To be fair, it may sound to them like “Ken-Turkey”:

ABC News “Slaughter in Syria” Footage Appears To Come From a Kentucky Gun Range
Washington Examiner | October 14, 2019 | Becket Adams

Are you distrustful of the coverage of what is happening now in northern Syria between the Kurds and the Turkish army? You have good reason to be.

ABC aired supposedly shocking footage Monday morning purporting to be from the frontline battle between the Syrian Kurds and the invading Turks. The only problem is the footage appears to come from a nighttime demonstration at the Knob Creek Gun Range in West Point, Kentucky.

After seeing a comment from Wojciech Pawelczyk, I began making some calls. As of this writing, it appears that this video is a hoax, and ABC has pulled it down.

“We are still investigating,” a representative for the gun range told the Washington Examiner Monday, adding the images aired by ABC “looks to be” from the Kentucky property.

“As of right now,” the spokesperson added, “it seems to be our footage.”

A spokesperson for ABC conceded it made a big mistake.

“We’ve taken down video that aired on ‘World News Tonight Sunday’ and ‘Good Morning America’ this morning that appeared to be from the Syrian border immediately after questions were raised about its accuracy,” a spokesman told the Washington Examiner.

“ABC News regrets the error.”

See if you can spot any attempts at editorializing or bias in ABC’s news reporting:

“This video, obtained by ABC News, appears to show the fury of the Turkish attack on the border town of Tal Abyad,” senior foreign correspondent Ian Pannell, who is in Syria, said Monday on Good Morning America.

As he spoke, ABC aired footage showing undisclosed gunmen firing tracer bullets at undisclosed targets, causing massive, fiery explosions. Furious stuff indeed.

Earlier, on Sunday, ABC News anchor Tom Llamas also aired the allegedly shocking footage, claiming it showed a fierce Turkish attack on Kurd civilians.
“The situation rapidly spiraling out of control in northern Syria. One week since President Trump ordered U.S. forces out of that region, effectively abandoning America’s allies in the fight against [the Islamic State],” he said.

Llamas then described the video as it aired on-screen.

“This video right here appearing to show Turkey’s military bombing Kurd civilians in a Syrian border town. The Kurds, who fought alongside the U.S. against ISIS. Now, horrific reports of atrocities committed by Turkish-backed fighters on those very allies,” he added.

The “reports of atrocities,” on closer examination, are based on a grainy VHS copy of the Monty Python crew dressed as women, re-creating the Battle of Pearl Harbor in a mud puddle.

Like Biden, ABC clearly chooses “truth over facts.”

Can we dance on the grave of ABC’s Kurdability now?

What Constitution Day would be complete without a glimpse at Liberals’ condescending ideas of voters?

Report: Elderly and Texans of Color Impacted by Repeal of Straight-Ticket Voting
KXAN | Aug. 29, 2019 | Phil Prazan

A new report out of Austin Community College Thursday predicts 16 to 17% of Texas voters in November 2020 will not fill out their entire ballot. It’s a side effect of 2017’s House Bill 25 which repealed straight-ticket voting in the state. [Voters will no longer be able] to automatically select all members of a certain political party on a given ballot.

This will impact older people and people of color the most, according to the report.

The analysis came out of ACC’s Center for Public Policy and Political Studies. Peck Young heads the center and says voters will just get tired around judicial races.

“They’re used to walking in there and going, just a minute Mildred, (motions to punching a voting machine). I voted. Let’s go get some coffee. Now they’re going to be sitting in there going “oh wow – how many of these blooming people are there?” said Young.

No word on what Peck Young imagines people of color saying in the voting booth.

* The left are dealing with the Wisconsin defeat in different ways. There’s depression. There’s denial. There’s anger of course — I mean, what are the left without lots and lots of anger at everyone who disagrees with them. But anyway, whatever their reaction is to grief, there’s one thing that’s similar: It’s all delicious and we love it.

I mean, they really stuck their necks out here. The dwindling unions spent a countless fortune on getting this recall election, and all it amounted to was a huge affirmation of Governor Scott Walker and the tough decisions he made. And next for the unions… nothing. That’s it. It’s over. Maybe they should go scope out a space in the Smithsonian.

Exit polls showed that Wisconsin is still out of reach for Romney… but the exit polls also showed a 50/50 race when the final count was 53% to 46%, so who knows. Democrats have to be worried about a possible landslide in November, and if you’re wondering what would be sweeter than this Wisconsin victory, it’s Obama being kicked out of office by a huge margin. “Now scram, Barry, and take your hope and change with you!”

* Some people are wondering if Bill Clinton is rooting for Obama to not be reelected. Clinton has talked up Romney’s business experience, and now he’s called current conditions a recession while saying they need to extend the Bush tax cuts for everyone. One similarity between Clinton and Obama is that both of them at their core are petulant children. Clinton’s worry is being upstaged by Obama, but I don’t see how that can happen. Clinton’s legacy is presiding over the country during a time of prosperity and peace while achieving nothing much of long lasting effect and then getting impeached for being a slimeball. No one can take that away from him. And I doubt the huge disaster that is the Obama presidency will make Clinton’s term seem any less significant than it already is — if anything, it makes Clinton look a lot better. Clinton should really support incompetent people like Obama because it really will help with the curve when people grade his presidency.

* Michelle Obama applauded Bloomberg’s soda ban — no surprises there. But it’s not right to attack the First Lady for her beliefs because she’s not an elected politician and is just a dumb broad. You should just pat her on the head and say, “It’s good you think things.” That’s being polite.

* Taco Bell made a taco with a nacho Doritos shell, and it is now the most successful taco ever in the history of the Milky Way galaxy, selling 100 million in its first week. This caused Mayor Bloomberg to scream and shake his tiny fist in anger, and he’s threatening to take away the Locos Tacos unless we can guess his real name in three days.

* It’s the Wisconsin recall election today. Scott Walker is expected to win it easily and the once powerful unions are expected to be humiliated (which is on their path to being forgotten). Obama is trying to stay away from this mess to not get the stink of failure on him (he has enough of his own failure to deal with), so all he did was write one tweet in support of the Democrat running against Walker. Yep, that’s all the attention the unions were able to get out of the president: about ten seconds worth. And in the end, this recall should be an expensive effort by the unions that results in a very public affirmation of the governor who is fighting against them. Fun times. Let’s just hope November is this much fun.

* Obama is really struggling to come up with a good line of attack against Romney. They went after the supposed weird stuff like how Romney treated his dog, but that just led to people seeing how much weirder Obama is. They went after Romney’s association with Bain, but that just showed how he actually has business experience unlike Obama. And they went after is record in Massachusetts, which just showed he has a much better record than Obama has. I think they’re going to try the extremist route next, but I just expect that to show how much more out of the mainstream Obama and his friends are. Considering Obama’s record, attacking is the only option they have, but they just have to find a good one. Maybe if they search around they’ll find that Romney once killed someone… but then we’d probably find out that Obama killed and ate someone. Maybe they should start marketing Obama for his comedy opportunities. I’ll certainly miss him for that.

* In Japan, they’re working on special goggles to make cookies look bigger and plain biscuits look tasty to help people lost weight. That seems like the long way around things; can’t they just have the goggles make people look thinner?

* Since I read stuff, I figure I might as well mention what I’m reading so you can be like me. In fiction, I’m reading Darkship Thieves by Sarah Hoyt (also a fellow blogger who has sometimes subbed for the Puppy Blender). Anyway, she sent me a signed copy because I’m important and special, and it’s a very fast-paced book that I’m enjoying immensely.

In non-fiction, I’m reading The Everlasting Man by G. K. Chesterton. Chesterton seems like a very interesting writer and I wanted to finally read something from him, and so far it’s an interesting analysis of the current science on man — at least from the perspective of the 1920s when much of that was brand new and people were getting a little over-enthused about what they could know through science. Well, I guess that isn’t too different from now.

In video games, I’m still playing Mass Effect 3. I only get a couple hours a week for it, so I’m going through it pretty slowly. Though it’s fun, I feel like I’m playing it more for the story than the gameplay, because after three games I’m pretty invested in the characters as it’s very good writing and voice acting. And I’m curious to finally see this ending everyone is complaining about.

* Here’s my new PJ Media column on Michael Bloomberg and the tyranny of choices. Sorry it’s like half short jokes, but when I got started, I couldn’t stop!

He just knows that without his direct control, you won’t be able to enjoy unhealthy foods in moderation, because, really, just look at how fat and stupid you all are. Actually, don’t look; it’s too depressing. Instead, keep your gaze on the health guru Bloomberg. Don’t you want a physique like his? He’s like a halfling warrior. See, Bloomberg embodies his own principles, as he’s not a wastefully large politician like New Jersey’s Chris Christie; instead, he’s fun-sized.

* So there was another jobs report Friday, and if you like jobs and an economy that is growing, it wasn’t very good news. So this is the challenge for Obama’s reelection: He has to convince people to give him another chance when he obviously sucks at everything. So what’s he doing? Blaming Bush! I mean, Bush hasn’t been president for three and a half years, but he was at the White House last week and probably sabotaged things while he was there. So that’s the Obama argument: The first term doesn’t count, so don’t judge him on it. But we should give him another four years based on how he… Okay, I don’t really understand the Obama reelection argument. What exactly has he done this first term that we’d want four more years of? Whining? I already have a toddler for that.

* Is this some sort of joke?

It’s like someone said, “Hey, we’re really desperate for a spokesperson to represent how Obama and his friends are a bunch of elitist, out of touch weirdos… Someone who would make Arianna Huffington sound like the common man in comparison.”

So, do you want to hang out with Anna Wintour, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Michelle Obama? Then defy God and break all his Commandments, because I’m pretty sure that’s what hell is like.

* So, it’s official, Green Lantern Alan Scott is now gay. Just to be clear though, he’s like the fourth or fifth most popular of the current Green Lanterns. Yes, he was the original, but like a lot of the Golden Age heroes, he’s considered pretty cheesy by today’s standards and hasn’t had his own comic book in eons. When people say “The Green Lantern” these days, they assume you’re referring to Hal Jordan (who Ryan Reynolds played in the recent movie). Then there are also John Stewart (different from Jon Stewart) and Guy Gardner, both of who are also probably more popular than Alan Scott. And for a while, DC Comics tried to make Kyle Rayner (artist from New York — but apparently not gay) the main Green Lantern, but no one liked him so Alan Scott may rank above him.

Anyway, I’m guessing Aquaman is happy they announced who the gay character so people will stop asking him questions.

* Wisconsin recall election tomorrow! This could spell the end of unions and then Democrat Party, so fingers crossed!

* I love Bloomberg’s explanation for the soda ban. He’s “forcing you to understand.” Now, if only we had a way to force him to understand what a silly mockery he’s become.

In America — this country — politicians are supposed to be servants. They don’t make us understand anything or make us do anything. If anything, New Yorkers should be telling him how to eat. He does work for them, and thus it’s in their interest to keep him healthy, so they should be dictating what he can eat and how much he should exercise per day. That would be just and fine in our American system. We tell politicians what to do, not the other way around. How do we make people like Bloomberg understand that? The answer: a long exile to Antarctica to think things over. We really need to start working on my idea to turn Antarctica into a place to exile politicians.

* Romney held a press conference outside the shuttered Solyndra building, using it as a symbol of Obama’s failure. This is why I’m already liking Romney much more than McCain: He really wants to be president, so he is not afraid to attack and attack and attack. And really, what more do we want after suffering through the Obama presidency than someone constantly and very publicly pointing out what an absolute failure that Obama idiot is. Maybe a Romney presidency won’t be that great, but a complete rejection of the Obama presidency is needed to heal our country. And for the lols.

* A bill to ban sex-selection abortions was defeated in the House (it needed two-thirds vote for the fast track). The main response from Democrats is to pretend it wasn’t a problem — as they do with any suggestion of horrific consequence from abortion. So how does this fit in the war on women? Is allowing baby girls to be aborted for being girls pro-Women because abortion is so absolutely sacred to everything feminist? Just remember in the War on Women, only one side is causing actual casualties.

* John Edwards, not guilty on one count, mistrial on five other counts. I guess he’s good then; he should definitely run for office then.

I still don’t understand how anyone fell for such on obvious scumbag. Clips of Edwards campaigning in 2004 should be used in training videos for voters, “This is what a slimeball sounds like. Do not vote for people like this.”

* Obama says he probably knows more about Judaism than any other president because he read a book about them and some of his best friends were Jews and he once dissected one. Obama then said he was the strongest president ever and challenged all other presidents to a fight. When George W. Bush accepted, Obama said he had a cold so he’d have to postpone the fight. Then Obama said he was going to grow the BIGGEST MUSTACHE OF ALL PRESIDENTS, one so huge it would make Teddy Roosevelt look like he had a pedostache in comparison. He then said he was going to create the most jobs of any presidents… but then decided against that so he could focus more on the mustache thing.

* A prominent Democrat, Artur Davis, is switching to the Republicans. He had voted against Obamacare, which got him in trouble since black people are not allowed independent thought in the Democrat Party. But now that he’s a Republican, he can have whatever views he wants… as long as they’re not hippie views we’ll punch him for. But we do that to all races because we aren’t stupid racists like the Democrats.

* Mayor Bloomberg is banning large sodas because it’s his job as dictator to make sure his subjects don’t have too many choices to confuse them. Wait, that’s not right; this is America. We don’t have dictators telling us how to run our lives. Does he know what country he’s in? Maybe someone should explain it to him. Or maybe we should pass a law forcing Bloomberg to dress in an elf costume and dance for us. If he protests, we’d whip him and say, “It’s for your own good! Elf dances burn calories!” Hopefully he’d learn his lesson… or at least come up with a really entertaining dance.

* Here’s a new one in asininely raising the specter of racism: Bans on sex-selective abortion are targeting Asians. Really, at this point, liberals should just not be allowed to make a charge of racism. 99% of it’s just utter, partisan nonsense. If a liberal thinks he’s found an instance of racism, he should go tell a conservative, and if the conservative agrees, he’ll tell people about it. If he doesn’t, he’ll punch the liberal for being a hippie. That’s how they learn.

* Some people are petitioning that we have a “do not kill” list. So if your name is on that list, Obama can’t kill you with a drone. I just wish he listened to public input on the kill list. I mean, there’s people I want killed. Can I suggest names?

* Obama won’t waterboard people. He’ll just put them on kill lists. Isn’t this actually very reassuring? Despite all his unicorns and rainbow rhetoric, Obama is apparently very ruthless on the military side with his drone strikes where he doesn’t really care about collateral damage (any male who is military-aged is assumed to be a combatant unless proven otherwise) and his keeping rendition. He’s like Cheney… if Cheney were more effete and petulant. Still, some Cheney is better than no Cheney.

* Jay Carney tried to explain what’s the difference between what Bain Capital did and what Obama did with Solyndra. Of course, the difference is that with Obama’s green investment, he’s just risking our money, not his own, so he doesn’t care that much about making sure they’re good investments. But Carney gave the best answer he could: He stammered incomprehensibly for a minute. In fact, incomprehensible stammering is probably the best explanation for all of Obama’s policies. Maybe he can even make it a slogan.

“Obama 2012: Because [unintelligible]”

* Romney has now officially cinched the GOP nomination. So if you were one of those silly people still holding out hope for someone else, you can stop now. But it could be worse. I mean, he’s no McCain. Unlike him, Romney seems to really want to be president, so we can expect some fight out of him. And if he fails to defeat Obama, we shall banish him from this land to never be seen again.

* You know Robert Mugabe, murderous dictator? The U.N. has released a statement about him: He’s a leader for tourism!

Ah, the U.N. is so useful and totally not an affront to human decency.

That was sarcasm.

But think of it this way: The more time murderous dictatorships spend working on U.N. silliness, the less people they’re murdering.

The U.N.: We keep murderous dictators busy with useless crap.

* According to a Gallup poll, U.S. adults estimate that about 25% of the population is gay. The actual number is probably around 3%, so why do people think the numbers are so high? Is thinking everyone around you it totally gay a tolerance thing or the opposite? I blame the influence of Obama. We really need to toughen up as a country, because apparently we’re looking pretty gay.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

* There is now a Lunar X prize for landing an unmanned vehicle on the moon. There are also bonus prizes for doing things such as photographing the original Apollo landing sites. I don’t know what kind of bonus you get for exploding a nuke on the moon such that it’s visible from earth, but I’m looking into it and will soon start talking to investors.

* I don’t feel like blogging today. All the humor in me is gone. My iPad fell out of my car and now has a crack right through the center. Its perfect screen is ruined and I can’t cope.

Well, I’ll try going on anyway. Is there a support group for people who cracked the screens on their new iPads?

* There’s a reason we have liberals around, because they’re always worried about things we would never even think of. Like on Memorial Day, we’re all just mindlessly talking about how thankful we are that troops gave their lives for us and our freedom, but luckily we have people like Chris Hayes on MSNBC to say, “Hey, slow down there a second. Let’s not be so quick about this.” You see, calling troops who gave their lives for us “heroes” makes him uncomfortable. To us, it seems natural, but he’s much more nuanced. And he’s got a point; these aren’t unquestionable heroes like people who fight for tougher recycling laws. These instead are people who are running shooting others we designate as “bad”, so maybe we should think more deeply about this sort of thing.

Okay, I’m thinking. Thinking.

Done thinking, and what I’ve concluded is the reason Chris Hayes is so uncomfortable is that better people makes him realize how tiny his own manhood is.

Anyway, Chris Hayes has apologized, chastising all us rubes having barbecues and not thinking deep thoughts like him. Actually, that doesn’t really sound like an apology. I get this feeling this whole country makes Chris Hayes “uncomfortable.”

* Maybe one of the reasons troops make Chris Hayes so uncomfortable is that they hate him. Gallup has Romney with a 24 point lead among veterans. How can those people be heroes and vote against Democrats? Actually, you’d think Hayes would then consider the troops who gave their lives to be heroes, since the ones who are dead are much more likely to be voting Democrat.

* Anyway, things haven’t been looking so good for the left with them taking over and having a complete disaster with the economy on their hands. Maybe they can really run with this “we shouldn’t praise troops so much” stance and totally beat the Republicans on that.

* Been hearing about Obama’s “Choom Gang” in high school quite a bit lately. So is that an actual thing or is that a composite of multiple drug using groups he was a member of? And why haven’t we heard about this until now? When Obama first appeared on the scene, I was doubtful of Obama’s ability because he had never shown any leadership before. But now we found out he was the leader of the Choom Gang and strictly enforced pot smoking protocol. Whatever happened to that Obama?

* And here’s a weird thing: While talking about contraception, Obama twice mentioned “my sons.” Is there something else mentioned in Dreams From My Father that no one’s gotten around to reading yet?

* Apparently, if the federal government used the same sort of accounting the states use, the real deficit for last year was $5 trillion. That’s $42,054 per household. But look at all we get for the money!

I’ve even heard Obama trying to say he’s good on spending. He doesn’t even try to claim he’s reduced spending, just that he hasn’t increased it at a very large rate. So we did all this emergency spending… and continued spending at greater than those levels the year after. And he wants a pat on the back for it. In a more just world, he wouldn’t just be thrown out of office, he’d be exiled. We should just rename Antarctica to “Failed Politicians Land.”

* Obama keeps getting made fun of on Twitter, so he’s trying to find ways around it. So that’s what the leader of the free world is reduced to: hiding from all the mean people on Twitter. But he’s totally going to protect us from a nuclear Iran.

Man, I miss Reagan. How’s the DNA extraction from the vial of blood going?

* In news proving that universe is still working as it should, Levi Johnston is now penniless, having completely squandered his one million dollars, and has had to move in with his drug-dealer mom and take a job as Obama’s new Treasury Secretary.

* New York Republicans are proposing a ban on anonymous comments that seems pretty clearly unconstitutional. Still, I wouldn’t mind a little less anonymity on the internet. Unless you’re a Chinese dissident, most people seem to use being anonymous to be a jerk. Maybe we can have a special section — a nicer section — of the internet where you can’t be anonymous to participate. And we also need to bring back dueling. For politeness.

* So it appears the new gay DC Comic superhero is…

Golden Age Green Lantern!

So, just like they said, it is a long established character (he dates back to 1940), but also not really a popular current character (when someone says Green Lantern these days, people think Hal Jordan and the space police). And Jim Treacher writes what should be one of many jokes we’ll be seeing:

Really, this news shouldn’t be a shock to comics fans. It was just a matter of time. After all, Green Lantern’s only weakness is wood.

Are they really picking a superhero to make gay whose weakness is wood? Almost seems like they’re doing it for the jokes. I think it was retconned that the weakness to wood wasn’t a defect in the ring but was psychological, so perhaps this sheds some light on that.

* Romney is making a bunch of “day one” promises. Me, I’d make day two promises. Day one is going to be spent making sure my office computer is set up right and has all the programs I need. Then I’ll spend time getting the lay of the building and knowing where the coffee pot is and what are the good places for lunch nearby. But day two, I’ll get to business… but not right in the morning as I kind of like to ease into the day. But day two somewhere around the afternoon America is going to see a lot of change.

* The White House website is now offering financial advice to kids. Who wouldn’t want to learn from those financial geniuses who are somehow able to spend trillions of dollars to noticeable effect?

The advice includes:
– Just spend money on whatever you feel you deserve and not worry about the costs. Money isn’t a real thing anyway.
– Budgets are racist.
– If someone questions you on your huge debt, just blame the prior administration your parents for it.

The White House has already met with numerous schools to teach its financial advice. There were no survivors.

* A judge is recommending that the U.S. ban the XBox over a patent dispute. Obama needs to tread carefully here if he wants to hold on to his precious youth vote. Michelle will probably want this (“Video games make kids fat and I hate fat kids so much I could vomit!”), but all the youth will hate him for it. If anything, he needs to make it so you can vote from within Liberty City or something as it’s about the only way to get those lazy idiots to the polls. Lazy idiots are the backbone of the Democrat Party, it’s just they don’t vote in large numbers. Because they’re lazy.

* The Great Gatsby is being made into a 3D movie for some reason. I remember reading it in high school and being very bored by it. Of course, these “classic” books they have us read were never aimed at teens, though they’re the ones who always are forced to suffer it. I still have intentions of being a novelist, so should that be my goal: That one day, far in the future, my book will be used to torture kids? Or maybe in the future they’ll have kids study classic video games. I can just seem them getting bored to tears with the original Super Mario Brothers. It doesn’t even have an online component!

* Obama won the Arkansas primary! 58% to 42%, which would be a really good margin if he weren’t an incumbent running unopposed. But what does Obama care as he is unlikely to win the Arkansas electoral votes anyway and has a strategy of complete abandonment of anyone who doesn’t help his election prospects. They can just go cling to their guns and religion as he has white college kids to act all evolved in front of.

* More Democrats are coming out in favor of Bain. I think the problem with Obama’s Bain attacks is he hasn’t really distinguished them from attacks on capitalism in general, and this country doesn’t want some capitalism-attacking Commie. Capitalism is why we have all our cool awesome stuff. If we have to choose between an iPad and oBama, it’s pretty easy to say which one is cooler and more useful.

I think Obama is just all confused and scared about capitalism because he’s never had an actual job and had to participate in the economy before. Maybe he should try running a lemonade stand on the sidewalk in front of the White House. He could learn a few good lessons.

* Union thugs put up an effigy of Nikki Haley and pummeled it. Normally, if white people were violent towards an effigy of a minority, that would be big national news, but you have to get the political parties in the right order for that.

But I’m sure the union thugs had smart reasons for what they were doing. They did release the statement, “Me no like! Smashee smashee!” Ah, unions, they’re totally going to have a big comeback.

* Arizona has accepted Obama’s birth records, so now Obama can visit Arizona without being deported to Kenya. If he has his ID.

* A record low number of people now identify with the Orwellian “pro-choice” label. That’s probably from Buttercup making babies so popular again.

* A vial of Ronald Reagan’s blood is up for auction. It’s expected to go for a high value since rumor has it that if it were sprayed on Obama, he would melt like the Wicked Witch of the West.

There was almost also going to be an auction for a vial of Jimmy Carter’s blood, but auction houses don’t accept merchandise from rabbits.

* I want these:

I certainly know with which unicorn Ronald Reagan’s blood would side with.

* This whole Cory Booker thing is pretty funny. All he does is say, “You know, maybe capitalism isn’t such a bad thing,” and Obama screams, “How dare he! Bring me his head!” and then Obama’s campaign forces hunted down Booker and made him confess his crimes on video.

There’s not a lot of wiggle room for viewpoints in the Democrat Party right now how Obama had done a horrible job on the economy and needs to keep this laser-like focus against Romney’s record in business. But does the attack even make much sense? Let’s say you buy their argument that Romney is a vulture capitalist, what does that mean he’ll do as president? Sell off all the country’s assets? The point is whether Romney was a good or evil businessman, he at least has some experience of how the economy works which is way more than Obama can claim. You can’t be worse than Obama on jobs even if you tried really hard.

* A teacher in North Carolina told her students that they can’t criticize the president. I hope that’s not true; now the unemployed will have even less to do all day.

* Colin Powell hasn’t decide yet whether he’s going to endorse Obama again. It doesn’t make me feel good that our military was once under the leadership of a man who couldn’t easily identify a useless twit as a useless twit, and he really should have at least made a strategic withdrawal from his support of Obama years ago. Still, if he wants back in the Republican Party, he better apologize to all of us. And buy us candy.

* Here’s a neuroscientist tearing apart the liberals’ recent pseudoscience on conservative versus liberal brains. Liberals are really insecure about how poorly their arguments fair in the public, so they’re constantly turning to “science” to prove they’re right which just shows their lack of understanding of the concept. Sorry, we’re not going to mix two chemicals in a beaker and see what color it changes to to solve any political arguments. That’s done through punching hippies.

* SpaceX launched a Falcon 9 rocket that could be the first commercial craft to dock with the International Space Station. So perhaps we’re finally embarking on the commercialization of space. Some night soon, we’ll look up to skies and, instead of seeing stars, see lots of space billboards. Hey, it’s not going to be pretty if we finally want to get some movement in space exploration. But if we keep investing, we’ll finally get our ultra-libertarian Mars colony. Yeah, have fun dealing with your crushing debt alone, earthlings!

* A major DC comics character is going to come out of the closet. Every Aquaman comic to begin with Aquaman turning to the readers and yelling, “It’s not me! Stop asking!”

_______________

UPDATE: Linked by I’m a Man! I’m 41!

* Got this email from the DNC entitled “Its largest ad assault against President Obama yet” complaining about all the negative ads targeted at Obama. It’s kind of funny.

“Obama has been a really horrible president, and now the extreme right-wing and Karl Rove are spending millions noticing that.”

It would be nice to have more positive campaigns, but it’s hard when your opponent is Obama-level horrible. It doesn’t really matter if the other guy is any good, just don’t reelect the failure.

* You know how I said Cory Booker is becoming my favorite Democrat? While on Meet the Press Sunday, he defended Bain Capital and denounced attacks on private equity. That’s pretty damaging to the Obama campaign, so they’ve already pushed Booker into walking back his accidental blurting of the truth. As John Podhoretz says, “Cory Booker fears Obama more than he fears fire.”

Maybe Booker should consider becoming a Republican. We can speak our mind freely. …Well, you might get called a RINO if you’re not careful.

* The Democrats have completely given up on the white working class. Their coalition is basically just going to be college educated white and minorities. Or, to see it more accurately, it’s going to be lower class minorities and college educated whites to rule them and tell them what to do. That’s healthy; I’m sure that will last a long time.

Does it disturb anybody else that basically no white males vote for the Democrats anymore, but that’s still most of their leadership?

* Could the Elizabeth Warren thing get anymore hilarious? It’s like a slow motion trainwreck of awesome. It’s not just a blond-haired, blue-eyed hypocritical liberal claiming to be a minority or just that her evidence of her minority status is that she wrote a recipe for crab and mayonaisse for a book called “Pow Wow Chow,” it’s that she apparently plagiarized that recipe. Could she be anymore awful?

Early on, I got this John Edwards vibe from her when this rich white woman was raging against the rich to the cheers of dumb liberals, and it ends up she is just as horribly slimy and dishonest. Rich people who rail against rich people are all horrible, dishonest people and probably sociopaths. It should have been obvious with Edwards, and it should have been obvious with Warren.

* Man, it’s Friday and I don’t feel like talking about politics. So what have you all been up to that doesn’t involve politics?

Oh. Really? That’s boring. Back to politics!

* Obama apparently used to be a nutty birther. Yep, in his bio for his literary agent, he claimed to have been born in Kenya.

Now, I find birthers to be annoying, so it’s a shock to find out the president is one. We can’t have a nut like that in the presidency; it will make us look like idiots. It’s time for him to go. No one in a position of power should be making such nutty claims. We have two candidates, and one of them, Romney, has consistently said that Obama was born in Hawaii. Let’s elect the sane one.

* Brand new shocking information about Obama found by someone actually reading Obama’s book: Obama liked to drive drunk. What a lot of neat stuff we’re finally finding out about Obama four years after he was elected. Belly full of dog, mind clouded with gin, out loose on the highways. But he got over those rough early years to be a complete disaster as president.

His next memoir should really be written as a comedy.

* Jeremiah Wright claims he was offered money to keep quiet about Obama and…

Weird. I just got a PayPal donation from Obama for… Wow. That’s quite a bit.

Know what. Never mind about this. Let’s go on to the next item.

* Here’s a blogger for Comedy Central whining about how conservatives are overtaking Twitter. If there’s one thing Twitter has taught me, it’s that there are a lot more funny conservatives than liberals. They just don’t have jobs in comedy.

* I know I’ve been making fun of the move Battleship since — you know — it’s a movie based on the board game Battleship, but the director actually seems kind of cool and pro-military. Here’s a funny interview for Israel where he gets on the reporter for not being in the military (language warning). Also, a character in the movie is a disabled veteran who lost both his legs played by an actual disabled veteran who lost both his legs in Iraq — and gets to be part of a cool action scene. I kind of want to see the movie now.