We Didn’t Start To Fire

Hairy women, Night is day, China balloons on their way
South Pacific — total FUBAR — Joe Dementio

Melissa McCarthy’s now a vixen, sue your baker, Kamalavision
North Korea’s South Korea: no borders, dontchaknow?

Insect burgers, F-bombs, Chigger wheat, Banned middle class
Brandon, “My Kink and I” in a kitchen with no gas

Mandated vaccines, drama scenes with drag queens
Library Liberaces, sanity goodbye!

We didn’t start defiled
But it’s all uncanny
Since the world turned tranny
We didn’t start reviled
It took Bud to Light it
But we tried to fight it

Joseph Biden, mumbling, nasty, stumbling
Black Ops, CornPop, Communist Barak

Hunter ain’t no Einstein, pervier than Weinstein
Epstein suicide “watched around the clock”

Separate rules for elites, Rambos winning women’s meets
Deep pocket Peter Pans, Groomers, Zoomers, Disneyland

Porno, Pedo pests, Tazers, lasers
Clap on the erasers

We didn’t start defiled
It is all uncanny
Since the world turned tranny
We didn’t start the choir
It took Bud to Light it
But we tried to fight it

Little Rock Arkancide, Mickey’s mental, homos’ side,
No one cares that Feds have lied; infamy, infanticide

Air Force stairways fail, propped up on the news tonight
Press corps compromised? Children of the Lid don’t mind.

Dylan perversion, ImBev inversion

Woke enrollment, color wars . . . I can’t take it anymore!

We Didn’t Start the Fire

Burning Down Barriers: Female Firefighter Conference Causes “Out of Control” Forest Fire

Free Beacon | 05 08 2023 | Andrew Stiles

What happened: Female firefighters taking part in a Women-in-Fire Training Exchange program—intended to promote “mental health and gender diversity and inclusion”—accidentally caused an “out of control” forest fire in Banff National Park.

Residents in the surrounding areas were evacuated and several buildings were damaged on May 3 after the female firefighters initiated a prescribed burn that quickly escalated into an uncontrolled blaze.

Context: Banff National Park is in Canada, where South American migrants have been fleeing to escape the lawless squalor of America’s big cities.

What they’re saying: Days before the conference, local news outlets were celebrating the women’s fire conference for its efforts to “break down barriers in [a] male-dominated industry.” The 12-day training program was described as “an opportunity to engage participants of all different genders, ethnic, and racial backgrounds to explore the growing role of women in fire management.”

Jane Park, the female “fire management specialist” who helped organize the conference, described the group of women who accidentally started the forest fire as the “cream of the crop.” A former grad-school ski bum, Park said the training program was an opportunity for female firefighters to showcase the “value” of “diversity” in order to “build allies” among “men and people who are in the majority.”

Just Want To See If I’m Still Here Tomorrow

I deleted this string from a post yesterday (and my internet started going really slow at that point), because it changed the subject of the post and wasn’t really relevant at the moment. Now, I want to see if any agency thinks it refers to anyone in particular, by any stretch of the imagination.

Synonym:

Elderly, pedophile, dementia-ridden, incestuous, corrupt, lying, drooling, incapacitated, groping, lascivious, lecherous, treacherous, adulterous, babysitter-boinking, hypocritical, money-grubbing, fact-free, two-faced, angry, misogynist, puerile, self-centered, pretentious, sissy piece of crap bully without a scintilla of self-awareness.

Wholly Expected Unholy Response

A videocam catches two Navy boats nearly colliding.

The Navy’s response?

Attack the decade-old webcam that caught the incident.

Censorship By The NCIS?!? … Man Who Caught Two Navy Ships Nearly Colliding Ordered To Take Cameras Down

Fox 5 San Diego | May 9, 2023 | Sarah Alegre

SAN DIEGO – The man whose livestream caught two Navy ships nearly colliding in the San Diego Bay has been ordered to take the cameras down.

The Navy Criminal Investigative Service says the camera’s livestream shows military activity in the area, but the camera owner says he has the right to film.

“It might be the San Diego Web Cam today, but if you don’t stand up and call foul, we don’t know what’s it going to be tomorrow,” said Barry Bahrami who runs a group called San Diego Web Cam which provides livestreams across the city.

It was Bahrami’s video that showed the near collision of two Navy ships at the San Diego Bay back in November. The incident is also commonly referred to as “Warship Chicken” which now stands at the center of a new controversy.

“Now we have government censorship simply out of spite because we showed something they didn’t like,” said Bahrami.

He said the National Park Service has removed two of his cameras at Cabrillo National Monument per the Navy’s request, citing the protection of military personnel.

. . .

Running for nearly a decade, Bahrami said his cameras were removed just days after the Navy’s investigation findings were released last month.

Navy warships narrowly avoid colliding in San Diego Bay on 11/29/2022 … YouTube video link at:

“All hands on deck! Prosecute that ***-damn cameraman!”

Downside: Resistance Is Building to Fast-Food Restaurants Who Treat You as $75,000 Consumers Each Visit

Wendy’s Sees Growth From Higher-Income Consumers, No ‘Major Resistance’ To Prices
Yahoo Finance | 5/10/2023 | Brooke DiPalma

Wendy’s (WEN) is gaining higher-income consumers even while inflation continues to plague the restaurant business.

“The good news is we’re seeing nice growth with the over $75,000 cohort, and we continue to hold nice share there,” CEO Todd Allan Penegor said on a call with investors after Q1 2023 earnings were announced on Wednesday. The under-$75,000 consumers? The company, he said, has “maintained our share, but traffic is relatively flattish there.”

CEO Todd Allen Pinot Noir sounds like perfect fit for running a fast-food joint.

He uses the words “nice,” “nice,” and “flattish,” which is how I describe a Wendy’s meal.

Walrus Squandering His One Day Off From IMAO Per Year Over Memorial Day Weekend?

  1. Who will step up to the plate to fill the void?

2. Who will take over interviewing highly motivated intern applicants who would do anything — Anything! — to land the gig?

Not me. . . I’m busy behind the white door in front of which they’ve piled furniture.

Meghan and Harry on Filling in For Walrus During His Leave of Absinthe:

Words keep getting in front of her boobs. She needs to work on that.

Straight Line of the Day: If Prostitution Is Legalized, and the DMV Is Put in Charge of It…

Welcome to IMAO! No Matter How Much You Hated the Guy, Please Pick Up After Your Dog

Cartoons and Mems

“Miss Welch are you all right? Hardly seems a very comfortable position.”

“Just trying out my new Joe Biden impersonation. ‘Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!'”

“I know I can.”

“Can what sir?”

“Get up.”

“I hope you can see how hard I am rolling my eyes.”

“I hope you can’t see how…”

“Don’t go there sir.”

“Well then give us the winner and new Memes please.”

Winner

10.

What’s up for this week.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Which one is funniest?
68 votes · 68 answers