Straight Line of the Day: “Deeply Religious” Biden Has Looked Into the Bible, and Found…

Straight Line of the Day: “Deeply religious” Biden has looked into the Bible, and found…

51 Comments

  1. …hell hath a fury, like a Pelosi scorned.

    …the most tempting thing in hell makes Sinead O’connor look like Lady Godiva.

    …the price he pays for selling his soul to be elected is being elected.

    …fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, so he lost weight and quit drinking.

      • Elvis Presley Lyrics
        “Mama Liked The Roses”

        Oh, mama liked the roses she grew them in the yard
        But Winter always came around and made the growing way too hard
        Oh, mama liked the roses and when she had the time
        She’d decorate the living room, for all us kids to see
        When I hear the Sunday bells ringing in the morning
        I remember crying when she used to sing
        Oh, mama liked the roses but most of all she cared
        About the way we learned to live
        And if we said our prayers

        You know I kept the family bible
        With a rose that she saved inside
        It was pressed between the pages
        Like it had found a place to hide

        Oh, mama liked the roses in such a special way
        We bring them every Mother’s Day
        And put them on her grave
        Oh, mama liked the roses, mmm
        Mama liked the roses

      • Or perhaps?

        Tanya Tucker

        Delta Dawn, what’s that flower you have on
        Could it be a faded rose from days gone by?
        And did I hear you say he was a-meeting you here today
        To take you to his mansion in the sky?

        She’s forty-one and her daddy still calls her, ‘baby’
        All the folks around Brownsville say she’s crazy
        ‘Cause she walks down town with a suitcase in her hand
        Looking for a mysterious dark-haired man

        In her younger days they called her Delta Dawn
        Prettiest woman you ever laid eyes on
        Then a man of low degree stood by her side
        And promised her he’d take her for his bride

        Delta Dawn, what’s that flower you have on
        Could it be a faded rose from days gone by?
        And did I hear you say he was a-meeting you here today
        To take you to his mansion in the sky?

        Delta Dawn, what’s that flower you have on
        Could it be a faded rose from days gone by?
        And did I hear you say he was a-meeting you here today
        To take you to his mansion in the sky?

        Delta Dawn, what’s that flower you have on
        Could it be a faded rose from days gone by?
        And did I hear you say he was a-meeting you here today
        To take you to his mansion in the sky?

        Delta Dawn, what’s that flower you have on
        Could it be a faded rose from days gone by?
        And did I hear you say he was a-meeting you here today
        To take you to his mansion in the sky?

  2. …scrawled under a big reset button, the words Amen, brother, Amen.

    …he had the New York Times Style Guide Version Bible. So: a heavily redacted Archie comic, a whiskey flask, some peas and a (paper) straw.

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