Ability to ease someone out of the office when they start blathering: “Well, look, two things. One, I’ve taken three significant and in- — intense neurological exams by the neurolo- — by our neurosur- — a neurologist. In each case — as recently as February, and they say I’m in good shape. Okay? …
“… I remember when the staff — and I said, ‘I’m going to go to South Korea and we’re going to get the chip.’ ‘And what are you doing?'”
… to start with something easier, like brokering a peace treaty in Gaza, or settling the unrest in the WNBA…
….filled with pot holes.
… and a LePetomaine tollbooth.
I’m already on my way back to town for a s—t load of dimes.
Ownership of multiple college women’s dormitories to ensure a steady supply of qualified interns.
…kissing ass.
… mastery of Team Building exercises.
… mastery of “Third and Final Warnings” regarding Team Building exercises.
… turning a blind eye to Walrus/intern interactions.
Ability to ease someone out of the office when they start blathering: “Well, look, two things. One, I’ve taken three significant and in- — intense neurological exams by the neurolo- — by our neurosur- — a neurologist. In each case — as recently as February, and they say I’m in good shape. Okay? …
“… I remember when the staff — and I said, ‘I’m going to go to South Korea and we’re going to get the chip.’ ‘And what are you doing?'”
… surprisingly void of interns
Show up and claim to be the new head of HR. Nobody will question you, especially if you have a nameplate on your desk.
Getting Selma Hayek to step down from the position.
….strewn with land mines.