All We Are Saying Is: Be Careful Out There

Judge Will Not Reduce $2 Million Bail for Taylor Schabusiness in Beheading Case
Yahoo! News | 5/9/23

A Green Bay woman charged with killing and decapitating a man in February 2022 was in court Tuesday for a hearing to address various motions filed by attorneys in the case, including a request for another competency examination and to reduce bail.

Taylor Schabusiness, 25, is charged with first-degree intentional homicide, mutilating a corpse and third-degree sexual assault for the February 2022 death of Shad Thyrion, 24, of Green Bay. She is accused of choking Thyrion to death with a metal chain and cutting off his head with a knife after the pair used methamphetamine and other drugs and had sex, police said.

A man’s got to ask himself: will you be flying Coach, First Class, or Schabusiness?

{Whistle Blows} “It’s The Weekend! Let’s Grab a Bud Light, Girls!”

The Girl And The Gun?

Machine Gun Stolen From Shooting Range in Texas
Truth About Guns | 5/8/23 | Jeremy S.

Last Friday, an HK MP5 machine gun was stolen from LoneStar Handgun, a shooting range in Bexar County, Texas.

According to the KENS5 news video, “the [shooting range] owner fears it could end up in the wrong hands.” Um, yes, I think that ship has sailed with the person who knowingly stole the gun when the range employee’s back was turned.

The female shooting range customer rented a handgun, did a little shooting, then came back to the counter and asked to rent the MP5. She then apparently left with it.

Nothin’ like a true-blue belt-fed babe . . . wearing Daisy-Cutter Dukes.

Washington Post Establishes That There Is a Pony Soldier Who Has a Face Somewhat Akin to a Dog, Proving the President Wasn’t Totally Demented Until Now

Hey Bobby: It’s Easy To Birth a Baby; It’s Tough To Be a Father

Robert De Niro, 79, Says He ‘Just Had a Baby,’ His Seventh Kid
Daily News | May 9, 2023 | Dan Clarendon

Robert De Niro now has a septet of children. When an interviewer mentioned De Niro’s “six kids” recently, the two-time Oscar winner had a late-breaking update: “Seven, actually.”

“I just had a baby,” De Niro added in the ET Canada interview, which was published online on Monday.

There’s no word on the newborn’s name or age or the partner with whom he became a dad again.

The “Raging Bull” star has six other kids with three former partners, per People. With his first wife, Diahnne Abbott, he has daughter Drena, 51, and son Raphael, 46. With ex-girlfriend Toukie Smith he has twin sons Julian and Aaron, 27. And with his second wife, Grace Hightower, he has son Elliot, 24, and daughter Helen, 11.

Little League or dance recitals, campouts, and parent/teacher conferences oughta be a hoot.

Teaching the kid to ride a bike when you’re in a walker.

Having the kid read “Cat in the Hat” to you.

He just condemned this kid to a life without a dad.

FBI FISA Notice 01-6607

ExecSumm: Oppo spoke mean about our puppet yesterday. From now on, Oppo has been replaced by Special Agent {redacted}.

Special Agent {redacted}: clean this up before publishing. Suggested:

“Hey, guys! Feel free to tell Special Agent {redacted} what insurgency you want him to join in on. That is all.”

“Hey, how about them Babesleaga babes, chum mates? Breasts?”

— A.I.

Note to Special Agent {redacted}: cross-check search terms breasts, hips, thighs, MaryAnn, and Walrus.

What the hell’s an emu?

Lunch: Mar-a-Lago after we kick those {redacted} out.

Nascar. The Military. Gillette. The NFL. The Salvation Army. Budweiser. What Do They Have Their Sites on Next?

John Deere?

Remington?

Coleman Stoves?

My puppy?

Ah, I Hope This Is True

And I Hope They Stay There

Migrant Bus Arrives at Kamala Harris’s Home Ahead of Title 42 End
truthpress | 5/11/2023

A bus carrying immigrants from Texas arrived at Vice President Kamala Harris’s residence hours before Title 42 was set to expire.

The 30 men, women, and children arrived at the home of the vice president on Thursday morning and were received by the organization SAMU First Response and Mutual Aid.

This bus was the second one to arrive at the Naval Observatory in under 24 hours. The first bus carried almost 40 people, according to NBC Washington.

“Many on the bus told me they were from Venezuela,” a reporter for NBC News wrote on social media.

“This morning, a group of about 30 migrants – men, women and children – arrived outside the Vice President’s residence here in Washington DC on a bus sent from Texas.

Many on the bus told me they were from Venezuela. @nbcnews pic.twitter.com/YaZiX4LxVM

— Gary Grumbach (@GaryGrumbach) May 11, 2023″

It is not the first time buses carrying migrants have arrived at Harris’s residence. One of three buses carrying migrants to Washington, D.C., arrived at Harris’s house on Christmas Eve last year. The Migrant Solidarity Mutual Aid Network was on hand to transport the immigrants to a local church and provide them with proper resources.

Darn it.

The buses arrived hours ahead of the end of Title 42, a policy enacted under the Trump administration which allowed Border Patrol to expel immigrants without granting them an asylum hearing. Title 42 was enacted in March 2020 as a precaution during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Straight Line of the Day: Things You Won’t Find at Your Local Biker Bar

Welcome to IMAO! We’ve Finally Found the Perfect Place To Hang That Picture of Wallpaper

Friday Classic Funny

“Ah Miss Derek we seem to be missing something.”

“Sorry sir, just no cartoons this week I’m afraid.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes, was there something else?”

“Errr, no, no. Nothing comes to mind.”

“I’m afraid we have to make do with some classic Rodney Dangerfield.”

“Huh? What? Sorry, I was distracted. Proceed.”

In the Town They’re Searching For Him Everywhere, But He Never Will Be Found

Emu Still on the Run in Illinois
My Stateline | 10 May 2023 | Jack Baudoin

URBANA, Ill. (WTVO) — A missing emu in Central Illinois is still on the run.

Illinois State Police tried to catch the animal on I-74 in Urbana on Tues day, but it got away.

Experts said that it is going to be hard to catch the emu if they do not have the right resources. The bird can run as fast as 30 miles per hour, and it is in wide open space right now. The emu is believed to have been on the lam since September. Experts said that it is not surprising it has survived this long, but residents should not approach if they see it.