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[Adapted from the movie “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles”]
Kneel (to 2020):
You’re no saint. You got free looting, you got a free election, and someone who’ll listen to your boring candidate.
I mean, didn’t you notice on the plane when you started masking, eventually I started reading the vomit bag? — Didn’t that give you some sort of clue, like, hey, maybe this guy’s not enjoying it?
You know, everything is not a crisis. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are dangerous or mildly confusing or interesting.
You’re a miracle! Your year had none of that!
You’re not even amusing accidentally!
“Honey, I’d like you to meet A.D. 2020: it’s got some amazing news stories for you. Oh, and here’s a gun so you can blow your brains out. You’ll thank me for it!”
I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days, I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They’d say, “How can you stand it?” I’d say, “‘Cause I’ve lived through 2020. I can take anything.”
You know what they’d say? They’d say, “I know what you mean. The murder hornet year? Whoa!”
It’s like going on a date with a Talky Tina doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn’t pull it out and snap it back, you would. “Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh!”
And by the way, you know, when you’re creating these little lockdowns? Here’s a good idea: have a point! It makes it so much more interesting for the sufferer!
…
2020: You play with your balls a lot.
Kneel: I do NOT play with my balls.
2020: Larry Bird doesn’t do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!
Kneel: Are you trying to start a fight?
2020: No. I’m simply stating a fact. That’s all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.
Kneel: You know what’d make me happy?
2020: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?
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Canadians Are Being Warned Not To Let Moose Lick Their Cars (No, We’re Not Joking)
Carscoops | November 17, 2020 | Brad AndersonCanadians are being warned not to let moose lick their cars. It might sound like a weird joke, but it’s actually true.
Over the weekend, images posted to Twitter appeared to show a sign in Jasper, Alberta stating ‘Do not let moose lick your car.’ The images gained so much attention that Snopes set out to determine if the sign was real. The answer is, yes, the sign is legit and this is a very real issue in parts of Canada.
These images, as well as a separate video on Facebook, were snapped along Maligne Lake Road in Jasper, an area where moose are frequently seen during the winter months. As it turns out, the moose love the taste of road salt and have discovered that they can access a near-endless supply from the body panels of cars.
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Not to mention that it is also against the law that prohibits people to feed or disturb wildlife in national parks, with violators facing fines of up to $25,000.
Even if it’s an Elk Camino?
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