As a service to our readers, here are some pointers from our president that should prove handy in any situation: talking to a waitress, a muffin, or the press (if you have to), or even to your boss. Feel free to cut and paste when appropriate:
This is a great, great thing we’re doing, and we’re doing it together. It’s huge. Nothing like it has ever been seen by anyone — I mean it. A lot of people . . . a lot of very smart people — you know, the best we have, very — have come to me and told me it’s great, how did you get it done? But we’re only beginning. Only beginning.
But, you know —
[Launch into your own personal reminiscence, but remember to hold up one finger in the air.]
I said this to a muffin just this morning. It was YUGE!
But, you know….My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives. In addition my mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention. Also fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben. In conclusion try to remember that why we are all here today is because I hired you people to get a bit of track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!
Dogonnit zzyzx, you write prettier than a $20 horse!
Now, who can argue with that?
A liberal.