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Archive of entries posted on 6th November 2020
Why Do Men Like Breasts?
And why does this title tittilate?
1. They’re round.
Guys don’t have a lot of round things on them.
(Sidebar: butts are a subject for another time. Or maybe not.)
2. They may remind guys of their nourishment as infants.
I don’t for a second buy this Freudian one, because it would have the same effect on women, which it clearly doesn’t.
(Except some. Another subject for another time.)
3. They protrude.
Which is nice.
Guys know, from their own experience, that things protrude when someone is sexually aroused. Protrusion = sexual arousal.
4. And they’re round.
I know this repeats Point One, but guys are not known for looking at these things just one time.
Guys’ protrusions are direct — directed — unidirectional. Guys may actually be jealous of something they see as bulbous and round.
Guys may be jerks, but they’re extremely committed jerks.
(Your mileage may vary.)
Look at next week’s Babesleaga and tell me what you think.
Fizzbin Puts a Smiley Face on a Very Dangerous Game
He was born here, he was raised here, and dadgum it, he’s gonna die here, and no sidewindin’ bushwackin’, hornswaglin’, cracker-croaker is gonna rouin his bishen cutter.
Please excuse Walrus’s absence for two days.
He is either:
… sick of you personally,
… golfing,
… helping Biden with his lawsuits,
… re-coup-ing,
… on an emu search-and-destroy mission,
… getting a nameplate made,
… waxing nostalgic,
… waxing Ol’ Sparky,
… waxing Brazilians,
or something else. To be honest, I got distracted by his next Babesleaga photos and didn’t read the rest of his email.
Theft! Go-Darned Blatant, In-Your-Face Theft!
Since There’s Nothing Going on in National News Today (2 of 2)
Escaped Cloned Female Mutant Crayfish Take Over Belgian Cemetery
The Telegraph | 10/23/2020 | James CrispEscaped self-cloning mutant crayfish created in experimental breeding programs have invaded a Belgian cemetery.
Hundreds of the duplicating crustaceans, which can dig down to up to a meter and are always female, pose a deadly threat to local biodiversity after colonizing a historic Antwerp graveyard.
“It’s impossible to round up all of them. It’s like trying to empty the ocean with a thimble,” said Kevin Scheers of the Flemish Institute for Nature and Woodland Research.
Marbled crayfish, which travel across land and water at night and eat whatever they can, do not occur in nature and are banned by the European Union.
Instead the freshwater beasts, which are about 10cm big and voracious, are thought to have been bred by unscrupulous German pet traders in the 1990s.
They are similar to the slough crayfish found in Florida
… who do not pay $150 to wrestle leopards …
but are parthenogenetic, which means they reproduce with themselves and all their children are genetically identical females.
The mutation, which occurred about 25 years ago, means populations can spring up rapidly from just a single Procambarus virginalis.
In 2018 scientists established the global marbled crayfish population was descended from a single female and didn’t need males to reproduce.
Since There’s Nothing Going on in National News Today (1 of 2)
Thought you guys would be bored, since nothing else is grabbing headlines.
A Florida Man Was Mauled by a Leopard After Paying $150 for a ‘Full-Contact Experience’
WESH | 10/31 | Melissa Alonso and Alaa ElassarA man in Florida was mauled after paying $150 for a “full-contact experience” with a black leopard.
Dwight Turner, 50, has undergone two surgeries since being attacked by the animal on Aug. 31, his wife, Natushka Turner, said in a sworn written statement to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC).
Dwight Turner and the leopard’s owner, Michael Poggi, 54, arranged for him to “play with it, rub its belly and take pictures” on Poggi’s property in Davie, FWC said in a captive wildfire report.
The “feel-good” story of the year. Don’t you feel good that you’re not him?
Straight Line of the Day: If Your Grandchild Asked You What the ’80s or ’90s Were Like, You’d Say…
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