I declare Operation Rumor Has It a success.
Or at least fun.
Now it’s time for:
OPERATION WE DEMAND
The Premise: This was inspired by the most offensively petulant display of childish foot-stamping and breath-holding ever produced by someone who wasn’t 5 and standing in the checkout lane with one hand on a Snickers bar – this WEtard commercial [hat tip – DamnCat]:

Please note the irony of deriding smokestacks that emit no soot as not being “clean”.
Anyway, if WE can get whatever WE want by simply wishing really hard while glaring peevishly into a camera, why stop with the merely-precluded-by-the-laws-of-physics desire for perpetual motion machines and decreasing entropy?
WE need to demand MORE!
Suggested format:
1) Brief mention of your love of WE.
2) Make some outrageous, yet only MARGINALLY insane (for a WEtard) demand. Try to walk the fine line between enthusiastic and demented, while leaning towards the vaguely plausible.
3) Sign off with some cliche lefty slogan and your hippie alias.
Feel free to leave in a few typos and misspellings, just for flavor.
Sample letter:

Dear WE,
I ***LOVE*** your WE DEMAND commercial! Warming deniers really needed to see what kind of non-violent, non-verbal disapproval they’re in for it they don’t give us what we want!
But I thnk we need to demand more. And this one is brilliant because it’s like judo because we pretend to give them what they want but we’re really getting what WE want. I noticed in the video that there’s no clouds of black smoke coming from the smokestacks. This might make people think that fosil fuels are CLEAN! So let’s demand that that they remove smokestack scrubbers! The only way to make people see the damage we’re doing to our fragile planet is to let the deniers SEE smokestacks belching thick clouds of ash, soot, and sulfury gasses like a man-made volcano.
Let’s see them deny THAT!
By Any Means Necesary
Robert “Rainphish” Guevera

As before, you don’t HAVE to be a member of WE to participate in Operation Rumor Has it, but if you ARE signed up, it puts pressure on them to take you seriously, and there’s nothing more pathetically funny than a conflicted liberal.
After you leave your suggestion with WE, send a copy of it to me at wesistance@gmail.com. If I find your entry to be brief, subtle, and at least moderately amusing, I’ll post it at IMAO so that others may enjoy it also.
BONUS LINKS (as requested by slapout):
Hippie Chick Name Generator
Hippie Dude Name Generator

The last of the Operation Rumor Has It letters for your reading pleasure.
New mission on Tuesday morning.

Dear WE, thanks for leading the war (can I say war is that to neocon?) on climate abuse. I would like to share my idea on how we can solve the growing climate crisis. I have a four slice toaster, but I only like one piece of toast in the morning. So what I do is cook four pieces at a time and I eat the rest during the week. Sure the toast may be cold going down my stomach, but the warmth in my heart knowing I am doing something productive makes it worth it. I have shared my idea with some of my “Rethuglican” associates (These are only associates, not my friends) and they claim that they like their toast hot. Typical “Repukelican” response don’t ya think. There was one time however that I did have to cook an extra piece of toast one week. When I tell you why I am sure you will understand. One morning as I was about to eat my piece of cold toast I noticed an image on the toast that looked remarkably like the best Vice President of all time Al Gore. Certainly I could not eat that piece of toast. I have it framed now and it looking at it gives me inspiration. I hope my idea inspires you all.
Sincerely
Earth Lover

I’m so glad a group like yours is fighting the good fight aganst those who want to destroy this planet for their own profit. Speaking of which, I realised something today. The oil barons and the scum politicians in their pockets have fought every energy innovation for the last 100 years, and have even squashed a number of free energy technologies. So why, after all that, are they willing to investigate hydrogen technology? Of course anyone who perfects it will make a ton of money, but the same could be said for any of the other alternative power sources they’ve killed. And than it hit me. It’s true that burning hydrogen is clean, as far as co2 and carcinogens go, and you don’t have to drill or blast for it, and it’s completely nontoxic. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make exhaust. It produces water vapor. But everyone thinks, hey, water vapor, that’s harmless! This is wonderful! But think about this, water vapor is literally hundreds of times more powerful as a greenhouse gas than co2. And all of the hydrogen that is burned will become water vapor, while only a tiny fraction of gasoline becomes co2. So hydrogen technology will put hundreds of times more greenhouse gasses into the air, and that gas is hundreds of times more potent! That’s why these earth killers like hydrogen! If everything that burns oil products right now is converted to burn hydrogen instead, it will make global warming thousands of times worse, thousands of times faster! And they have everyone fooled! Not to mention the fact that millions of extra tons of water in the air will cause unnaturally heavy rain and storms over populated areas. And those bastards know it! Because why would they support this and not support any of the other clean energy technologies that they could have made money from?

End mission. Recall all agents for new assignment.

Lead WEtard Cathy Zoi said the following in an email [Hat tip sgtryansmall]:

On the day Exxon announced its record profits, I testified before the U.S. Congress. I explained that there are no technical or material impediments to achieving the goal of 100% clean electricity within ten years. The only thing missing is political will.

Is the phrase “political will” more Hitlerian or Stalinesque, ya think?
Anyway, I’m inviting anyone who sees a “technical or material impediment” to her WEdiculous goal to mention said impediment in the comments.

Some Operation Rumor Has It suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.
You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.

Congratulations, it is about time that people stop talking about the weather and finally getting around to doing something about it.
I have a few concern however that leaves me in kind of a quandary I have been watching the Olympics on TV and I think that it is great that it shows how wonderful the Communist system really is and how happy the people are being taken care of by the Chinese Government.. But I am a bit troubled by the Olympic Flame constantly burning and warming our precious planet. Another thing that worries me is that the Olympic Stadium looks like a giant birds nest. Don;t you thinks that birds seeing this may decide not to make their own nests? It would be tragic if future generations of birds do not have the inherent knowledge to make their own nests! Perhaps we could let the Chinese know that we thing they are great, but perhaps they could extinguish the flame now and tear down the stadium when the games are over.
Sincerely,
A Fellow Traveler

Hi, im new to this. I live in N.Calif. and lately I’ve believe we are being exposed toan enemy as lethal as the effects of carbon dioxiode. Static seems to be everywhere Wireless energy (i.e. internet, tv remote controls, garage door openers, cell phones, ATM or i guess elec. data transfers, etc) is not grounded like telephone lines and electricity. Common sense says when any one of those towers out there get overloaded, the signal will jump to the next available source like TV antennas on houses and even to the ore in our soil like iron that is so abundant.
Over the last few months others in my neighborhood have noticed that sound goes dead. I live 1 block off a major thrufare thru our town and every single day you can’t even hear the traffic. I found out from a friend that use to work for the telephone co., that this vacuum of sound is caused by sound waves colliding with each other. It happens 20x a day or more. Wireless eneregy like any energy (i.e. sunlight, electricity) must also have magnetic and elec. fields. If the air is getting flooded with wireless energy then it must be flooded with magnetic energy. If this is so, then magnetic energy fields have just as much potential power to trap heat emissions as the vehicles that cause the emissions.
I don’t know. It just seems like static energy is 100x more abundant here than I’ve ever noticed before. About 30% of the elec. poles in this town you can hear the buzzing and it only seems to be getting worse. Also their is talk around about hydraulic sewer systems releaseing negative ions. If true, then both wireless energy and the addition of negative ions have the ability to encompass a much more major role in effecting global warming then even most of us could imagine.
Im concerned. Wondering whether others have considered this potential problem in the effects of global warming.

I’ve read Mr. Gore’s spectacular plan for becoming energy independent in 10 years. I’ve read his information on solar panels and think he’s missed something really, really basic that would help a great deal. We need to pass a law making daylight savings time mandatory all year for everyone – no more special cases (DO YOU HEAR ME ARIZONA?). If you think about it, the extra hour of daylight we get from daylight savings time could mean mega-joules of electricity for everyone having solar panels on their house right now and in the future more people would want to take advantage of this free energy source by purchasing solar panels for their existing houses or if they built houses they would want to have the solar panels added to the house because of the extra free energy available all year round (except at night) and maybe even people like landlords would want to add solar panels to their apartment buildings so they could charge the same rent but make more money because of the free electricity they’d be getting and they could put in electric appliances for all of the tenants so they wouldn’t be making all the carbon dioxide from using gas appliances or even malls could have solar panels and not be open at night when the solar panels don’t work as well – not to mention the public schools who should be using solar panels and not wasting my tax dollars on the inefficiencies of lighting classrooms with carbon producing fossil fuels or even nuclear energy (now that makes me pig ‘biten mad) – well you get the idea – and I got to say that a Nobel winner (that was a dynamite award by the way) like Mr. Gore should have thought about how to get extra daylight too.
Thanks,
Franki

Like those? Say so.
Think you can do better? Then do so.
Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE’s offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad).

Some Operation Rumor Has It suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.
You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.

Folks at WE,
The work you are doing to help save the environment is very noble!! Every time we see your commercial with the giant switch, my partner and I are overcome with emotion!!!
It is so important that you keep up with the good fight, which is why I am writing! You see, my therapist’s cousin, who happens to work with someone who has a very reliable source in Washington, told me that the bush (who I call satan (lol), even though I don’t believe in any of that stuff) administration is working to close down your website!!!!!! I’m not making this up!!! It seems as though they are working in the higher courts to pass a law that gives the president the power to ‘quarantine’ a website for up to 24 months on grounds of being a national security threat!! You guys need to fight this, because if they get this passed, well, imagine what a 2 year delay would mean to the survival of our planet!!!!!! Then where does it end?!?!? With the smashing of solar panels, and razing of windmills; Don Quixote-style?!??!! If you have lawyers, they need to get on this right away!!!!!!!!!!!
I saw an oil derrick the other day, I wept! Please help!!!, I’m running out of tears!
Alex Wilson, aka Distance
distance@happyhippie.com

THIS IS VERY IMPORTUNT! PLEASE READ!
(please bear with the phonetik spelling, it is essential so as not to be picked up by guvrnmint servalince software)
My name is Charlz Dyce (not my real name for reasons that will become cleer), and you must listen to me. It is vary important that you continue with your werk. The survival of our species and even our planet is at steak!
You see, I formerly worked for the guvrnmint at a sekrit facility in the Nevaduh dessert that I cannot disklose for fear of my lyfe and that of my parent-children home unit. (more sekrit than ay-ree-uh 49+2) The focus of our reeserch was on ekstra-terrestree-uls that have crashed visiting our plannut. Our reeserch has discovered that all (non-earth-rezidentz) require at least 1000 ppm of C-O-2 to servive. Therefore, it is imperitive that we keep our plannuts levels far below this, or we risk full-skayl-invayzhun! You must beleev me! The kurrint administration believes they can exploit any visitor’s teknologee for militarie gane, so they are trying to raise the see-oh-too levels above 1 ppt. This would be catastrofik! I have to be brief each time. More explanation will follow. Don’t reply to this email at this time.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!
FROM THE DESK OF THE United Kingdom DIRECTOR MICROSOFT PRIZE AWARD DEPT 2008.
Attn Lucky Winner,
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After this automated computer ballot, your e-mail address emerged as a
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You are advice to provide him with the following information:
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Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for
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Like those? Say so.
Think you can do better? Then do so.
Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE’s offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad).

Some Operation Rumor Has It suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.
You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.

Dear Matt, Laura, Melissa, Cathy Zoi, and the rest of the online team of WEsistance fighters and support staff!!!
WE has changed my life and thank you for making this website where I can join in and be a part of GW (global warming) and fighting for our environment!! As one of my “favorites” saved on my computer you are an invaluable asset in this growing campain.
I must warn you of another vicious lie of the GW (Bush) smear machine. In talking with a learned freind (Larry Shitera) about your WE store not having any t-shirt sizes larger than XL and how that might be veiwed as discriminatory aganst the overwieght, he alerted me as to a rumor that the environmental movement was becoming corrupted by a new philosophy called “sizist philosophy” that adheres to the belief that fat people should be actively ignored because of there negative environmental impact due to there size. Well I googled sizist philosophy and found a website called www.sizism.org that explains this in detail and i quote “The environmental movement is naturally opposed to the overweight, and what we mean by “naturally opposed” is that the larger the person, the more gas emissions are released into the atmosphere therefore damaging the ozone and our fragile third planet. Larger people also cause automobiles and other forms of transportation to work harder in order to move their grossly obese bodies due to their extra load bearing capacity; therefore, consuming more than their fair share of the earth’s fuel supply.” Unquote.
Please help me combat this smear that WE are sizists that porposefully discriminate against larger people due to the “natural” damages larger people cause and there overabundant consumption of our natural and artificial resources.
O! O! O! O in 08!!!!
Thanks to you and write me back!!!
Barry Love

EVEN THOUGH YOUR WEBSITE GRAPHICS ARE DOMINATED BY PLEASANT LOOKING WHITE PEOPLE IN THEIR BANANA REPUBLIC KHAKIS AND A FAKE SMILE PLASTERED ON THEIR AIRBRUSHED FACES (WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF A REAL WOMAN? DO I INTIMIDATE YOU?!), YOUR SITE IS A VALUABLE ASSET IN THE FIGHT AGAINST THE ENVIRONMENTAL RAPE OF OUR COUNTRYSIDE BY THE REPUBLICAN-BIG OIL-BUSH REGIME, SO FOR THAT I THANK YOU, ALBEIT WARILY.
I CANNOT SIT IDLY BY WHILE YOUR CAMPAIGN IS BEING ATTACKED BY THE REPUBLICAN PROPAGANDA MACHINE. AS I WRITE THIS, ATROCIOUS AND HIDEOUS LIES ARE BEING CIRCULATED BY A MEDIA AND CYBERMEDIA APPARATUS CONTROLLED BY RIGHT WING GANGSTERS AND THUGS. HOW CAN PEOPLE BE SUCH SHEEP THAT THEY DO NOT SEE THAT THEIR EVERY THOUGHT AND DEED IS MANIPULATED BY NEWT GINGRICH AND HIS CRONIES??!! AS IF THE REST OF THE WORLD DOESN’T RIGHTFULLY SNEER AT US FOR THE SAVAGE, INHUMAN HYPOCRITES THAT WE ARE!! GITMO ISN’T JUST IN CUBA, FOLKS, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT’S RIGHT HERE IN OUR BACK YARDS.
!@65K4=4,,6U *^%JO8AZ (THAT WAS ME BANGING MY FISTS AGAINST THE KEYBOARD)
WAKE UP, PEOPLE!!!
JENEANE GARAFALO
LIBBERGIRL42@gmail.com

Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. IT’s about time someone tried to rid us of fosul fuels. I can help. There was this guy, Edward Teller, he built the hydrogen bomb and accidentally solved our problem. He used one once to show how it could force unreachable natural gas deposits to the surface–but the stuff was too radiocative to use. That’s it—-all we do is irradiate the ooil fields. NO MORE OIL FOR BLOOD!!! We make it unusable and we’ll have to switch to the hydrogen technology the government has been keeping from us to keep the oligarks in power. TAKE THEM DOWN.
Kepp on truckin’
Corduroy Jones

Like those? Say so.
Think you can do better? Then do so.
Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE’s offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad).

Some Operation Rumor Has It suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.
You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.

Fellow WEezers:
First off, I want to encourage you to keep the faith! WE all know that Chimpy McBushitler and Darth Rove have long been conspring to RAPE our beautiful planet with their phallic oil drills. Well, the time is nigh for our movement. If WE don’t do something immidiotly, Gaia will perish as surely as those poor baby harp seals that were found clubbed to death on the outskirts of Crawford, Txas.
Unfortunaterlly, WE don’t have the manpower or spines to fight a full-on resistance. But, if there’s one thing I learned from countless hours playing Red Faction, it’s that you can OVERCOME anything with the right application of rediculous amounts of explosives and bullets. However, being a peace-luvving tree dweller, I cannot openly countenance the death of my fellow amerikkkans.
As the rumor goes, Chimpy and his familiars have Global Warmening fallout shelters. WE must find these lairs and wipe them out!!! All their base are belong to us!!! We must find a way to DESTROY the FASCIST PIGS and save the Earth!!! I can hear Mother Gaia, “Help me, oWE-wan-Kenobi…your my ownly hope.”
B3fore it’s too late,
Mirakel Bono

I think you are doing wonderfull work. To many people don’t understand that this earth needs to be protcted.
My suggestion has to do with carbonated beverages. I think they should be outlawed. How much Co2 is excaping every day from people drinking carbonated bevrages? Everyone knows they arn’t good for you and can rot your teeth or make kids hyper and loud. People can drink fruit juices or water which are much better. I hope you consider my idea. Thanks for your parcipation.

Dear We,
Im just so happy about this websight and it’s fabulous ideas!!! I mean it’s just so… like amazing!!! OMG the last time i like saw a website this awesome was when LOGO started theirs!!! But there is one thing I am absolutely horrified to here!!!! Did you know the ignorant right wing crazie people have actually said that John Edwards is STRAIGHT!!!! OMG like WTF, we have always known he was gay, but those ignorant liars are trying to make him seem heterosexual!!!!11 You should stop putting alll your resources into helping the planet for a little while, and try to convince the world that the gay icon, really is a flamer!!! Without him I… wait no WE would be nothing!!1 PLEASE HELP
Love you all, in more ways than one,
Elton (Rainboy) Mercury

Like those? Say so.
Think you can do better? Then do so.
Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE’s offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad).

Some Operation Rumor Has It paranoia for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.
You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.

Dear WE:
Thanks again for all your great work in fighting to return the planet back to the right temperature. I could not find on your Interweb site what the right temperature was, but the skiing in Tahoe was awesome in 1982 so you should use that as a benchmark if nobody has a better one.
I’m concerned now that all of our work to save mother Gaia (PBUH) may be for not, since the Chimpys Haliburton croneys are doing an end-run around our efforts by spraying the atmosphere with chemical trails. I have been reading alot about these “chemtrails”, and the evidence seems conclusive.
The chemtrail sprays have various elements in them like CARBON which can used to absorb microwaves. Some of these sprays have metal flakes in them that make aerial craft invisible to radar. I think it’s obvoius whats’ going on here – instead of doing what Gaia wants and reducing our carbons, the Bush/Cheney axis of evils is spraying Big Oil CARBON into the air as a cloaking device for their surveylance helicopters.
This should be our FIRST PRIORITY. I know that I’ve heard their BLACK HELICOPTERS watching me in the shower, now I know what they were invisible – CARBON CHEMTRAILS. Now that the science is settled, IT’S TIME TO ACT!!!
Vote Walken 2008,
Percy Dovetonsils

Doods – seriously AAAWESOME site!!! I cannot thank you dudes enough for taknig action and eliminating carbon from our everyda lifes.
I read somewhere (sorry I dont remember where I read it – I went to a KICKING party saterday night and google has scrubbed their serch results) that BArack Obama was not able to be president bcz where he was born, in hawaii, is now underwater bcz of the oceans rising bcz of global warming. This means he was not born in the united states and so cant be president!!!!!
Please tell me this is NOT true! If it is true, is there anyway we can like pass a law that says He can be president? or can we just make that news storey so that the reporters cant tell everybody about it? I hope this is just a lie by george bush but if it isnt, we HAVE TO STOP IT from keeping Barack Obama from being president!!!!!!!
Jacob Hussein McCandles
Change We Can Beleive In

Dear WE,
You guys are doing such a great job, everyone around me can’t stop talking about how great we is! That is why you need to do something about Matthew Vadum!
I keep reading articuls on the internet that this guy wrote . Just because he won an award for outstanding journalism doesn’t mean he has the write to accuse Al Gore (or as I like to call him, Allah) of promoting GW just to make a profit! He says Al has a company selling carbon credits, is this true? This guys says Al is just making a market for his credits!
We needs to go get this guy and sit him on the couch with Al Sharptun and talk some sense into him! I will not sit ideally by and listen to this stupid stupid man berate you’re glorious cause!
From the land of sky blue waters,
Tommy “ecoman” Boggins

Like those? Say so.
Think you can do better? Then do so.
Submit your Operation Rumor Has It rumor to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad).

I declare Operation Needs More PC a success.
Or at least fun.
Now it’s time for:
OPERATION RUMOR HAS IT
The Premise: Inspired by Obama’s Fight the Smears site, you’ve noticed that the Vast Right Wing Smear Machine aka the Right Wing Media aka every news outlet except NPR (and you’re starting to wonder about THEM, too) is spreading some unconscionable lie about Environmentalism in general or its proponents in particular, and it’s time for WE to fight back!
Suggested format:
1) Brief mention of your love of WE.
2) Mention some crazy rumor that you’ve heard (feel free to cite sources or include a link if you’re not just completely making it up) and insist that WE start diverting all available resources to fighting this grave assault on the TRUTH! As always, try to keep it under 200 words to encourage folks to pass it around.
3) Sign off with some cliche lefty slogan and your hippie alias.
Feel free to leave in a few typos and misspellings, just for flavor.
Sample letter:

Dear WE,
I’m so grateful that WE is (are?) finally out there spreading the TRUTH about global warmming! But it saddens me that you won’t respond directly to the rightwing fasists and deniers out there spreading their LIES!
ABC news claims that Al Gore’s utility bill is 30000 dollars a year which is just a LIE! I know for a FACT that Al Gore does eveything he can to keep his carbon footprint smaller than a bronze baby bootie! Is it his fault that the theives in Big Oil are overchaging him for his electricty? I KNOW he doesn’t use any more than anyone else, and a LOT less than those who are getting RICH off $4 a gallon gas.
I think you should have a page to FIGHT THE SMEARS! Just like Obama.
SCREAM truth to power!
Autumn Ariel Juspeczyk

As before, you don’t HAVE to be a member of WE to participate in Operation Rumor Has it, but if you ARE signed up, it puts pressure on them to take you seriously, and there’s nothing more pathetically funny than a conflicted liberal.
After you leave your suggestion with WE, send a copy of it to me at wesistance@gmail.com. If I find your entry to be brief, subtle, and at least moderately amusing, I’ll post it at IMAO so that others may enjoy it also.
BONUS LINKS (as requested by slapout):
Hippie Chick Name Generator
Hippie Dude Name Generator

The last of the Operation Needs More PC letters for your reading pleasure.
New Mission later this morning.

[The ever-annoying Cathy Zoi of WE asked this man for money – Ed.]
Dear Cathy,
Thank you sooooo much for contacting me about this exciting new website that makes such a difference as to saving our planet from GW and getting the word out about awareness of these issues, I have WE save on my favorites because I want to be a part of this exciting campain so that WE can STOP GW NOW!!!
A couple of weeks ago I sent in an issue/request/suggestion about your website, can you tell me if there has been any progress made on the issue/request/suggestion I brought up? Because I know it would go a long way to making your website more welcoming to a large amount of people than you are experiencing now. In case that e-mail was not passed to you, here it is in it’s intirety:

Hi WE!
Awesome site, I have u on my favorites on my computer because I know u make a DIFFERENCE in reducing gw NOW and I want to be a part of it!!
Question: you may want to rethink your t-shirts selection in your WE store, in that you only offer sizes up to XL and this may exclude some of our heavier members who would find these sizes too snug, but still want to show there support for the WE movement but may be offended by this ommission. In order to be sensitive to these larger people we should offer greater sizes. I myself know some people that would be interested in showing support for WE but would be uncomfortable in those tight shirts due to there size.
Please adress this situation in the name of fairness.
Thanks! ♥’in 08!
Barry Love

As you can see, this is an important consideration for your website because if we discriminate against heavy people then it sets a bad example in that where do you draw the line in whom you discriminate against, and there should be no discrimination especially from this website? As of the last time I went to the WE website there has been no change on this issue. Please respond as soon as you can and let me know the plans for correcting this injustice.
Thanks again, and here’s to the WEvolution!
Barry Love

This has got to be one of the more well done political satire sites I’ve ever come across. The farcical solutions to nonexistent climate emergencies, the bogus “feel good” success stories, the usual celebrity endorsements, the dire consequences of inaction scare tactics. You’ve tickled all the g-spots of the “touchy, feely, not much thinky” crowd. Identifying that “carbon sasquatch”, Al Gore as the guiding force of this endeavor is the cherry on the sundae. It’s like naming Brittany Spears as the new babysitter. I actually think that the well meaning fools who believe in this garbage could come away from this site with the realization that we can’t conserve or renew our way out of energy dependence without drilling, refining and coal mining also.
Herpules

End mission. Recall all agents for new assignment.

Operation Needs More PC – Part 8
Some Operation Needs More PC suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.
You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.

Rock on WE,
You guys are finally realizing the need to do something about warming up the earth. Welcome aboard.
I think we should shoot for about 3-4 degrees more and then stop. No? This will shorten the winters dramatically and help provide a longer growing season. I think this is more viable than using grow lamps.
My Ideal is to smooth out the differences between winter and summer buy using a buffer. Something that would absorb CO2 in the summer and release it in the winter. What would be better than hemp?? We plant a crop of hemp in the spring let it absorb all the C02 in the summer and then over the cooler months we burn it to release the CO2 and warm things back up.
One small complaint however, no one on your website appears to be wearing any hemp clothing. I could go on for hours about its nobility and versatility in making our sojourn at one with the earth. A hemp vest or fanny pack would look smart and socially conscious on any one of your spokespersons. Think about it.
Green not Mean
Noel Laureate
Hemp for Tomorrow, Institute and CO-OP

Dear WE,
Frist off, I luv your site!!!! I think WE all sould be more carefull of protecting Gaia, or prescious mother earth.
The only problem i see is that you have all blond womyn on your site. The only burnet i saw was a fat guy. I find it ofensive that you aren’t more diverse with womyn as gaia is a womyn. Lets not tick her off as she might spray us with lava.
My suggestion for helping our wonderfol planet is thus: A lot of people go to disney and six flags on a daily basis. I think we need to petition disney to up their ticket prices to offset theircarbon footprints from running all the electricity. There shuld also be extra charge for children because screaming producs more methane wich makes more warm air and make our mother warmer.
blessed be,
Dolphina Smith

I get all fluttery thinking about the wunderful things you are doing for climate change.
I really want to help bring climate change a reality. I’m tired of living through four different seasons a year. Going from the perfect mild weather into the blistering heat takes a toll on the planet with all our conditioned air. Then from there, there’s a slight change back to perfect, then it pummels down into not only into freezing temperatures, but below freezing temperatures. It kills alll the living green things. Then there’s that leftover stuff from the ice age know as snow. It killed the dinasaurs, didn’t it? Please let me know what I can do do to make this a reality. When then can we work on getting sunlight for 24 hours a day? Then solar power can WORK!

WE, I recently can across your site, and absolutely love it! I’m a huge fan of satire, especially political satire. At first I wasn’t sure if you guys were being serious or not, but the more I examined the site, the more I became convinced you are merely poking fun at the greeny global-warming scaremongers. I mean, some of the stuff on your site is pure gold! How do you come up with it?!?!
So, I’ve started pointing some of my moronic liberal co-workers onto the site, and you should see them trying to do some of the stuff you guys ‘suggest’ for ‘saving the planet’ (lol). One of the guys even rode his bike to work yesterday! 10 miles! In 95 degree heat! In the famous words of Bugs Bunny: “What a maroon.” These morons will do anything to feel better about themselves, as if they’re making a difference. Or as if there was any reason to try and make a difference.
Now, I do have one concern… I see you have some quotes and videos from famous people. Aren’t you afraid they might sue you for making fun of them on your site? Especially algore! Don’t forget how he tried to sue his way into the presidency in 2000! Maybe you’ve already thought of this, but if not, beware, liberals can’t take a joke.
Anyway, keep up the good work.
Together ‘WE’ can keep the libs in a tailspin.
T.N. Amaps

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Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE’s offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad).

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I want to first say what a tremendously fine job all of you at WE are doing to solve the global warming crisis. We surely need the whole world to take action now before it’s too late.
I take a minor issue with the wording in a recent post about the negative effects of climate change on Africa, wherein the Africans are referred to as “inhabitants” of that continent. This particular word choice has an unfortunate connotation of the colonialist/imperialist eras of the past and implies a similar disdain for the African peoples, whereas a word like “residents”,or “citizens” would put them on the same level of concern that we’ve evolved to since that dreadful time. I would hope that out of respect for the humanity of the African peoples as well as those whose ancestry is on that fine continent that you would choose your words a bit more carefully in the future.
Power to the people

Alcon,
Praise Gaia. I am so grateful that there is an organisation dedicated to ridding the werld of evil Rethuglicans. Why they dont’ care that polar bears dye, ocean levels rose 20 foot, or we are going to run out of oxygen in 10 years is beyond my ability to think.
My concern is the method you fine warriors, oops that sounds two militaristic, you fine acoloytes are persueing to enlighent the werld. As wonderfel as the internet is, it must me a huge energy sink. All the computers surfing the web and running servers must use a lot of energy. I think Google has a hole town of computers, but they are powered by hydroelectric power. Of course, Google does no evil. We can’t be sure everyone else is using non-carbon based energy. Don’t worry about me thogh. I’m peddaling a bycycle to power my 486 (lower power consumption).
Therefore, my suggestion is to move away from the web. You need to set up a group of zen practsioners to broadcast calming thoughts around the world. They should be able to reach people. That way this wonderfel project is not a net drain on the planet. After all, We are trying to save it.
Gaia’s blessings upon you,

Dear Sir or Madam:
My 12-year-old son has been hammering me for some time for a “We” electronic gaming system. Being in the charter airline business, you can imagine I don’t have a lot of time to do internet research, or to sit and watch TV where my son says he saw an ad for the “We”.
As many of my clients recently seem to environmental lobbyists and politicians, I was amused to see the entertaining climate-crisis theme of your website, where I went, thinking that it was a storefront for the gaming system. I can tell you that if there truly is a climate crisis, it isn’t being discussed on flights that I work. It seems that most of the conversations I overhear have mostly to do with fundraising and party-planning, so I am not certain whether to take the theme of your site as ‘tongue-in-cheek’. Anyway, I found your site amusing.
So, good luck with your parody, and if anybody has heard of that “We” game system, could you please put a link to the manufacturer on your site somewhere for others who might be confused?
Thanks, and Aim High!
Jett Darling
Captain
Clear Air Charter Airlines
Richmond

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Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE’s offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad).

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First a little visual from Doug

Hello, WE!
First, thank you for the fantastic job you’re doing for the environment! It’s about time somebody stood up for Our Blessed Mother Earth.
Though I am truly excited to be a part of this campaign, I do have to take issue with your t-shirt store. Though I do not believe the WE staff are intrinsically misogynistic, as a male feminist, I view the portrayal of the female in a “pure,” “soft” white shirt and the male in a “strong” black shirt as symptomatic of a testosterone-dominated society. To be sure, this sort of symbolism is so rampant and ingrained that it’s become almost unnoticeable — and it’s certainly the norm — but, along with protecting the environment, don’t “WE” also have the opportunity to begin to change the askew, male-dominated social outlook?
Hillary ’08
Proud PUMA Voter
Stephen “Huggybear” Stevens

Dear WE,
It fills me with great joy to see so many people working to help the environment and solve the crisis of global warming! I visit the site every day, and I’ve even shown it to some of my friends so they can understand how important it is for all of us to act before it is too late for our dear Mother Earth.
That being said, however, I was concerned about some of the language used on the site, in particular the phrase, “stand up for solutions to global warming” under the heading of Personal Choices. Now, I totally understand that this is a commonly used phrase, but it makes me think of all those unfortunate souls in our world who are unable to stand or walk because they are confined to a wheelchair. My own sister was involved in a tragic accident many years ago while she was riding her horse, Starshine, and she was paralyzed from the waiste down. Every time someone mentions “standing up” for a cause, I can’t help but feel hurt and offended by these words, and I’m sure that others out there feel the same. If you could please change the phrase to something more inclusive so that people who cannot stand do not feel like they are unable to assist in the effort to save Mother Earth, we would very much appreciate it.
Ride the wave of Peace through the ocean of Love
Indigo Skye

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Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE’s offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad).

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Hi WE!
Awesome site, i have u on my FAVORITES on my computer because i know u make a DIFFERENCE in reducing gw NOW and i want to be a part of it!!
Question: you may want to re-think your t-shirts selection in your WE store, in that you only offer sizes up to XL and this may exclude some of our heavier members who would find these sizes too snug, but still want to show there support for the WE movement but may be offended by this ommission. In order to be sensitive to these larger people we should offer greater sizes. I myself know some people that would be interested in showing support for WE but would be uncomfortable in those tight shirts due to there size.
Please adress this situation in the name of fairness.
Thanks! ♥ in 08!!
Barry Love

Dear We,
I’ve been visiting your fine organization’s website for some time now. With every visit I learn more about the Global Climate Crisis, the means to resolve it and the clever techniques your operation uses to shape public opinion and gain influence over public policy. I find it Very Interesting. By uniting all the little twigs of personal concern into one Mighty Bundle wielded by a strong and Fearless Leader your struggle will come to a Historically Inevitable Victory!
I have just one suggestion for your consideration. The unfortunate tendency of some of your supporters to invoke the mythological figure of “Gaia” is offensive. The wall of seperation between those obsessed with superstitious fantasies and the Will of the Leader must not be breached lest it weaken our resolve and cause division within our forces. The Superior Human does not need the blessing or guidance of any ‘diety’ to reach his self-determined destiny!
Please consider means to achieve a final solution to this disruptive element within our National and Social party. I’m sure a concentrated effort will bring them into our camp!
Sincerely,
Toppo Daphoudchane
Humans for Eugenic Hygiene

Hello! Me again.
I’m so greatful to be a part of this campain to save are enviroment. But, as I was going through the website for, like, the hundreth time, I started noticing that all the people represented on the site are white. Al Gore is white. The couple of womyn represented are white. The guys are white. Not only that, but all Western, and they seem to all be strait.
Where are those of middle eastern desent? African Americans? Homosexuals? Their seem to be no practising muslims or jews. And I know hindus care about earth also. Why isn’t their anyone with a red dot on there forehead?
Thanks for looking into this, and keep up the otherwise good work.
Hope and Change in 08!
Ray Saint

I have a problem with WE. Now don’t get me wrong, WE simply MUST solve the climate crisis and I am 100% sure that WE can, but I am having trouble signing up more members because of a few design flaws.
1. A lot of my friends are hearing impaired and they cannot hear the video when people go to the homepage. How am I supposed to raise awareness with people who are hearing impaired when the homepage is basically useless to them? Is there an alternate version of the site for the hearing impaired?
2. I also don’t see anywhere about who is hosting the site. Are they using 100% renewable energy? Has the hosting company purchased carbon offsets for the enormous amount of electricity consumed by hosting this site?
3. I’m also running into quite a bit of trouble with the lack of diversity regardign the models on the site – not a single African or Latino American. It’s really hurting my recruitment efforts with disadvantaged people.
4. My last problem is more of a suggestion, really. Why aren’t any celebrities endorsing WE besides Al Gore? What is WE doing that is offending Sean Penn or Danny Glover? If WE isn’t green enough for Whoopie Goldburg, a lot of my friends say it isn’t green enough for them. What contacts do you have with some of the rich and famous we need to recruit?
Thanks for your time and I look forward to your response.
Sunshine Campbell
“The Earth needs a friend – are you available?”

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Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE’s offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad).

Some Operation Needs More PC suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.
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Dear WE, You guys rock.
At first I didn’t get your logo, what a weird W I thought. But now I totally get it, it is me upside down with my feet in the air for the W. We=Me upside down. I think it is saying even I could become chimpy McBush if I got upside down on myself.
I do however have a small issue with WE. I have never thought of myself as a very large person, but I cant get a Teeshirt in my size on the website WE Store. It sez “They run a bit small, so you may want to order one size larger than you normally would.” That means the largest size available is really just a large.
I don’t think of myself as very big but I would normally order a 2x, so the site would suggest getting a 3x. DO YOU EVEN WANT NORMAL SIZED PEOPLE TO WEAR THE SHIRTS OR NOT??? MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GET A SMALL AND WEAR IT AS A HAT??? Sorry I get worked up when I think that ample Americans are unwelcome in the We store. After all it is not WE if it is not all of US.
William “snuggles” Perry

Dear WE,
First let me thank you for all you do. It’s great that Mr. Gore is still able to use his leadership abilities for the benefit of us all. I think WE really is doing a great job.
Second, as a Dyslexic-American, I feel I must draw you attention to a problem with your logo. Backward letters are a device commonly used by bigoted Dyslexiphobes to mock and humiliate us and deny our rights. WE can make a pro-dyslexia statement and support our dyslexic families by changing the logo to something less demeaning. For resources on Dyslexia awareness and a Dyslexia style guide please consult the International Dyslexia Association’s website at www.interdys.org.
God bless the whole world, no exceptions,
Daneil

Dear Friends of Earth,
Thank god someone finally is steppping up to take on the evil hippocrites destryoing our beuatuful EARTH.
I realize WE’s goal is to become more greener, however I believe WE’s logo may be unaccepatble to some people. In primitive amazonian cultures a green circle is a sign of agression, and therefore some poeple of the Aamazonian persuasion my take offense. Even though they don’t have an internet, WE still should not sacrifce the dignity of those earth-loving people.
Keep up the good work, but try to be more inclusive of EVERY people.
Very respectfully green,
Phillipe Nightglow

Like those? Say so.
Think you can do better? Then do so.
Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE’s offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad).