“Help Me, Jesus!”: Snake Falls Out of Sky, Lands on Woman, Then Both Attacked by a Hawk
Click2Houston | 8/5/23 | Andrea SlaydonA snake fell out of the sky and landed on a woman mowing her yard.
The bizarre incident didn’t stop there. Peggy Jones was then attacked by a hawk.
Jones was on her tractor mowing at her home in Silsbee, near Beaumont on Tuesday afternoon. She describes how suddenly a snake fell on her, wrapping around her arm.
“The snake was squeezing so hard, and I was waving my arms in the air. And then, this hawk was swooping down clawing at my arm over and over,” explains Peggy Jones. “I just kept saying, ‘Help me, Jesus, Help me, Jesus.’’
I’ve never yet seen it rain cats and dogs but I have seen it rain down snakes.
… Instagram exploded with mansplainers telling her how she should have reacted…
. . . a DNC vote harvester came by with pre-filled out ballots for the hawk and the snake
… the DOJ preferred charges against her for abuse of protected species…
Little did she know that it was Jesus that sent the snake and the hawk to stop her from mowing over the ground wasp nest with her tractor.
Heard from the heavens: “ME! I’m doing my best here, lady!”
… she was sued by the Mexican government for misappropriating their flag image…
… Buddha came over to calm her down after the trauma.
A walrus riding an emu tried to run her down.
I thought maybe this was in Des Plaines. As they had enough F’ing snakes in Des Plaines.
I see what you did there….
She had a “Don’t Tread On Me Tramp Stamp”
…she was helped by a Mexican landscaper named… Carlos.
-but Carlos was sent by Jesus. Jesus is the name of his boss.
To Make This Woman’s Day Even More Bizarre, PETA filed two seperate lawsuits against the woman. Suit one alleges neglect as she failed to protect a clearly scared snake that was desperately clinging to her for safety. Suit 2 alleges animal cruelty for taking food away from the hawk and then taunting it with the food.
To Make This Woman’s Day Even More Bizarre, …
It was Snake Pliskin and Hawk Newsome.
Her husband, Henry, was quoted saying that’s why he doesn’t mow the lawn… it’s too dangerous. -As he was being chased by an angry tribe of Hovitos.
Unfortunately all three were taken out with an IED carried by some guy hollaring Allah Ackbar…