I Was Going To Call This Some Sort of Meta ™ Humor, But I Guess It Already Is

Not from the Babylon Bee:

Zoom Tells Employees To Return to Office for Work
NyPost | 08/05/2023 | Patrick Reilly

Zoom is asking all of its employees to return to the office for the first time since the COVID-19 pandemic began, when the tech company blew up as one of the main means of communication for people forced to work from home.

Zoom, which remains a leader in the post-pandemic remote work trend, is now asking all employees within 50 miles of a company office to go in at least two days a week on a hybrid schedule.

Kind of like a taxi company telling workers to work from home.

Or the Congressional Ethics Committee.

Dianne Feinstein Collapses Into a Pile of Dust on Senate Floor; Democrats Sweep It Under the Rug

Media Chastises IMAO For Mentioning It in Non-Elegiac Tone

Take That, Weird Al! Promoted Song

To adapt a Seinfeld phrase, we’ve got so much song-mocking hand that we’re coming out of our gloves!

Thanks to Kinda Sorta Bob B-like Bot:

Where can you see a dunder
Scam the world for plunder,
Sell secret technology,
And make those Chinese Commie dreams all come true?
On the land or on the sea
Make use of the Big Lie
Play with words and trip, live.
Boost Hunter, for a fee
Just pick up the Slimline
Then sit off on the sideline
When your son and others meet

[Chorus]
With young Navy
Yes, you can bilk the Red Chinese
With young Navy
Yes, you can transfer funds at ease
With young Navy
He’ll fool the people ‘bout this jam
With young Navy, through young Navy
Can’t ever track the latest scam

She’s a Biden
Fin’lly confess the obvious fact
Yes, a Biden!
There’s one less thing they can attack
We’re all Bidens,
Con people with fake money trails
‘Cause we’re Bidens, yes, we’re Bidens, sleazy Bidens…

Then there’s a lot of dancing. No video available.

Straight Line of the Day: A Wise Man Once Said…

Welcome to IMAO! Hey, Wait, Frank: That Isn’t a Telescope, Is It?

(At least it isn’t a repeat.)

SI Swimsuit Madness : Rd 2 Matches 35 & 36 Results : Rd 1 Matches 17 &18

Hello all. We have now concluded the first 16 contestants through rounds one and two. Results of the last two matches are below. Today begins the next 16 contestants. New faces, new fun. Also, with Mr. Walrus going on vacay these new matches will be open througn August 22nd. Enjoy.

Results

Round 2 Match 35

Genie Bouchard 112 Defeats Erin Willerton 90

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
84 votes

Round 2 Match 36

Gigi Hadid 114 Defeats Hailey Kalil 73

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
81 votes

Round 1 Match 17

Hilary Rhoda vs Hyunjoo Hwang

Hilary Rhoda

VS

Hyunjoo Hwang

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
79 votes

Round 1 Match 18

Irina Shayk

VS

Jasmine Sanders

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
80 votes