Alford Doctrine: Guilty plea whereby a defendant in a criminal case does not admit to the criminal act and asserts innocence, but admits that sufficient evidence exists to convict.

(To the tune of “Uncle Albert” by Paul McCartney)

♩♩♪

We’re so sorry
Uncle Alford
We’re so sorry if we caused you mental strain
We’re so sorry
Uncle Alford
But there’s no one left to vote who still believes you’re going to reign . . .

We’re so sorry
Uncle Alford
But you haven’t done a bloody thing in D.C.
We’re so sorry
Uncle Alford
But the middle’s such a muddle, and they’re so easily drawn, you see . . .

Kamala, palsy
Notified me
He doesn’t have a clue and he is often out at sea
I had another look
At his instability
And a muttered lie
(Muttered lie?)
“Hunter never took a dime from the Moscow mayor’s wife”

Hands Across Her Shoulders
(Shoulders)
Hands Around Her Waist
.
Hands Across Her Shoulders
(Shoulders)
Social Distaste . . .

♩♩♪

And now, turning the dial, a Marvin Gaye song:

“Oh, MRSA, MRSA me

Things ain’t what they used to be

Where did all the blue states go? . . . “