Straight Line of the Day: One Way You Can Tell You’re Mellowing With Age: … Posted by Oppo on 28 May 2022, 12:00 pm Straight Line of the Day: One way you can tell you’re mellowing with age: … Spread it around:Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)MoreClick to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Like this:Like Loading... Related
I no longer get as upset because I suck at satire so I keep doing Bruce Baum type of stuff. Loading... 1 Reply to this comment
You shoot them in the head right away instead of first plugging the knees and elbows. Loading... 4 Reply to this comment
You change the channel instead of throwing your beer at the screen. Loading... 2 Reply to this comment
You used to own a rottweiler named Butkus. Now you have a Labrador named Bradley. Loading... 2 Reply to this comment
You sometimes pay attention to those little nagging doubts in your head before saying, “Hold my beer.” Loading... 3 Reply to this comment
Instead of turning up the volume when the opening chords of “Born to Be Wild” cascade from the speakers, you just turn up your hearing aid. Loading... 3 Reply to this comment
You are mellowing when….you still smell like fine wine but parts of you begin smelling like old cheddar… Loading... 3 Reply to this comment
Instead of cursing when you hear the name of certain former Presidents, you just cross your fingers and spit. Loading... Reply to this comment
I used to be full of piss and vinegar, but not I just sit and ferment! Loading... 2 Reply to this comment
…They call me Mellow Yellow Tinged. …fighting your enemies seems to be just an attempt to outlive your country. …while sitting in your secret lair, stroking the cat in your lap, you make plans to take over the Swedish bikini team. Loading... 2 Reply to this comment
One way you can tell you’re mellowing with age: … Fewer hippies being punched. Loading... 1 Reply to this comment
I no longer get as upset because I suck at satire so I keep doing Bruce Baum type of stuff.
You shoot them in the head right away instead of first plugging the knees and elbows.
You change the channel instead of throwing your beer at the screen.
Your pronouns are “eh” and “meh”
… you find much of what is happening faintly amusing…
You used to own a rottweiler named Butkus. Now you have a Labrador named Bradley.
Nobody messes with Omar…
You sometimes pay attention to those little nagging doubts in your head before saying, “Hold my beer.”
You own a cardigan.
Instead of turning up the volume when the opening chords of “Born to Be Wild” cascade from the speakers, you just turn up your hearing aid.
You only silently judge those who prefer a Glock to a 1911.
You are mellowing when….you still smell like fine wine but parts of you begin smelling like old cheddar…
Instead of cursing when you hear the name of certain former Presidents, you just cross your fingers and spit.
I used to be full of piss and vinegar, but not I just sit and ferment!
…you’re sealed in an oak barrel.
…They call me Mellow Yellow Tinged.
…fighting your enemies seems to be just an attempt to outlive your country.
…while sitting in your secret lair, stroking the cat in your lap, you make plans to take over the Swedish bikini team.
Better the Swedish bikini team than the Jamaican bobsled team.
One way you can tell you’re mellowing with age: …
Fewer hippies being punched.