I don’t always post serious things. Laughs and cute chicks are my turn ons but I saw this video and had to share with you all. It is worth a watch all the way through and explains, perhaps, much of what we are witnessing in the world today. Please feel free to comment below.

I am sure by now that everyone is aware of the Iran “nuclear deal”, which basically says “g’ahead Iran, spin them centrifuges”, and how that doesn’t sound like a deal at all but a capitulation by the US. But, I guess the Obama administration thinks it’s a good idea for Iran to enrich uranium, seeing as it’s only fair since the US can enrich all of the uranium we want, amiright?

Well, except the US can’t enrich any uranium. I mean zero, nadda, null. The US currently has no domestic uranium enrichment capabilities. I bet few Americans actually knew that.

For many decades up until a few years ago, the US enriched its own uranium for commercial and national security use using the old Manhattan Project era gas diffusion method. I don’t want to get too detailed about it, but it’s old tech and very inefficient. The US plan? Do what everyone else in the world is doing and research using gas centrifuges. But us being America, we gotta make ’em bigger and better than anyone else’s.

So the Carter administration actually started the ball rolling on such a program and in the 1980s the government built a facility next to the Department of Energy’s operating gas diffusion plant in Piketon, OH. Research and development continued and lots of centrifuges spun until the DOE pulled the plug in 1985. The facility was mothballed and the US uranium enrichment future looked bleak.

In the 1990s, the Clinton administration and Congress directed the DOE to privatize their enrichment operations. USEC Inc., the company formed from this, then began to look earnestly at the old centrifuge facility and started cleanup and rennovation. By the late 2000s, they had centrifuges spinning again, albeit a much smaller amount compared to the original program. Unable to gain enough investors due to a shaky uranium market (where all other enrichment operators were fully or partially state owned), the DOE’s unwillingness to authorize a loan guarantee, and the permenant shutdown of the last US enrichment operation, USEC filed Chapter 11 and was renamed Centrus Energy, while it’s shares were shuffled around to creditors.

Certain folks in government got nervous about this, namely the NNSA and quite a few congress members, and decided it would be in our national security interest to keep the centrifuges running and testing continuing, so that they could finance building several cascades for NNSA use in the near future when funding was available and the details worked out. So the DOE and ORNL, along with Congress, began funding the project last year setting a lot of technical milestones (which were all met), while the NNSA discussed their plans for several cascades of centrifuges for their use.

On September, 11 of this year (seriously), the DOE announced that they were no longer going to fund the centrifuges at Piketon, OH after the end of the month and would only fund research and design activities on a much smaller scale in Oak Ridge, TN, effectively shutting down the US’s own uranium gas centrifuge program for the second time.

As the title says, I am not making this up. The Obama administration is basically saying Iran should run uranium centrifuges, but we can’t afford to, even if by not doing so we are putting ourselves at risk of losing our nuclear capabilities in the future.

What we really can’t afford to do is not enrich our own uranium, while at the same time allowing Iran to do so.

I know everyone is going to call me a bigot and say I’m on the wrong side of history, but it still needs to be said: the Mutant Registration Act just makes sense.

I know the left are always going on about how mutants are being discriminated against and questioning them at all makes us basically evil racists, but the left’s position on this issue makes absolutely no sense. Right now, if a kid in school so much as draws a picture of a gun, the cops get called. But if there is a kid in class with mutant exploding powers who could easily kill everyone in the classroom — either maliciously or accidentally — then we’re all Nazis for saying, “Hey, maybe we should reevaluate whether that kid should be in the same class as everyone else.” Not only that, we’re bigots for wanting to even know about that kid. How does this make any sense? I guess dead school children is better than “discrimination.”

And it’s not like these mutant powers are the same as someone walking around with a concealed gun like millions of Americans do and not necessarily harming anyone; no, they’re actively using them. Many of the mutants are in this paramilitary organization — the X-Men — and flying around in military-grade hardware to “fight evil.” Some of us think that maybe — just maybe — the government should watch these people. And of course we get called racists for this basic common sense.

And it really seems like we’re not being told the truth about these mutants. When we ask how they got these fantastical powers, we’re basically told they were just born with them and to shut up. I mean, what is the official explanation of mutants? Evolution. Really? I guess it makes a little sense for that one mutant from Canada to have to evolve self-healing powers in response to socialized medicine, but how does evolution explain being able to shoot lasers out your eyes or to be able to control the weather? Do they think we haven’t had high school biology and don’t know how natural selection works? You don’t just suddenly go in one generation from normal human to blue guy who can teleport himself. Demon possession is closer to being a scientific explanation of their powers than evolution is.

So that’s why I support the Mutant Registration Act. It just makes sense, and we can’t trust these mutants with their obvious lies about how they got their powers. And if we don’t have the Mutant Registration Act, let’s at least make things more fair; the left supports fairness, don’t they? So now, every American should be able to own machine guns and bazookas without having to register them (and if anyone asks where we got them, they’ll just have to accept the explanation of “evolution”). Now normal Americans will be more on par with the mutants. And if you see a bunch of guys with weaponry get in a helicopter and fly off somewhere, just assume they’re going to battle evil and don’t question them.

Actually, I just talked myself into that. Forget the Mutant Registration Act. Let’s go with the everyone gets machine guns and bazookas and the government doesn’t question us idea. That sounds awesome.

Now THIS is a great-great-great grandmother worth bragging about.

Bernie Quigley excused Elizabeth Warren’s pathetic lie about her Native American heritage, saying “It is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth; the fabric of old-soul American consciousness.”

Ridiculous.

Americans are winners. The Indians lost.

Nothing to be ashamed of, though. Americans can at least respect tough fighters. That’s why – even after 40 years of the Cold War – liquor stores still sold “vodka” instead of “All-American Tater Whiskey.” With Native Americans, we honor their relentless spirit with our sports team names, like “Indians” and “Redskins” and “Chiefs.” There’s a reason you’ll never see a team called “Hippies”, or “Biebers”, or “National Organization for Women.”

Warren might as well brag about being 1/32 Chicago Cub.

But if she wanted to just make something up based on “old-soul American consciousness,” why not embrace her inner cowboy? They successfully tamed a land while providing its citizens with tasty steaks. Plus they invented the silver bullet, which has kept our great nation werewolf-free for over 150 years.

Or why not 1/32 Chinese? They built railroads, kept our laundry sparkling white (using their powerful ancient Chinese secrets) and discovered the fold-top cardboard take-out food container.

Yeah, yeah, I know – a woman without brown eyes or straight, black hair claiming to be Chinese… who’d believe THAT?

Harvard, I suppose.

Bunch of losers. Haven’t been to a Rose Bowl since 1920. Might as well be the Cubs.

This originally appeared in the New York Post.

At some point, we are going to have to face the fact that we’re never going to deal with the serious problems in our county. The economy is still faltering, our debt seems insurmountable, gas prices are out of control, and terrorists are still trying to blow us up with their underwear. So what’s the big issue dominating the presidential race right now? Gay marriage.

I have noticed a few things about the problems we face. They are all a great threat to our way of life, they all must be handled right away, and they are all extremely boring. I mean, most of these are the exact same problems we dealt with back in the ‘70s — no one solved them then, because they were distracted by the president being a bitten by a rabbit. We’d love some fun new problems (“The polar ice caps are going to melt if we don’t change our light bulbs!”), but instead we’re stuck with these old stale ones. And while we all understand it’s imperative that we tackle these problems, as soon as we try to sit down and focus on them, we find out teenage Mitt Romney cut some guy’s hair, and we want to spend all our time discussing that.

I’m starting to worry that maybe we are no longer even physically capable of focusing on the real threats to our nation. In olden times, people had long attention spans for boring things like debt problems, because all they had were tedious black-and-white movies with no CGI, and all the kids had to play with were sticks and rocks. We have advanced technology and entertainment now, so we just can’t pay attention to the important things for long enough anymore (I’m checking Twitter on my smartphone as I write this). And it’s been going on for some time. Based on news coverage, one of the biggest political events of my lifetime was when the Vice President misspelled “potato”.

And it’s not like we can leave it to the politicians to solve our problems, because they’re not any better. When President Obama took office, he saw the joblessness and faltering economy and said, “I don’t feel like dealing with that; I’ve got this fun new health care plan.” What a fun time we had quarrelling about that one — it really took our minds off the skyrocketing unemployment.

Republicans are no help either. They keep repeating to themselves, “Just focus on the economy and jobs!” but then some social issue pops up, and they can’t help themselves, because if there is one thing the right and the left agree on this country, it’s that social issues are fun to pointlessly argue about. And what’s great is that we’ll always be able to argue about them, because they never get solved.

So what do we do? Our real problems are boring, but we wouldn’t mind dealing with them if we could come up with fun solutions to them that involve explosions and kung fu fighting. Except there aren’t any. It’s all mind-numbing budget stuff, and my eyes are glazing over just thinking about it. Maybe we’ll just have to put Ritalin in the water the way we add fluoride to maybe help us all focus. Because otherwise the only time our economy and the national debt will be interesting enough to hold our attention is when the country has already collapsed. That will really grab everyone’s interest, because you’ve seen how popular all those zombie apocalypse shows and movies are. I’ll bet when the government falls, the nation will divide into smaller regions ruled by warlords. I could totally be one of those. I have a shotgun, and I could make a scary-looking metal mask to wear all the time. And I’d come up with a cool name like “The Decimator.” It would be awesome.

Wait. What was I talking about? Did you hear Obama ate a dog?

Back before Bill Whittle became a PJ Media video star, he had a blog called Eject! Eject! Eject!, which was the oddest site in the entire blogosphere.

Bill would post absolutely nothing for weeks at at time, then he’d post an essay about as long as a Stephen King novel, but it was so incredibly brilliant that EVERYONE would duct tape their kids to the couch and throw their phones out the window so that they could read it straight through without interruption.

IMAO reader Hunter [High Praise!] wrote something recently that reminded me of that, and he asked me to post it, which I do with great pleasure.

Yes, it’s long.

Yes, you’ll wish it were longer.

Duct tape. Kids. Couch. Phone. Window. Enjoy.

______________

My Presidential Address to a Special Joint Session of Congress Regarding the Federal Budget

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen,

I am here on behalf of my fellow Americans to speak to you tonight about wrath,

about fury,

about betrayal,

and about blood.

Although the names change over time, and regardless that some members may rightly plead personal innocence, this body together with the office I am now privileged to hold have, within the last few decades, betrayed the public trust, and by acts both of commission and omission have fostered upon the hardworking and honest citizens of this country the greatest financial calamity known to human history.

How dare I call this the greatest financial calamity, when we do not have to push wheelbarrows full of cash to the store to purchase bread, and the bills in our wallets are not printed in denominations of trillions? I dare because I’m speaking in terms of real dollar values, of total assets, of real wealth and actual things, not in percentages of GDP.

It is well known that on numerous occasions in human history entire civilizations have been destroyed. People have been wiped out, their possessions carted away to far-off lands as spoils of war. With their economies, along with everything else, 100% eradicated, and yet with our lights still on, our ability to fill up our cars with gas, and food on our grocer’s shelves, how can I make such a comparison? I make it because in recent decades we’ve been able to lose the equivalent of a prior empire’s wealth and keep the power flowing, our cars running, and our bellies full.

That may start to give you an idea about how wealthy we are. We are the wealthiest country that has ever existed, by far. By. Far.

For example, our technological wealth alone allows the poorest of our poor privileges enjoyed by no emperor in antiquity. And we are blessed by far more than our technological wealth alone.

Our wealth of medical knowledge allows a significant percentage of our population whom nature would have already slain had we lived in our grandparents’ generation, myself included, to happily survive and thrive. And our survival and ability to thrive is bolstered by far more than just our medical knowledge alone.

Continue reading ‘Any President Who Gave This Speech Would Win In a Landslide’ »

I used to really hate Al Qaeda, then I cowered in fear of them and tried to appease them, but now they’ve gone too far and the hate is back again. I’m so full of boiling rage that my skin is starting to turn green and I swear I just heard my shirt rip.

Right after 9/11, I was pissed that lunatic Allah worshippers killed Americans on our own soil. But after these Jokers-without-makeup started killing people for drawing cartoons – CARTOONS! – I figured maybe I should just roll over like a whipped dog before those bat@#$% crazies started looking my way.

So I stopped shaving, changed my name to Al-Harvey, started wearing funny hats, threw a flour sack over my wife, and did my Pilates 5 times a day on a fancy imported rug. I even replaced that Bible under the short leg of the couch with a Koran. Figured I was good to go.

Just to be EXTRA safe, though, I voted for Obama, because all my new Muslim overlords – from Islamic State of Iraq leader Abu Omar al-Baghdadi to Hamas to Ahmadinejad – told me that’s who they wanted as President.

Well, now that I’ve sold out my party, my nation and my soul, it turns out that they’re STILL not happy! Ayman Al-Zawahri (leader of Al-Qaeda ever since Osama got turned into a Tora Bora bloodstain back in 2002) says Barack is just a “house Negro” with a “heart full of hate” and that terrorists now “must continue to harm [America], in order for it to come to its senses”.

I don’t get it. You terrorized me in good faith, and I capitualted faster than Micheal Moore’s diet on National Free Donut Day. I thought we had a deal.

Apparently they have altered the deal. I pray they do not alter it further.

But if they do, well, I have enough guns & ammo to start my own religion in Texas.

And I have a couple dogs.

Bring it on.

—

Harvey is a non-disabled Navy veteran accidentally hired to fill an affirmative action quota at IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as “Don’t Be A Pussy: Thompson/Norris 2012” and “Bowing Towards Mecca So I Can Moon It From The Other Direction” (with Enani Si Malsi).

 I’m Barack Obama! I’m running for president. You should vote for me. I’m a new politician. Remember when M&Ms came out with blue M&Ms and you ran to the store yelling, “Yay! A brand new candy!”? Well, I’m just like that. I’m a brand new politician. I promise hope and change. No politician has ever promised that before. Also, my opponent is not new. I think pretty much everyone agrees he is a very old politician. Also, he might get angry and hit you. I heard that somewhere.

 But know what makes me newest and bestest? This is a secret, so you can’t tell anyone. Do you promise you’ll keep this just between you and me? You promise? Okay, here it is…

Continue reading ‘You Should Vote for Me
An Editorial by Senator Barack Obama’ »

I probably use a million things as a starting point for this post, but I might as well pick on Kevin Drum as he’s one of the few left-wing bloggers I still kinda like. I saw this through Hot Air, and it’s a post on how the blogosphere doesn’t have as much influence as it thinks (to me it’s like the internet bubble, for a while the blogosphere had influence simply because politicians believed it had influence). In the post, Drum agrees with the Democrats on ignoring the whining of the tykes at the Daily Kos and going on FOX News, but he also says this off-hand:

“Objecting to Fox hosting a Democratic debate is one thing: it really doesn’t make sense to have a Democratic event hosted by an obvious arm of the Republican Party.”

Another thing to fight against if real world problems are too scary.

Now, I’m not very old, but I still remember back when conservatives had pretty much nothing. There was a couple papers and the National Review, but those didn’t get much circulation outside of people who weren’t already conservative. The rest of the media was completely liberal.
Now, there are flat-earthers who will deny that the media is liberal despite all the surveys of journalists’ political leanings. I’ve never quite understood why its death to these people to admit liberal bias because that doesn’t imply liberalism is wrong. Maybe they just really want to believe their fringe beliefs (and liberals in America have always been a small minority and always smaller than conservatives) are mainstream.
Anyway, conservatives somehow kept on going. Reagan was even elected and reelected in these conditions because its hard to keep good ideas down even when they’re filtered through so much crap (and it’s not framing; you have to have ideas that appeal to humanity).
Then there was Limbaugh. Liberals freaked out. Conservatives had completely taken over one small, insignificant part of the media, and liberal fascists came out in full force. Now, most of them are at least self-aware enough not to try and just throw Rush Limbaugh off the air, so their efforts were more to marginalize him with things like the Fairness Doctrine. They also ridiculed him every chance they got. In fairness, he ridiculed them — it’s just his ridicule was more accurate while they attacked him for made up things like that the purpose of his call screener was to keep off people who disagreed with him and that Rush was a racist (he is a conservative).
Capitalism being what it is, it became obvious that people were starved for different media than the liberal crap that was available. So there was FOX News. I remember the first time I saw it and noticed something different. They had a positive story on gun ownership. My initial reaction was, “That’s blatantly right-wing!” Then I thought about it. A very significant portion of Americans are for gun ownership, but I had never seen a positive story on gun ownership in the news before. While such a story seemed right-wing in comparison to the other media, it was actually just balance and reflecting the viewpoints of America. The media was so horrible that something actually “fair and balanced” would appear right-wing.
As we all know, FOX News was a huge success, and has garnered hate and ridicule like no news station before it. Now, from our perspective, the liberals constantly complaining about FOX News is extremely silly. All the complaints they make about FOX News could be made ten fold of about any other news channel. Liberals object to FOX News being “a wing of the Republican Party” but the other news had been openly routing for Democrats for decades. It’s not even very right-wing; we just have it on all the time because we like to know the news and the other channels are just too irritatingly liberal for us to stand the condescension. So why would liberals complain when they have all the other media and even publicly funded liberal media like PBS and NPR which conservatives are forced to pay for?
I think I know the answer, and it’s not all that liberals are fascists who feel the need to crack down on anything that challenges their viewpoints (though, that is a part of it). Let’s reflect a moment on how unnatural FOX News is. If all the rest of the media was naturally liberal, then it took some intervention to make FOX News not so. It’s clearly artificial. If you look at it that way, you can somewhat understand liberals objections to it. Even if FOX News is really a fair and balanced channel (I see it as slightly right of moderate) it took very clear right-wing bias to move it to moderate from the liberalism it should naturally exist in. FOX News is a product of much more blatant right wing bias than other media is of left wing bias. None of the other channels went left wing to win viewers; they’re just there because journalists tend to be liberal idiots. It’s like a dog that doesn’t chase after squirrels. It’s in the dogs instinct to chase and to kill. It might be good for the dog not to chase, but the fact that it doesn’t points to that someone intervened on the dog’s behavior. Similarly, journalist like to educate the dumb folk in the fly over country about how liberal viewpoints are better. If journalists aren’t doing that, then someone obviously intervened.
So, FOX News is the product of right wing bias. Not only that, it is a threat to liberals. We can laugh off most of the liberal crap out there because it’s stupid and will only influence the gullible. Liberals, on the other hand, think they’re the only smart ones and that everyone else is a gullible dupe waiting for right wing ideas to activate their inner Nazis. It is true, though, that simply by having right-wing ideas discussed openly anywhere converts way more people than left-wing ideas repeated over and over everywhere. As a kid, I was naturally liberal because I didn’t know any better. My parents are conservative Republicans, but they didn’t discuss politics much, so my political ideas were the touchy feely concepts I’d pick up from school and TV. I thought all problems could be solved by taking away all the guns and giving lots of money to poor people. It only took a couple of times of my parents having Rush Limbaugh on in the car for me to say, “Wow. That viewpoint makes a lot more sense.” And I’ve never looked back.
Most people aren’t very politically active. Obsessing on politics like many of us do is really a geeky thing. For most people, they’ll seize on whatever sounds most logical and appeals to their values, and that’s where conservatism wins out. If you have a fair and balanced channel watched by many people where conservative ideas are given a fair shake, then it’s going to convert many people to the conservative viewpoint. So liberals are right to worry about right-wing views appearing anywhere average people may see or hear them. Why are college campuses so liberal? Because it provides a place where liberals can be completely free of alternative views or even one person saying, “That’s completely insane.” And it often only takes one to shatter illusions as fragile as inhibited liberalism will produce. While having something like FOX News doesn’t insure conservatives will triumph and liberalism will be as marginalized as stupid ideas should be, it certainly helps. Also, its a huge obstacle to liberals taking over in America, and they’re well aware of it.
Liberalism often seems like less of an ideology and more of a system of coordinated hissy fits, and their railing against FOX News seems to be very emblematic of that. If you look closely, though, you can see the rationale behind they’re anger about it. When you understand that, it’s less frustrating. And then you can just go back to ignoring it.

 It has been a long hard road here. As a little boy growing up in America, I honestly did not think such a thing was possible. But we have a grown as a nation, and now I stand here breaking this barrier once and for all by becoming the first white male president of the United States of America.

 I still remember how much it stung when people made fun of my lack of rhythm and predilection for putting mayo on everything. Then there were the bombings of expensive coffee houses — some of the worst examples of hatred against white males. But we are a less ignorant society now, and my election now shows that white males are now as accepted in America as anyone else.

 I want my inauguration to serve as example to every white male out there that you can achieve anything you put your mind to. I’m not saying discrimination against us is not still out there, but it can be overcome. Here I am as proof: a white man and president of the United States of America.
George Washington was the first while male president of the United States of America.

 Wow. Do I have egg on my face. Ends up my preacher was saying all sorts of crazy stuff. In my defense, how in the world was I supposed to know that he was off the deep end? Far as I’m concerned, all this worshiping an invisible sky fairy stuff is completely insane, so I don’t understand how I’m supposed to sort one crazy from the other. Come on; just look at me. I’m a liberal elitist; far as I’m concerned, all this religion crap is for the rubes in fly over country.

 While Wright was preaching that blacks are the chosen people, I just assumed all the white churches were talking about how whites are the chosen people. It made little difference to me as I’m only half either. Now people are telling me his words were beyond the pale. Okay. So “the U.S. government created HIV” is crazy but a believing some guy fed thousands with a couple loaves of bread and fish is perfectly sane? Whatever, red states.

 The only reason I was even in church is because I needed some street cred in Chicago. Apparently I wasn’t “black enough” so the advise was to go to Trinity. I figure I just attend a few times a year, and up goes my election chances. Apparently, I wasn’t looking far enough ahead, though. Whoops. So, what was Wright preaching when I did attend? I have no idea. I was usually doing a crossword puzzle. Really, what do you want from me?

 So do I hate America like Jeremiah Wright does? Of course, but not for his crazy mythology-based reasons. I hate America because I’m an elitist liberal. I feel you’re lucky I take time out of my important schedule to tell you how to lead your lives. I look down on America, American ideals, and the American people. I especially look down on religion. How hard is that to understand? The reason my wife has never been proud of America isn’t because Wright has infected her brain with his crazy hatred; it’s because she’s a liberal too. How could she be proud of this country? It expects us to sit through church to be electable. Well, I guess you reap what you sow.

 I think that’s from the Bible.
Barack Obama is a U.S. Senator from Illinois who only hates white people because of their privileged status… same reason any white liberal would hate them.