Friday Night Open Thread

Been holding back anything on your mind?

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Follow the Scions: Chelsea Clinton Advises Boys To “Identify as Privileged Female Offspring, Because That Can Overcome a Lot of Other Deficiencies”

Shokin Aww

Alternate title: “Shokin the Monkey.”

Are there any other puns on “Shokin”?

Joe Biden allegedly paid $5M by Burisma executive as part of a bribery scheme, according to FBI document
Fox News  | June 8, 2023 | Brooke Singman

The Burisma executive explained to the confidential source that Burisma had to “pay the Bidens” because Ukrainian prosecutor Viktor Shokin was investigating Burisma, and explained how difficult it would be to enter the U.S. market in the midst of that investigation.

The confidential source further detailed that conversation, suggesting to the Burisma executive that he “pay the Bidens $50,000 each,” to which the Burisma executive replied, it is “not $50,000,” it is “$5 million.”

$5 million for one Biden, $5 million for the other Biden,” the Burisma executive told the confidential human source, according to a source familiar with the document.

The confidential source said the Burisma executive told him he “paid” the Bidens in such a manner “through so many different bank accounts” that investigators would not be able to “unravel this for at least 10 years.”

Biden has acknowledged that when he was vice president, he successfully pressured Ukraine to fire prosecutor Viktor Shokin. At the time, Shokin was investigating Burisma Holdings, and at the time, Hunter had a highly-lucrative role on the board receiving thousands of dollars per month. The then-vice president threatened to withhold $1 billion of critical U.S. aid if Shokin was not fired.

“I said, ‘You’re not getting the billion. I’m going to be leaving here in,’ I think it was about six hours. I looked at them and said: ‘I’m leaving in six hours. If the prosecutor is not fired, you’re not getting the money,’” Biden recalled telling then-Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko. Biden recollected the conversation during an event for the Council on Foreign Relations in 2018. 

“Well, son of a bitch, he got fired,” Biden said during the event. “And they put in place someone who was solid at the time.”

Straight Line of the Day: After Cancelling Students’ Debt, Biden Wants To…

Congress Repeals Biden Student Loan Debt Cancellation Plan; Tees up Presidential Veto
US News | 6/01/23 | Lauren Camera

“Today I voted to repeal the Biden Administration’s student loan cancellation proposal because we simply cannot afford to add another $400 billion to the national debt,” Manchin said in a statement. “There are already more than 50 existing student loan repayment and forgiveness programs aimed at attracting individuals to vital service jobs, such as teachers, health care workers and public servants. This Biden proposal undermines these programs and forces hard-working taxpayers who already paid off their loans or did not go to college to shoulder the cost.”

Welcome to IMAO! Hey, C’mon Man! Springtime Is Over, and The Fall Is Coming. Where You Going?

Friday Classis Funny

“Good morning Mr. Walrus, things are a bit scant today I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.”

“You don’t mind a short list of the Farside?”

“Oh that. No.”

Great, I’m filling with some classic Steven Wright.”

“Proceed.”