Cartoons and Memes

“What a beautiful night. I just want to roll in the hay. Roll, roll, roll…”

“May I join you?”

I didn’t know I was falling apart.”

“Err, yes. So, what have we got?”

“We got the memes sir, just the memes.”

“Well if that’s it, roll ’em out.”

Winner

8.

This week’s entries.

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Which one is funniest?
101 votes · 101 answers

Judge to Trump Lawyer: “Sit Down, Smart Guy; You’ll Get Your Chance!”

And Then, Of Course, There’s the Creepy Guy Trying Posing as Your Kids’ Creepy Uncle

Remarks by President Biden at a Campaign Reception | Freeport, ME | July 29, 2023

And secondly, to all the kids here, I want to make clear: If nothing hap- — after this is over, if you all come up, I’m going to give you some money to make your mom and dad to take you to Dairy Queen.  (Laughter.)  Okay?  All right?  Okay.  You all think I’m kidding; I’m not.  Can you imagine when you were 10 years old — “We’re going to go spend the afternoon — we’re going to get dressed to — come on, honey.”  Anyway, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now, see if you can follow any of this; but especially the “kidding” about the day he heard of his wife’s death:

And the third thing I’d like to say is that — you know, one of the reasons I’m still — it may — it may hurt his reputation, but all kidding aside, one of the reasons why I am still in politics was because of a Maine guy named Ed Muskie.  Not a joke.  (Applause.) 

Ed Muskie and Teddy Kennedy and the guy from South Carolina who was the United States senator [the KKK Grand Wizard, whose name he is now too cowardly to mention?] — because I had just been elected to the Senate.  I was 29 years old.  I wasn’t old enough to be sworn in.  I had to wait until I could be sworn in.  But I had to start to hire staff.

So, I was down in Washington using Teddy Kennedy’s Whip office so I could interview people.  And I got a phone call saying my wife and daughter had just been killed.  And — and so, I decided — my — my brother, who’s five years younger, was my finance chair.  And, by the way, I was listed, for 36 years, the poorest man in Congress.  So, he needed a lot of help.  (Laughter.) 

But all kidding aside, . . .

I’ve always thought of Maine as — it’s going to sound bizarre to say this, but as a virtuous place.  I’m not joking.  It was a place that everybody seemed to have sort of just basic — they disagreed.  Like a young woman — I was just — did an event — a speaking event in Maine. 

So, I think of Maine like I used to think of my state, where everybody knows everybody.  And, you know, there’s an old joke: You know, be careful what you say, they may be related.  (Laughter.)

 I had just lost my son.  He — he died because of being — sleeping next to a burn pit for a year and — in — in Baghdad.  And he was a decorated soldier.  He — Conspicuous Service medal, the Bronze Star, attorney general of the state of Delaware.  Presumptuous of me to say this: He should be the one talking to you today, not me.  He was quite — he was attorney general of the state.

My point is that, you know, there’s a lot going on.  Name me a part of the world that you think is going to look like it did 10 years ago 10 years from now — not a joke. 

All right, last quote. Fix yourself a nice drink, sit down, and contemplate this being our president:

I said, ‘What do you need most?’  They said, ‘We need a better-educated public.’  I said, “What the heck are you doing about it?  Why you oppose my dealing with investing more money in preschool?”

Not — on third grade thr- — three years old, going to school — not daycare, school.  All the studies show — the Harvard, Stanford studies shows it increased by 57 percent, no matter what the background the child comes from, their ability to get through 12 years of school or not.  (Applause.)  What’s the problem?

And by the way, they’re beginning to help.  It’s self-interest.

But my generic point is simple: that there’s so much available to us as a country — so much available to us.  We just got to remember who in the Lord’s name we are. 

We’re in a situation where if you take a look at what we’ve done around the world — you know, you take a look at — does anybody think that the post-war eras still exist, the rules of the road from the end of World War Two? 

I’m — I’m — I’m being deadly earnest.  It’s not hyperbole, just direct statement.  It doesn’t. 

George Floyd Protesters Ask Cops To “Do Something — Anything” So They Can Upgrade Their Out-of-Date Entertainment Systems Ahead of Christmas

Woman of the People, Kamala Harris, Makes a Joke That Garbagemen, Janitors, Stewardesses, and Grease Monkeys Can Appreciate

I’ve visited with some of these innovative small businesses.  And, you know, it was interesting.  I met with one young innovator who was talking about how he was setting up this company to actually work on electric vehicles and electric batteries.  And I said, “Well, tell me about the people who are working with you.”  And he said, “Well, they are — we — we refer to them as technicians.”  I said, “You mean mechanics?”  (Laughs.) 

Remarks by Vice President Harris Highlighting the Impacts of Bidenomics and Announcing Increasing Support for Small Businesses | August 4, 2023

Biden Aides Refuse To Let Biden Discuss Military Coup in West Africa Due to Fears Biden Will Misread Teleprompter

US Stands To Lose Another “Vital African Ally” as Niger Military Ousts President
amsterdamnews.com | August 3, 2023

Straight Line of the Day: Another Truth We Hold To Be Self-Evident: …

Welcome to IMAO! Barack Obama Assures Supporters That His Career Is Going Fine

Unexpectedly, his tribute to his chef is — well, frankly, just too soon.