No Oil for You!

The Bush administration has decided to suspend oil shipments to the North Koreans until they dismantle their nuclear weapons program. They already have like no food, but now they won’t even be able to drive to McDonalds when they get hungry. We should post our troops all along the North Korean border so they can stand there and point and laugh at the stupid, starving, oil-less Commies.
South Korea and Japan don’t want the shipments to be stopped because they want to appease North Korea and not make them mad. Man, it’s like all nations other that the U.S. are either violent and evil or whiny little pansy. What America really needs to do to keep its standing in the world is bomb the crap out of a nation that is usually considered an ally. This will drive home the point that, as scary as some nations are out there, we’re much scarier and we will hurt you. Don’t appease them; appease us.

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  1. “We should post our troops all along the North Korean border so they can stand there and point and laugh at the stupid, starving, oil-less Commies”
    Isn’t that what they’re doing now?

  2. I’m half american and half Korean, and it makes me sick to my stomach that the South Koreans are little ass bitches. They need to let Bush stomp some f***ing commie gook heads (hey I’m Korean, I can say it.)
    By the way Frank J. I’m a new reader, I got onto your site from a link from the Empire of Man, and I have to say you are one funny ass mutha. Your articles are funny, but true. Keep up the great work!
    I think thats enough nut riding for today. I’m OUT!!!

  3. Aha!
    Do not bother yourself with seeking the Empire. Sooner or later the Empire will find YOU!
    General George: Report to your nearest Imperial Barracks ASAP. We’ve got a citizenship and a commission with the Imperial Anti-Idiotarian Stormtroopers waiting for you!

  4. Why doesn’t America bomb the f*** out of the whole word and get it over with … cause then your desire to kill will mean you will have to kill Americans. and you will do it. and wouldn’t that be a treat! oh, i’m sorry, you already do kill each other on a daily basis. my thanks to the beltway sniper for all the laughs. one suggestion though for the future, don’t kill american adults, kill the children so they won’t breed.

  5. Poor Glen, he doesn’t realize the US doesn’t want to bomb Canada because their women can get their pants or skirts off faster than you can blink an eye. I have personaly banged most of his female relatives, my brother banged the rest of them. I suggest we clamp one of those satelite guidance systems to his very small nads and bomb France with him. We could guide the Eifel Tower right up his girly ass. Because it wouldn’t be the first time there was shit on the streets of Paris we would still need to use regular explosives to blow the shit out of everything. for the benefit of the world.

  6. Peter’s real name is Brent. BTW, he’s just a little bitter cause he got shanked by a bunch of FOB Vietnamese gangsters not too long ago. He still has the scab puss to prove it. Poor guy, a scar the size of the San Andreas Fault on one side and a gynecomastia disorder giving him the Rockies on the other. This guy’s got breats that would make a lapdancer jealous. so in short, listen to your heart, don’t bomb Canada. We’re the John Oates to your Darryl Hall. We give you trees for lumber, maple syrup, blue-eyed blonde Arian-poster-girls and we’ll get your back (…..waaaaay back) in any fight. Love Canada. Just to let all you girls out there know, Paul is really good looking ; )

  7. Hi this is Brent it is true about my disorders, I don’t really know how to make it in society with the way my breasts are shaped, I have noticed that Paul (A really good friend, and a really good looking guy) only looks at my breast when we interact in conversation, he is Canadian and so am I. I leave this to the readers, should Paul and I bring up these issues before the bombing starts

  8. i am looking to recruit people into my underground movement, its called (whispering) stink club. don’t bathe don t wash your clothes or your bed. go to the gym, twice/day rollerblade and run as much as you can to increase the reek. when you smell others as bad as you whisper stink club to them, be a part of some thing great be some one.

  9. join my club– burn club, its where you get burnt by chicks at the bar every weekend. here s the best two excuse to use for this problem, 1 i wasn’t drunk enough to talk well. 2 i was too drunk to talk well

  10. Brent again,to my readers I have talked to my really good looking friend Paul, we got together on monday and compared body types in the nude paul has a shorter but fuller stump I on the other hand have a long but really thin package, Paul seems to think that my package is shaped very much like my breats I believe that my breats are fuller, should I allow Paul (the really good looking guy), Word of note to the readers don’t take steroids or you might some day look like me, I thought because of my unusual body type I would fix it by taking steriods but instead it got worse

  11. THE WORLD NEEDS A POLICEMAN! and I for one (Being British) would like to see those filthy communist heathens to be crushed. Every time there is a policeman, there is stability. I.e. The Roman Empire, (no main power in medeival times hence total war) The British Empire, and now the Americans.

  12. U Churchill a a british island monkey like your Tony Blair bastard! U are european traitors.
    Ze world dont need a policeman. But ze world needs a strong europe, which stop ze amerikan imperialism.La France, Belgium,Netherlands and my german Vaterland are good european countries how will get stronger and stronger in ze future.
    Altes Europa-Neue Ordnung

  13. “Passer pour un idiot aux yeux d’un imbécile est une volupté de fin gourmet” – Courteline
    “Being considered an idiot by many a blockhead proves a sensual delight to the eyes of accomplished epicures”
    “Les Etats-Unis sont le seul pays à avoir connu la barbarie et la décadence sans passer par la civilisation” -George Bernard Shaw
    “America is the only society that went from barbarism to decadence, without experiencing civilisation”

  14. Switzerland – Confederation Day August 1
    Cyprus – Independence Day August 16
    Luxembourg – Grand Duke Day June 23
    Spain – National Day July 18
    France – Bastille Day July 14
    Norway – Constitution Day May 17
    Ireland – St. Patrick’s Day March 17
    Denmark – Queen’s Birthday April 16
    People’s Republic of China – National Day October 1-2
    Austria – Founding of the Second Republic April 27
    Algeria – Revolution Day November 1
    Italy – Republic or Constitution Day June 2
    Nepal – Independence Day December 21
    Ecuador – Independence Day August 10
    Cuba – Independence Day May 20
    Argentina – Revolution Day May 25
    World – Roar with Laughter Day September 11

  15. How superior you europeans and canadians are!
    You’re militaries suck! You could be invaded by a troop of boyscouts armed with BB guns, you produce 10% of the worlds food (America producing 75%)
    you’re IQ’s and Morals are lower than Americans, you’re freedoms taken, and you’re government controlling you’re life, how inferior I feel! America apologizes for ever thinking we where superior!

  16. lobve truth love freedom love your neighbours
    our world is big and small, do your best with what is around you dont get confusedby information/lies from afar be a
    man/woman where you are

  17. EMPIRE ??? EMPEROR ???
    NO F***ING WAY!!!
    we are all equal around here! get that REAL STRAIGHT you self-loving faggots
    check the Constitution if you run into emotional/psychological problems with that reality

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