sacramento Bee that those working on the contract “both on the firm side and the government side” are “nonpartisan and do not have ties to specific politicians.” Chief communications officer Paula Valle did not respond to a Free Beacon inquiry asking who is leading the campaign, nor did SKDK.

I’m Really, Really Beginning To Really Dislike This Guy. Really.

How Dr. Fauci found himself talking to Julia Roberts, Lil Wayne and just about any podcaster who asked

moneycontrol.com| New York Times |Aug 29, 2020

On March 15, as the novel coronavirus was beginning to surge in the United States, Dr. Anthony S. Fauci accomplished a rare Washington feat: He appeared on all five major Sunday talk shows.

But the White House worried that Fauci might upstage (and sometimes contradict) President Donald Trump, and soon his media handlers were no longer approving his high-profile interview requests.o Fauci found another way to get his message out: He said yes to pretty much every small offer that came his way: academic webinars, Instagram feeds and niche science podcasts as well as a few celebrity interviews.

That’s how Fauci, the country’s leading infectious disease scientist, found himself talking to the American Urological Association in June; the Economic Club of Chicago in July; and the “Brazda Breakfast” briefing this month.

And it may be how he ended up with a polyp on his vocal cord. “Essentially I was talking all day without interruption for six months,” he wrote in an email message Friday, the day after he had surgery to remove it.

The coronavirus pandemic has turned Fauci, a career government scientist first propelled into public view in the early years of the AIDS epidemic, into a genuine celebrity. There is now all manner of Fauci swag — Fauci socks, T-shirts, coffee mugs, buttons, stickers and masks. When the National Bobblehead Hall of Fame made a doll in his likeness, it “quickly became our best-selling bobblehead of all time,” said Phil Sklar, the group’s chief executive officer.

“He would prefer to go on Andrea Mitchell and Sanjay Gupta, but he has marveled that this lower-level stuff kind of ends up the same way,” Staley said. “He does the little Zoom with Harvard, and it’s on CNN that night.”

In July, Fauci appeared on a weekly video news conference that Sen. Doug Jones, D-Ala., hosts for local media on his Facebook page. Fauci made news when he directly contradicted Trump by saying it was a “false narrative to take comfort in a lower rate of death,” comments that rippled across the national media that day.

Fauci has rarely appeared on CNN’s prime-time broadcasts, but he did grant an hourlong interview to “The Axe Files,” a CNN-backed podcast hosted by David Axelrod, who was a top adviser to President Barack Obama. “Tony is the personification of the nagging reality that science presents,” Axelrod said. “What he understands is that it really doesn’t matter where you say what you say. We’re in a digital age, and you will be heard. And he’s right. I mean, you know, when Tony Fauci speaks, people find him.”

Journalists with major news broadcasts are frustrated they can’t book Fauci during a public health emergency. Margaret Brennan, host of CBS’ “Face the Nation,” told her audience in July that the White House had not approved any interviews with Fauci since March, inhibiting public understanding of the pandemic. “We will continue our efforts,” she said. Mary Hager, executive producer of the show, said they asked for Fauci and other government scientists every week.

“We have this genius and this gold mine of a guest,” she said. “And we can’t use him to his absolute maximum capacity at a time when people are dying.”

But his inclination to say yes — and his friendships with prominent journalists — has sometimes gotten him in trouble, as it did when his friend Norah O’Donnell interviewed him for InStyle magazine. Fauci was photographed by his backyard pool wearing sunglasses — an image that did not sit well with Republicans and one he now says he regrets.

“Not really me, and anyone who knows me understands that this is not my style,” he wrote. “I can understand the criticism, and like I said, I wish I could take it back. My bad.”

Can a Church Troll a Topless Bar? Yes, Yes It Can.

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Study Time

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Hootenanny? I Thought They Said They’d Unveil a Putin Nanny Later

I guess I misheard.

Typical Democrat Pictured Just Before Entering Precinct To Vote in Person

Two Words That Will Live in Infamy

Florida Woman Arrested for Alleged Attack on Dad for Relentless Flatulence


New York Post | 8/25/20 | Yaron Steinbuch

Rumor Is That She’s Already Declared Herself Harris’ VP

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Sled Dog Wolves

Wolves in Democrat Clothing

Townhall.com | August 29, 2020 | Susan Stamper Brown

Welcome, folks, to the new and improved Democratic Party. The party that dwells in the past–yet calls itself “Progressive.” The party that watches flag-burners, arsonists, murderers, rapists, rioters, looters and anarchists commit violent acts–and calls it “mostly peaceful.” And the party that burns down their own failed cities—and calls it “Trump’s America.”

That makes one want to be a Democrat said no normal person ever. Even still, Democrats continue with their party’s death march toward the abyss.

Democrat leaders have blood on their hands. All of them. Those who could stop the violence took a knee instead — as if doing so would result in anything short of Third World chaos and destruction.

Consequently, they are wholly responsible for this season of darkness, all of them, including their shell-of-a-candidate, Joe Biden, and his soulless running mate Kamala Harris, who said nothing about the rioting during the DNC convention.

Or any time else, that is, until their poll numbers started dropping. Had their poll numbers remained positive, Democrats would’ve let the rest of America burn until it resembled the World Trade Center’s charred remains after the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

And what is the Democrat’s solution? Elect “Not-All-There” Joe. Democrats should be charged with elder abuse for using Biden as their Trojan horse to usher in a cop-free, mob-ruled United States of Portland.

And Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi should be removed from office after suggesting Republicans in Congress were “enemies of the state” a few days before a massive mob of Democrat Party voters attacked Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul on the last night of the Republican National Convention.

Let’s not forget Sen. Paul was previously hospitalized with six broken ribs and a punctured lung after a ravenous leftist neighbor attacked him from behind while mowing his lawn in 2017. Earlier that year, Paul suffered another attack on a baseball field when a crazy, gun-wielding Bernie Sanders supporter, James Hodgkinson, decided it was open season on Republicans. Hodgkinson nearly killed Congressman Steve Scalise in the process.

On Fox News’ “Fox & Friends” following the most recent attack, Paul said he believed the police presence nearby saved his life. One doesn’t have to let their mind wander far to understand why Democrats are defunding police departments in cities they control across America, meaning Democrats shouldn’t be trusted to care for a dog, let alone a major American city.

Speaking of dogs, a wise Alaskan once said, “If you tie a wolf to a sled dog team, there will be lots of activity but no forward progress.”