Archive of entries posted on 31st January 2023

Or Try This One

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♪

Bye bye job
Bye bye crappiness
Hail ol’ Polonius:
That “to thine own self” guy

Bye bye job
Bye bye speciousness
Hello spaciousness
I feel like I can’t lie:
By God, I love goodbye

There go my workmates with someone new
I sure feel happy; they sure are blue
They were coworkers ’til I stepped out
Goodbye to reviews, and fear and doubt

Bye bye job
Hello happiness
Good luck with all that mess
I think I’ma gonna cry

I’m through with role-play; through with kid gloves
I’m through with courting the people above
And here’s the reason that I’m so free
My beloved bibliotech is through with me

Bye bye job
Bye bye trap-iness
Hello only-me-ness
And other new things I’ll try

Buh-bye, my job, bye bye

♪

5

For No One — In Particular

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♪

The Coke breaks, the smoke breaks,
You find that all your work just kinda lingers on
When they no longer need you
They wake up, take slack up
You’ve done your time and have no need to worry
You no longer need them

And once retired, you’ll do nothing
No single thing left in arrears
Obliged to no one
A job that surely lasted years

Don’t want to? Don’t need to
And yet you don’t believe it
When you see your Monday’s free
You think you’re dreaming

And in retirees you see nothing
No sign of constantly shifting gears
Prized by no one
A grind that surely lasted years

You stay home, or go out,
You’ll say that that long ago you had curfew
But now it’s through, and you don’t need one
The day breaks, your back aches:
There will be times when all the golf you played is worth the trade
You can be a Forgetter

On some fine days, you’ll do nothing
No sign of loss beyond your peers
Replaced by no one
A drain that could have lasted years

 

 

♪

4

Promoted Comment: Pedo Troll Cover of “Locomotive Breath”

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Courtesy of Bob B:

♪

In the shuffling madness
Of his neck-sniffing breath,
Leads the all-time loser,
Headlong to our death
Oh, he feels the piston scraping
Steam breaking on his brow
Old Joe, he stole the handle
And the train it won’t stop
Oh no way to slow down
He makes our children jump off
At the stations one by one
His woman and his best friend
In charge and having fun
Oh, he’s crawling down the corridor
On his hands and knees
Old Joe, he stole the handle
And the train it won’t stop going
No way to slow down
Hey
He hears the silence howling
Catches naps as markets fall
And the so-called winner
Has got us by the balls
Oh, he makes up facts & figures
Starting from day one
Don’t know how he stole the handle
But the train it won’t stop going
No way to slow down
No way to slow down
No way to slow down
No way to slow down

♪

7

What the Hell Can’t This Guy Get Off Of?

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Gov. Gavin Newsom on the Addiction Crisis: “We All Need To Self-Medicate Periodically”
Not the Bee | 01/30/2023

“Clean and sober is one of the biggest damn mistakes this country ever made…We all need to self-medicate periodically” – Gavin Newsom, explaining his plan to self-medicate California out of our addiction epidemic.

Let us put this medical genius in charge. Of anything.

What The Hell Is This Guy On?

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You have the weird of a Biden:

Biden Claims He Had Amtrak Train Key, Rode Home 15% of Time With Engineers
NY Post | January 30, 2023 | Steven Nelson

Biden claimed Monday that he had an Amtrak train key when he was a senator and would ride “about 15% of the time” with engineers on trips home to Delaware.

…

“I can say it now since there’s different leadership. I used to about 15% of the time ride with the engineers, for real. And I’m the only guy that I’m aware of — when I stopped riding Amtrak — that had a key to get in the back,” Biden said.

It’s unclear if Biden has told the story before, though he regularly shares personal anecdotes that fall apart under scrutiny.

Amtrak spokespeople did not immediately respond to The Post’s request for comment.

When you’ve got to get away from CornPop muy pronto, from your Puerto Rican community and your daily black church service and regular Jewish religious school, and you’ve got a dead Amtrak conductor praising you for how much you travel — well, even if you have driven a truck, the choice is easy when you have the key to the back door of a train.

1

Straight Line of the Day: Where Should the Government Invest Its Money?

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White House Discloses Plan To Fund Crypto Research
Law360 | Jan. 27, 2023 | Jessica Corso

Top advisers for President Joe Biden revealed on Friday that the administration was planning to fund the research and development of digital asset technology but was first seeking public input on where to invest its money.

The White House’s Office of Science and Technology Policy said members of the public have until March 3 to help identify priority areas of research for its new national digital assets research and development agenda.

…

The White House will release its priorities for digital asset research in the “coming months,” the officials said. The government has identified blockchain, distributed ledgers, decentralized finance, smart contract and cybersecurity issues as some of the possible areas for research and development.

Straight Line of the Day: Where should the government invest its money?

Walrus

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It’s probably about time Walrus retired, anyway:

The photo of chess pieces is a nice touch. To gloss over the unseemly details, I imagine his retirement more or less like this:

However, you may have other thoughts.

Caption This!

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