Wow. The hits just keep on coming.
He ate a dog, he slept with composite women (who totally existed!), he loved driving drunk, and he used to bully kids by punching them in the face.
Too bad all John McCain did was serve his country and spend 5 years being tortured in Vietnamese prison camps. He might’ve amounted to something.
I thought about reading DFMF myself to see what other oddball tidbits are in there, but I’m right in the middle of “The Count of Monte Cristo” right now (“You’ll like it. It’s about a prison break.”), so I’m just gonna have to take a few guesses at what other surprises await the discerning reader :
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1) Fell in love with a singer at a night club. Turned out *spoiler alert* she was a dude.
2) Worked for a secret government agency whose goal was to keep people from finding out that aliens live among us. He was Agent K’s original partner, Agent O, although his name was changed to protect his identity in that documentary by Will Smith.
3) While living in Hawaii, invented the grass skirt. Still wears them behind the podium at press conferences.
4) During his introduction of Professor Derrick Bell at a Harvard protest in 1991, mistakenly described him as “the founder of America’s Mexican fast-food industry.”
5) In a crazy bar bet with a young man identified only as “Johnny”, lost a golden fiddle.
6) Only smoked marijuana once, experimentally. Then 7000 more times to confirm his data. Scientific method rules!
7) His roommate in college was a Chinese guy that Obama constantly borrowed money from, but never repaid.
8) Amazed his friends by appearing to die while fighting a Balrog, only to appear months later wearing a white robe and requesting that he should be addressed with a peculiar nickname that seemed to deny his African-American heritage.
9) Never actually told his literary agent that he was born in Kenya. Over a bad connection, he’d told his secretary that he was a “born Keynesian”. From there, chalk it up to poor penmanship.
10) As a poverty-stricken student at Occidental College in L.A., his lack of means forced him to do his own automotive maintenance, including changing his own oil. Which he would dump on the beach and blame BP for.
11) Shot a man in Reno just to watch the shortcomings of the failed American healthcare system let him die.
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Anyway, go ahead & read Dreams From My Father yourself. Bet you a gold fiddle my list isn’t nearly as weird as what’s actually in there.
Desperate for money as a college student he tried working as male stripper – briefly. His act was so bad the patrons demanded that he give them money.
I heard he pushed some kid named Billy Joe off a bridge down Mississippi way.
Pass.
I can think of a zillion better things to do with my time, including: roll around in a fire ant nest while covered with honey; try to get a BAC over 0.6 and still survive; and try to explain the free market to a group of hippies.
Of the 3, I choose fire ants.
1) he once got his head stuck in a bucket
2) he once was a carpenter, and McCain was Pontius Pilot.
3) he picked up the phrase “spend your way out of recession” in a madrassa when he came to school late one day and missed the first part of the class when the teacher explained they would be learning idioms for “complete and utter stupidity”.
4) although he did eat a dog, it was one of his many coke-fueled rages. He smoked some pot to “mellow out” but instead got the munchies. Blame the coke, not the cokehead.
Was taught how to ride a girl’s bike, but not a boy’s bike. The emotional scar is still visible today and affects his dancing.
5) In a crazy bar bet with a young man identified only as “Johnny”, lost a golden fiddle.
Excellent CDB reference!
Cheers to Mark Mancuso – Great reference!
TL/DR
Which father?
The one that was a Kenyan finance minister, or the one that was a polygamist communist anti-British Colonialist?
“go ahead and read Dreams From My Father”
i’d rather set fire to my face and beat it out with a track shoe.
I would rather light my scrotum on fire and put it out
with an ice pick than read “wet, black, dreams”
References to both Charlie Daniels and Johnny Cash. Harvey, you are a genius.