Spider With Erection-Inducing Bite Shuts Down Supermarket, But Owners Insist Store Is Safe To Reopen
https://www.fox26houston.com | August 11, 2023 | Peter AitkenAn Austrian supermarket reopened following a three-day closure to clear the store due to an alleged sighting of a spider with a deadly bite that could also cause an hourslong erection.
The Penny Markt in Krems an der Donau closed Tuesday after the store manager spotted the spider in a banana box and immediately called the fire brigade to investigate.
The manager described the spider as about 4 inches long and colored black and red. The authorities initially suspected it was a banana spider, but previous cases of spiders in bananas from South America have identified the spider specifically as the Brazilian Wandering Spider.
Dr. Fauci: “Trust me on this one. If you are bitten by this spider take 2 viagras immediately as an antidote.”
Spider man
Spider man
Sexually active
Spider man
…
The rest of the song is really too gross to sing in mixed company.
Clearly value added service on behalf of the Brazilians. How else are they expected to keep the bananas from getting mushy during shipment?
Honestly, I didn’t know the Austrian men found spiders all that attractive.
But now that I think about it. Makes sense.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sprockets_(Saturday_Night_Live)
The market has been inundated with hordes of older Austrian men…
Arnold Schwarzenegger said he’ll be back…
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Pfizer (headquartered in Vienna) stocks are up.
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Peter Parker hates competition.
Took that long to get Bill Clinton to leave the store.
Meh. We have a bunch of interns who can do the same and they dont even have to bite you.
Miss Welch doesn’t even have to show up in person — just send in a photo.
That’s extra.
Well I guess that wasn’t a banana in his pocket.
Where does the spider have to bite you?
Just asking.
For a friend.
So the guy shows up at the “Check This Out” Lane?
Banana spider. Get it?
Apparently he got caught for his bragging yodel…” I’ll diddle your old lady too..”