News You Can’t Use

Unless you find yourself in this guy’s situation:

Florida Cop, Pregnant Woman Arrested After Joint Beatdown of Man Dating Them Both, Police Say
Too Fab | 6/2/2023

Miami-Dade Police Officer Anna Elicia Perez found herself in handcuffs last week after she and a pregnant woman allegedly confronted and beat up a man who was dating them both, say local authorities.

The alleged incident went down at Miller’s Ale House in Palmetto Bay last Friday, after Perez, 34, and Mila Zuloaga, 35, apparently discovered their unnamed boyfriend was seeing them both. Both women reportedly thought they were in monogamous relationships with the victim, while Zuloaga is seven months pregnant and lives with him.

. . . they both confronted him at the sports bar. …

“The officer and pregnant woman intentionally struck the victim on the face and upper body with their hands multiple times,” the report continued. “The victim sustained redness to the face and a small bruise to the lower lip.”

News You Can Use (Part 2)

Avoid Norway, too.

Their Prime Minister is named Jonas Gahr Støre.

And these are what their protestors look like:

News You Can Use

In Other Words: Stay Out of India

Arikomban: Rampaging Killer Elephant Claims 11th Victim in India
Yahoo Singapore | 30 May 2023 | Barney Davis

A “killer” elephant has reportedly claimed its eleventh victim, an auto-rickshaw driver, after rampaging through Indian villages.

The elephant has reportedly killed 11 people and destroyed 300 houses and shops across the southern Indian states of Kerala and Tamil Nadu in recent years.

Arikomban, translated to “rice tusker”, was named by locals can after his fondness raiding rice shops.

He has been caught several times and relocated to nature reserves but activists have fought to free him.

Straight Line of the Day: If Heavy Ice Can Detour Icebreakers Due to Global Warming, Then…

Heavy Ice Forces New Russian Icebreaker on Long Southerly Voyage
Legion | May 24, 2023 | Stephen J. Thorne

Latest Arctic challenges illustrate the difficulties in predicting climate change effects.

Just like the continued existence of the world “illustrates the difficulties in predicting the end of the world.”

Russia’s newest icebreaker—an 82-metre, 4,000-ton naval vessel—has joined its Pacific fleet off the Kamchatka peninsula, just across the Bering Sea from Alaska. But the route the Yevpatii Kolovrat navigated in mid-May has raised some eyebrows.

Instead of traversing Arctic waters from the St. Petersburg shipyard where it was built, the ship sailed out into the Atlantic and south to the Mediterranean Sea. It then passed through the Suez Canal and crossed the Indian Ocean into the Philippine Sea before it arrived at its home port in Petropavlovsk in the North Pacific. The route is easily twice as long as the northern passage to Kamchatka.

Why would Russia’s newest icebreaker not sail the Arctic waters for which it was intended? The answer: heavy ice.

Data from the Russian Arctic and Antarctic Research Institute showed a thick layer of sea ice covering Russian Arctic waters in early May. In the Laptev and East Siberian seas, two belts of multi-year ice were considered impassable, even by the vaunted Russian ship named for a 13th century war hero.

And, to save the Global Warming scam, an invented statistic, followed by a moving of goalposts:

Canada’s federal auditor general reported in November 2022 that average summer sea-ice coverage in the Canadian Arctic had dropped by about 40 per cent in the last 50 years due to climate change, but lately it has been longstanding sea ice, not the seasonal variety that comes and goes, that has impeded Arctic traffic.

Welcome to IMAO! Weird Al and Weirder Alina Are In the House, Too!

SI Swimsuit Madness : Results and Round 1 Matches 11 & 12

So happy it’s unofficially summer, time for some fun! We have the results of the last group of round one matches and the next two up. Enjoy.

Round 1 Match 9

Chase Carter 136 Defeats Caroline Marks 77

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
83 votes

Round 1 Match 10

Christen Harper 208 Defeats Chrissy Tiegen 18

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
85 votes

Round 1 Match 11

Christie Valdeserri vs Clair Bidez

Christie Valdeserri

VS

Clair Bidez

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
103 votes

Round 1 Match 12

Danielle Herrington vs Dominique Piek

Danielle Herrington

VS

Dominique Piek

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
100 votes