Huh. Apparently Jesus’ Teachings Have Evolved

A crazed Southwest Airlines passenger who tried to open the aircraft’s door mid-flight before biting another passenger in the thigh claimed . . . that ‘Jesus told her to fly to Ohio and Jesus told her to open the door’, according to a court document.

Daily Mail | 11-29-22 | Neirin Gray Desai

Straight Line of the Day: Biden Is Upholding His Sworn Oath To Defend the Second Amendment Because…

We Don’t Need Biden’s Permission To Own A ‘Semi-Automatic’ Gun
The Federalist | November 28, 2022

“The idea we still allow semi-automatic weapons to be purchased is sick,” Joe Biden argued on Thanksgiving. “It has no socially redeeming value. Zero. None. Not a single solitary rationale for it except profit for the gun manufacturers.”

Straight Line of the Day: Biden is upholding his sworn oath to defend the Second Amendment because…

Really Big Landscaper Plants Tree, Then Asks To Use Your Bathroom: What Do You Do?

Classic Car Competition

“Good morning Mr. Walrus got the results from last week’s vote and it wasn’t pretty.”

“No?”

“Nope, it was a whooping.”

So, who won?”

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120 votes · 120 answers

“Yikes!”

“Yikes indeed sir, shall we move on?”

“Quickly Miss Ireland, quickly.”

Mercedes 300SL Gullwing 1954 vs Chevrolet Corvette 1963

Mercedes 300SL Gullwing 1954

Mention the Mercedes 300SL Gullwing 1954 and you’ll undoubtedly see ears prick up, especially if you’re in a circle of classic car fans. One of the most stylish and iconic classic cars in the world, the Gullwing firmly cemented its place as a premium offering as soon as it launched. 

Capable of reaching a top speed of up to 163 mph, it was the fastest production car in the world at the time. The “SL” in its name translates in German to super-leicht, or “super light”. That racing-ready body was designed to be as light as possible to hit top speeds.

VS

Chevrolet Corvette 1963

The Chevrolet Corvette 1963 was a rare car even when it was first released, which means sourcing a journey in one of these nowadays—let alone even trying to buy one—is an adventure in itself. This famous American muscle car was known best for its “split-window coupe”, offering a unique perspective both from the inside and the outside. 

It was considered to be one of the most powerful cars of its time, with strong engines and buttery soft leather on the inside. A time capsule back into the 1960s, it’s worth the hunt if you can source access to one of these cars, even just for a quick glimpse.

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108 votes · 108 answers

Americans: Take These Weird Steps To Avoid Being Bludgeoned by a Hammer-Wielding Liberal in Underwear

  1. Parse the title to see who is supposed to be in underwear.

2. Get the cops to absolutely refuse to clarify this.

3. Be Paul Pelosi.

I can’t believe you haven’t figured this out yet!

Same People Who Decided “Black” Should Be Capitalized Under Certain Circumstances Are Now Probably Conferring on Whether “Pussy” Should Be in the Dictionary at All

(No link for this. I made it up. But there’s a certain n-word that makes this subject not parody: if it’s not allowed in literature, why should it even be in a dictionary?)

I hate this century.

Don’t be stupid, be a smartie: Join the IHTC party.

Remember These Words When You Hear Their Excuses Regarding U.S. Winter Power Outages . . . Followed by the Summer Ones . . .

US To provide $53M for Ukraine’s Electrical System

TeleTrader | 11/29/22

The United States will provide Ukraine with aid worth $53 million to support the conflict-struck country’s electrical system, the State Department said in a note it sent to media outlets on Tuesday.

According to the statement, the funds will be used for “the acquisition of critical electricity grid equipment,” including “distribution transformers, circuit breakers, surge arresters, disconnectors, vehicles and other key equipment.”

… which would be nice to have in most U.S. states. Especially the “other key equipment.” Meetings in Jamaica?

Has the Ukraine government already used up the more than $66 billion we sent them? Yet spent none of it on electrical infrastructure?

I hear electrical equipment, like everything else, loses ten percent in transmission to the Big Guy.

House Republicans Tell Biden the Gravy Train Is Over, Call for Audit on Money Sent to Ukraine
SLAY | November 23, 2022 | David Hawkins

House Republicans have put Democrat President Joe Biden on notice and introduced a proposal to audit the billions of dollars in taxpayer money his administration has sent to Ukraine.

The measure was introduced by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) with the support of Reps. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), Paul Gosar (R-AZ), Thomas Massie (R-KY), Andy Biggs (R-AZ), Barry Moore (R-AL), Matt Rosendale (R-MT), Andrew Clyde (R-GA), Dan Bishop (R-NC), Greg Steube (R-FL), and Clay Higgins (R-LA).

The funds the GOP plans to audit will include all military spending, humanitarian aid, and economic aid sent by America to Ukraine.

Greene issued a statement on the move, saying:

“The American people deserve to know where their hard-earned tax dollars are going to a foreign country that is not a member of NATO and President Biden himself said he would not defend.

“We’re ignoring the dangers happening in our country while we are completely protecting another country’s border and waging a proxy war with Russia.

“The American people are who we represent and I can tell you right now, my district … is not interested in continuing to fund a war in Ukraine and defending Ukraine‘s border while our border is being invaded every single day,” she said.

Congressman Rosendale said:

“Congress sent almost $66 billion in taxpayer dollars to Ukraine over the past year, and President Biden is urging the House to rush another $37.7 billion through a lame-duck session.

Pay your taxes to us, say the Democrats. And, for that matter, the Republicans who go along with them.

Biden’s Non-Binary Nuclear Waste Guy Brings a Lot of Non-Binary Baggage

(1=CheckedInLuggage; 0=DidNotCheckInLuggage)

(1=Yours; 0=Mine)

10% To the Big Guy To Produce Pardon

In other news:

Club Q Shooter Self-Described As “Non-Binary” — Term Strangely Absent From News

Straight Line of the Day: Jeep Wants a Name for Its New Wagoneer. Ideas: …

Jeep Opens Name the New Wagoneer Contest…Runs to December 2, Grand Prize a $40,000 Ski Trip for Four
Autoblog | Nov 27th 2022 | Jonathon Ramsey

At the end of October, Jeep brand President Christian Meunier told Motor Trend that Jeep was in search of just the right name for the battery-electric Wagoneer S.

All one has to do is head to the website, enter a few identifying details, enter a name of 50 characters or less, and submit it to the Jeep gatekeepers.

Straight Line of the Day: Jeep wants a name for its new Wagoneer. Ideas: …

Scientists Grab Multiple Fly-Swatters, Wiping Out Several Years of Research

“Ecch” Says Spokesperson

Caption This!

Babesleaga Group Q : Week 7 : Emilia Clarke vs Eva Mendes

Good night.

Emilia Clarke vs Eva Mendes

Emilia Clark (2-4-0 Pts. 474 Avg. 79.00)

  • Defeated Emma Watson 90-70
  • Lost to Cate Blanchett 83-110
  • Lost to Lucy Liu 71-108
  • Lost to Lea Seydoux 71-100
  • Defeated Naomie Harris 11535
  • Lost to Elizabeth Hurley 43-122

VS

Eva Mendes (5-1-0 Pts. 590 Avg. 98.33)

  • Defeated Lea Seydoux 75-73
  • Lost to Lucy Liu 99-107
  • Defeated Emma Watson 96-67
  • Defeated Cate Blanchett 102-59
  • Defeated Elizabeth Hurley 74-72
  • Defeated Naomie Harris 145-22

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134 votes · 134 answers

Babesleaga Group Q : Week 7 : Naomie Harris vs Elizabeth Hurley

Good evening.

Naomie Harris vs Elizabeth Hurley

Naomie Harris (0-6-0 Pts. 230 Avg. 38.33)

  • Lost to Lucy Liu 33-99
  • Lost to Lea Seydoux 37-129
  • Lost to Cate Blanchett 35-129
  • Lost to Emma Watson 69-92
  • Lost to Emilia Clarke 34-116
  • Lost to Eva Mendes 22-145

VS

Elizabeth Hurley (5-1-0 Pts. 697 Avg. 116.17)

  • Defeated Cate Blanchett 127-22
  • Defeated Emma Watson 158-44
  • Defeated Lea Seydoux 102-69
  • Defeated Lucy Liu 116-67
  • Lost to Eva Mendes 72-74
  • Defeated Emilia Clarke 122-43

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
132 votes · 132 answers

Babesleaga Group Q : Week 7 : Lea Seydoux vs Cate Blanchett

Good Afternoon.

Lea Seydoux vs Cate Blanchett

Lea Seydoux (3-3-0 Pts. 554 Avg. 92.33)

  • Lost to Eva Mendes 73-75
  • Defeated Naomie Harris 129-37
  • Lost to Elizabeth Hurley 69-102
  • Defeated Emilia Clarke 100-71
  • Defeated Emma Watson 103-65
  • Lost to Lucy Liu 86-80

VS

Cate Blanchett (3-3-0 Pts. 469 Avg. 78.17)

  • Lost to Elizabeth Hurley 22-127
  • Defeated Emilia Clarke 110-83
  • Defeated Naomie Harris 129-35
  • Lost to Eva Mendes 59-102
  • Lost to Lucy Liu 48-113
  • Defeated Emma Watson 101-65

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
136 votes · 136 answers

Straight Line of the Day: The Most Sought-After Toy This Christmas: …

Straight Line of the Day: The most sought-after toy this Christmas: …