I ran out of gas! I got a flat tire! I didn’t have change for cab fare! I lost my tux at the cleaners! I locked my keys in the car! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
I must’ve screwed up the driving instructions. Oppo told me how to find this year’s potluck after he smelled my durian-lutefisk curry at last year’s potluck.
Thus, I’m guessing that this coming weekend . . . we’ll have to dock that Alaskan a day’s pay? You know that how much you get paid here could feud [sic] a family of ten for a year.
{I couldn’t think of any slang nicknames for Alaskans to plug into the quote. Got any?}
Straight Line of Some Other Day: An Newly-Invented Nickname for Alaskans: …
I forgot to wind my calendar.
I knew someone would bring cookies with walnuts.
I ran out of gas! I got a flat tire! I didn’t have change for cab fare! I lost my tux at the cleaners! I locked my keys in the car! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
I got a better invitation to the Instamansion.
I hope you didn’t drink the smoothies.
I’ve been feeling ill after everytime I get gasoline. They’re calling it the Carownervirus.
An allergy to angry Emu…
Juneteenth? What’s that???
Sorry. I’ll bring a tuna salad for Julyteenth.
Tell the truth, you were hopped up on the catnip again, weren’t ya?
Well…it was Monday after all.
Scheduling conflict, already had an invitation to celebrate the coal fired electrical bon voyage of Ethel & Julius.
I had already scheduled that day to rearrange my sock drawer.
…while making my dish for the potluck, I got stuck on whether I should use basil or basil.
…I was told it was in the month of Septober.
Apple Maps took my to DNC headquarters instead.
I am always way too busy oppressing people, I hear.
I was supposed to catch a ride with the yak.
My chafing dish is in the shop.
I must’ve screwed up the driving instructions. Oppo told me how to find this year’s potluck after he smelled my durian-lutefisk curry at last year’s potluck.
My invitation didn’t arrive in the mail until the day of. I regret that I was unable to travel so quickly.
I was too busy helping Kamala build her Kwanzahut..and like everything Democrat it is mostly steal..
Juneteenth came on Fathers Day this year. I was working hard to become a father…. again.
So What’s Your Excuse for Missing the IMAO Juneteeth Potluck at Corporate Global HQ?
My neighbor blew their hand off lighting fireworks to celebrate our national independence and the ambulance was blocking my car.
I didn’t have enough bacon for my bacon wrapped maple bacon cupcakes.
Maybe next year you’ll be more generous with your thumbs.
So what’s your excuse for missing the IMAO Juneteeth Potluck at Corporate Global HQ?
I didn’t vote for Biden.
So what’s your excuse for missing the IMAO Juneteeth Potluck at Corporate Global HQ?
I was stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis blues again.
So what’s your excuse for missing the IMAO Juneteeth Potluck at Corporate Global HQ?
Good luck?
So what’s your excuse for missing the IMAO Juneteeth Potluck at Corporate Global HQ?
It was my day off.
The Kool-Aid the announcer kept telling us to drink made me start to feel sick…
It was a three day weekend, and like all Alaskans do on three day weekends in the summer….I went fishing.
Thus, I’m guessing that this coming weekend . . . we’ll have to dock that Alaskan a day’s pay? You know that how much you get paid here could feud [sic] a family of ten for a year.
{I couldn’t think of any slang nicknames for Alaskans to plug into the quote. Got any?}
Straight Line of Some Other Day: An Newly-Invented Nickname for Alaskans: …
… “Close to Hawaii Five-O. But not quite.”
… “Ya Wanna Talk Cold?”
… “My Internal Combustion Engine? Molon Labe.”
… “Incontinentals”
… “Fiercely Independen . . . BEAR!”
There are no slang nicknames for Alaskans that I know of.
Also, slavery in Alaska involved natives enslaving other natives, so it’s not the type that’s PC to care about.