Cartoons and Memes : Saturday Night Special

“Hello Miss Cardinale, enjoying a day out?”

“Yes sir, yourself?”

“Very nice day on the golf course, I so do like retirement.”

“Well, as Jimmy Buffett says ”Cause I love cajun martinis and playin’ afternoon golf.'”

“A wise man indeed. So do we have last week’s results?”

“And this week’s entries!”

“Proceed.”

Winner

10.

This week’s entries.

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Which one is funniest?
107 votes · 107 answers

National Institutes of Health Predict “Awe-Inspiring” Health Crisis That Will Require Mail-In Ballots in 2024

“We Totally See This Coming” They Say, As Funding Cycle in Congress Gets Under Way

Mandates for Votes To Be Collected and Cast By Ward Bosses Seen as the Best Therapy for This Health Crisis

Dr. Chuckle and Mister Hide

I’m thinking of doing a woke rewrite of the Robert Louis Stevenson classic, where they take over the White House.

Only problem is, I’d have to merge the First Lady(?) and the Vice President.

White House Declares Biden’s Sucking of Jill Biden’s Toes “Nothing Unusual”

Man Identifies As Rocket Ship

Unable To Lift Off

“Man, this is hard,” he said. “I can no more counteract gravity than I can give birth!”

NASA Assigns Him His Own Gantry and Team, Just To Be Safe

Local Man Who Said Something Insulting About Government Is Arrested

Federal Department of Combating Disinformation for the Sake of Equity is now Looking Into Hate Crime Charges

Ah, Good Old Alma Maters That Identify as Alma Paters

Or “Alma Lives Mater; But Diplomas Don’t”

A Majority of Colleges Have Dropped SAT Requirements, Matt Yglesias Has an Interesting Theory Why
Hotair | 04/26/2023 | John Sexton

So if you have kids in college or heading to college sometime soon then you’re probably already aware that many schools have abandoned the SAT as a requirement for applicants. Forbes reported last fall that the SAT is now optional at a majority of schools.

As the college application process picks up steam for the upcoming academic year, a new survey shows that more than 80% of U.S. bachelor-degree granting institutions will not require students seeking fall 2023 admission to submit either ACT or SAT standardized exam scores…

“An overwhelming majority of undergraduate admissions offices now make selection decisions without relying on ACT/SAT results,” said FairTest Executive Director Harry Feder in the organization’s news release. “These schools recognize that standardized test scores do not measure academic ‘merit.’ What they do assess quite accurately is family wealth, but that should not be the criteria for getting into college.”

Over at his Substack site, Matt Yglesias says this argument, that the SATs test for wealth is not completely wrong but it is a kind of convenient fiction that is meant to distract from the actual goal of dropping standardized tests. That goal, he argues, is hiding the ball on race-based preferences.

This is so obvious that it’s not worth beating around the bush: the schools leading the push toward de-testing are not making some kind of blunder, they are trying to get away with something. I’m fond of Talleyrand’s old quip “it’s worse than a crime, it’s a mistake,” but in this case, it’s a crime. SAT scores make it inconveniently easy to demonstrate anti-Asian discrimination in college admissions, so the industry is moving to burn the evidence.

Straight Line of the Day: Well? What Were You Doing That Was So Much More Important Than Listening to Kamala and What’s-His-Name?

Biden-Harris 2024 Disastrous Campaign Call Attracts Just 1,800 Viewers

Daily Fetched | April 28, 2023 | Jason Walsh

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris participated in the official Biden-Harris campaign call with grassroots supporters that only attracted 1,800 viewers on the live stream on YouTube.

This is the most popular president in history?

Throughout the video, Biden was fighting a losing battle with his teleprompter as Jill Biden helplessly stood by.

Dr. Jill looked visibly tense as Biden struggled to speak to his whole 1,800 ‘grassroots supporters.’

“Let’s finish the job,” Biden said.

“So, you know, you gotta let me tell you something because that’s so important because of all of you we will meet this moment,” Biden said.

Watch: VIDEO AT LINK……………………

Meanwhile, Kamala Harris and her husband, Doug Emhoff, also made an awkward appearance.

Doug Emhoff giggled as he informed the viewer, “I’m only here because I’m married to her.”

Emhoff is the same guy who complained about toxic masculinity.

Welcome to IMAO! So, Why Do You Want To Work for a Company With Game Women, Free Alcohol, and Free 5-Caliber Ammunition?

Like SomeDudeInTX, For the Right Amount of Money, Would You Be Willing To Accuse Trump of Attacking You in a Woman’s Dressing Room 30 Years Ago?

Reference

2023 for Hitler

Free Speech Activists Get Confused After Deeming It a Hate Crime To Denounce Criticism of Those Who Ban Mocking of Mel Brooks’ Satirical “Springtime for Hitler”

“It literally has Hitler in the title!” screams pregnant girl who thinks she’s a boy

Zzyzx Declares It’s Spring in Alaska: Only 10 Below, and the Grizzlies Are Emerging

Woman Accuses Germaphobe of Rape After Keeping Quiet About It for Thirty Years

In a Public Dressing Room — With People in the Store — Within Earshot 

The Guardian | Wed., 26 Apr, 2023 | Chris McGreal

“Donald Trump was being very light. It was very joshing and very funny,” she said. “I was flirting the whole time, probably.”

. . .

Carroll described the former president’s attempts to kiss her as “a shocking thing.”

Millionaire Playboy With Access to Playboy Mansion Violently Attacks Plain-Jane Writer

Due To Supply Chain Issues, Animatronic Joe Is Fitted With Motorcycle Battery

Least American Idea Ever

The problem is, it applies to electricity, not tea. Tea is easier to dump in the harbor.

California Power Companies Roll Out Fixed-Rate Bill Proposal
KTLA | April 14, 2023 | Marc Sternfield

If you earn more, you pay more.

That’s the basic idea behind sweeping changes proposed by California’s three largest power companies that will impact your electricity bill.

Southern California Edison, Pacific Gas & Electric, and San Diego Gas & Electric submitted a joint proposal to the state’s Public Utilities Commission last week that outlines the new rate structure. It follows last year’s passage of Assembly Bill 205 which requires a fixed rate and generally simpler power bills.

Under the proposal, households will see a fixed rate covering basic electricity services and the utility company’s operating costs on a scale based on their household income.

I get what they’re saying, but it sounds more like a variable rate than fixed (for everyone). What I think of as a fixed rate is not what they mean by a fixed rate. Or several fixed rates. Like income brackets.

And the energy employees are going to have access to your income stats?

Households with annual income from $28,000 – $69,000 would pay $20 a month in Edison territory, $34 a month in SDG&E territory and $30 a month in PG&E territory.

Households earning from $69,000 – $180,000 would pay $51 a month in Edison and PG&E territories and $73 a month in SDG&E territory.

Those with incomes above $180,000 would pay $85 a month in Edison territory, $128 a month in SDG&E territory and $92 a month in PG&E territory.

The utilities say customers should expect to also see lower costs for their kilowatt-hour usage.

If this is allowed to stand, it will spread to every other type of goods and services, and result in full-blown communism.

And so, appropriately enough, some Stalinesque feel-good weasel words:

“That law was intended to lower the amount that residential customers pay … while increasing transparency with bills,” Southern California Edison spokesperson Kathleen Dunleavy told KTLA on Friday. “This will provide relief to millions of customers.”

SCE says approximately 1.2 million of its lower-income customers will see their bills drop by 16%-21%. Overall, rates will decrease by about 33% per kilowatt hour for all residential customers, the utility says.

“We have listened to and heard from our customers that fundamental change is needed to provide bill relief,” SDG&E CEO Caroline Winn said in a statement. “When we were putting together the reform proposal, front and center in our mind were customers who live paycheck to paycheck, who struggle to pay for essentials such as energy, housing and food.”

State law requires the CPUC to adopt a new rate structure by July 1, 2024. Southern California Edison says the earliest customers would see the updated bills is 2025.

. . . after the 2024 elections. After.