“Surprise Mr. Walrus, it’s me.”
“A most pleasant surprise, what brings you around?”
“I got some special memes from that nice Mr. Slapout. Shall we use them?”
“Sounds great, who won last week?”
“Coming right up sir!”
Winner
This week’s entries
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Peezy, perhaps.
The following is much funnier if you picture him wearing a Jackie-O dress and a tiara:
US CEO of Bud Light Maker Tells Customers ‘We Hear You’ After Brand Loses Best-Selling American Beer Crown
Business Insider | 6-16-23 | Grace MayerThe US CEO of Bud Light’s owner, Anheuser-Busch, released a statement outlining steps the company is taking to alleviate backlash the brand has faced over the last two months since a single promotion with a transgender influencer.
“Over the last two months, the discussion surrounding our company and Bud Light has moved away from beer, and this has impacted our consumers, our business partners, and our employees,” Brendan Whitworth wrote in the statement.
To alleviate the impacts Anheuser-Busch’s employees and business partners have faced, Whitworth said the company will provide financial assistance to the beer brand’s independent wholesalers that would support their employees.
Whitworth also directly addressed Bud Light’s customers: “We hear you. Our summer advertising launches next week, and you can look forward to Bud Light reinforcing what you’ve always loved about our brand – that it’s easy to drink and easy to enjoy.”
From 2020:
Media Meltdown Over Trump’s Suicide Warning Shows the Press Can’t Let Its Hatred Go
New York Post ^ | March 27, 2020 | Post Editorial BoardEven a pandemic can’t shock the media out of its blinding hostility to President Trump — witness this week’s absurd press eruption after he warned of a likely rise in suicides.
“People get tremendous anxiety and depression, and you have suicides over things like this when you have terrible economies,” Trump noted at a briefing, adding that he believes the isolation many Americans face thanks to social distancing will also lead to more mental-health issues.
There’s nothing incorrect — or even controversial — in those remarks. (Though Trump, sigh, went on to be more dramatic.) But media outlets that would normally echo any concern about higher mental-health risks proceed to be outraged.
The New York Times ran multiple pieces that called Trump’s claims “baseless” — despite its own past coverage.
“Increase Seen in U.S. Suicide Rate Since Recession” the paper reported in November 2012, summarizing a study from the medical journal Lancet that found the suicide rate rose four times faster from 2008 to 2010 than in the eight years before the Great Recession. “The finding was not unexpected. Suicide rates often spike during economic downturns,” the story noted.
The year before, in “Study Ties Suicide Rate in Work Force to Economy,” the paper cited similar statistics, noting the rate “has generally ridden the tide of the economy since the Great Depression, rising in bad times and falling in good ones, according to a comprehensive government analysis.”
The Times wasn’t alone in “debunking” Trump. ABC News reported: “Experts also say that there’s no evidence to suggest that the suicide rate will rise dramatically because people are stressed from losing their jobs” — near the top of a story that, nonetheless, later quoted an expert as noting, “The general fact that President Trump cited is, in fact, true that when economies contract suicides do go up.”
An Associated Press fact-check called Trump’s claim “baseless” and insisted suicide rates might “diminish”: “The even higher suicide rate seen during the Great Depression of the 1930s fell sharply with the onset of World War II.” Non-sequitur much, AP?
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This week:
CDC: Pandemic Brought Highest Rates of Teen Homicide, Young Adult Suicide Since 2001
The Hill | 06/15/2023 | Lauren SforzaThe homicide rate for older teenagers in the United States and the suicide rate for those in their early 20s rose during the pandemic to the highest it has been in at least 20 years, according to new research.
A new study published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) analyzed homicide and suicide rates among those ages 10-24 from 2001-21.
…
The largest annual increase between 2001-21 was in 2021, when suicide rates among those in their early 20s jumped 9 percent to 19.4 suicide deaths per 100,000.
Trust the science!
Biden mocked over ‘plans’ to build railroad ‘across the Indian Ocean’: ‘Bold initiative’
Fox News | June 15, 2023 | Andrew Mark MillerPresident Biden raised eyebrows on social media this week after appearing to reveal plans to build a railroad from the Pacific Ocean “across” the Indian Ocean.
“We have plans to build a railroad from the Pacific all the way across the Indian Ocean,” Biden told the League of Conservation Voters at their annual dinner in Washington, D.C., Wednesday night. “We have plans to build in Angola, one of the largest solar plants in the world. I could go on, but I’m not. I’m going off script. I’m going to get in trouble.”
