It’s Saturday, so once again it’s time to spread filthy lies about Glenn Reynolds!
By now, everyone knows how he likes to put puppies into blenders. He was so shaken by it, that he hit me with some sort of DoS attack on Monday. But look at his traffic since this scandal came out on April 19th; that looks down from the previous week to me. It’s working, but I think with another push soon he’ll only get like 3 visitors a week – fellow puppy blenders. So here is the new dirty, filthy lie:
I ran into Glenn Reynolds again the other day, and you can’t believe what he told me. First I just asked him, “Hey, Glenn Reynolds, how do you keep up such a great site, updating it all the time and finding all those links?”
“I only find the power through my deep faith,” he answered proudly.
“You’re a dedicated Christian?”
“No, I’m a Satanist!” he laughed, raising his arms into the air, “Thank you for my traffic, my dark lord!”
“You can’t worship Satan!” I exclaimed in shock. “Satan is a bad man!”
“You’re right; I can’t worship Satan… until I first murder a hobo in his evil name!” Glenn Reynolds then laughed even more evilly.
“But hobos are people, too!”
“As far as I’m concerned, the only reason hobos exist is for a murder’n,” he shot back angrily, “Now get out of my way; those hobos aren’t going to murder themselves!”
“You inhuman ghoul!” I shouted.
“Muh ha ha ha!” was his only response as he went to blend a puppy to give him the energy he needed to murder a hobo in worship of his dark lord Satan.
And here is really horrible photographic evidence proving what I just made up:
So, here is the new filthy lie to spread: Glenn Reynolds is a puppy blending, Satan worshipping hobo murderer. Make sure the press knows, because I want the first line of any story about blogs to be, “The most popular blog, Instapundit.com, is run by an evil man who blends puppies and murders hobos as part of a satanic ritual. That’s why more people are going to IMAO.us which is run by Frank J., a man who loves puppies, denounces Satan, and has never done anything worse to a hobo than give one a minor concussion.”
So spread the lie. I can’t wait to see his traffic drop like a rock now!
UPDATE: Michele of A Small Victory is sick and twisted too, but I think her readers already knew that.
Your Photoshop evidence is even more poorly made than usual. Glenn is threatening to MURDER Satan in the picture. And it looks like he’s worshipping some kind of angelic clown. IT may be true, but it doesn’t tie in with the Satan-worshipping story.
Whatever. Hobo-woshipping is weird too.
Whats the difference between a hippie and a hobo? Methinks you might have empowered him more than you had anticipated..
A hippie and a hobo? Choice of intoxicant. Not much else.
Hobos have a glorious history going back to the great depression. They are nothing like hippies.
I don’t think this is working, Frank.
Satanism is one of my turn ons. Killing hobos is another.
Don’t push me, Michele! I could lie about you too… though I’m not sure I could come up with any lies that are worse than the truth about you 🙂
Who is this “Glenn Reynolds” person everyone keeps talking about?
The only “Glenn Reynolds” I know is a lawyer-instructor who worked for Al Gore’s presidential campaign in 1988 and voted for the same Al Gore in 2000.
No doubt while vacationing in Florida.
Y’know this isn’t wor. . . . er, I’m here reading this. Followed the link by the demonic Reynolds and I’m sitting on my keester reading this.
Who’s the evil genius again?
Your plan may need fine-tuning, but the basic scheme is sound. By next week, Glenn what’s his name will be begging for mercy. Or killing you. Be sure to post it either way.
Kim du Toit: Whoa!!!! Satan-worshipping is wierd, but okay. You’re really destroying the man with that accusation of algore-voting! Say it not’s true. Say it ain’t so, brother!
This thread is extremely hobophobic.
I don’t trust that Glenn Reynolds. Nope, I’ve bought into the lies made by Frank. The ONLY reason I go to Glenn Reynolds site, (4 times a day) is to ensure he isn’t saying anything bad about Frank. Really.
SMG-I, too, came here from Glenn’s site…but if you think about it, the evil genius really is Frank because he has Glenn catching and directing traffic for him.
SMG-er…yah, that’s what you were saying. Sorry.
It’s a conspiracy, I tell you!
Frank – have you considered all possibilities here? I mean, my goal in discrediting Shania Twain is for her to realize nude magazine covers are her only hope for a future. If this trend takes off, a certain unnamed demoralized puppy blending satan worshipping killer of hobos would soon be making goo goo eyes at you from new stands everywhere. Or at least from blogs.
Glenn Reynolds actually admitted to having worked for the Gore campaign in 1988, and voting for him in 2000.
I would have saved the permalink, but it’s difficult to right-click when you’re vomiting into the trashcan.
My God! And I was trying to defame his name with hobo-murdering when he already admitted to even worse things.
I feel compelled to make a Chris Truby reference everytime Satan worshipping is mentioned…
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&selm=20010413101211.00821.00000016%40ng-fc1.aol.com
I once wrote a song about a hobo.
Trying to get into contact with Glenn Reynolds as we seem to have alot in common….. Me being Glenn also and have been evilpup for around a year now, recently whilst abusing my internet privalages at work I went onto Google and put in Evil Puppy and stumbled apon this site with references to a Glenn, immediatly I thought that it was some joke by a friend until I read further, you can imagin my delight to find another Glenn with an even more poisoned mind then myself. Would love to get into contact. Yours twistedly
Glenn Skinner from south of England
jesus is coming like a theif in the night jesus has the keys to heaven and hell jesus is coming back and when he does you guys will all go to hell. the bible says thou shalt worship the lord thy God with all their heart and with all their mind and with all their soul and they should love their neighbour as themselves. you people are evil you enjoy satinic rituals praying to your dark lord satan don’t you knw that god is watching you you don’t even care you just laugh you support artists like ja rule dmx and eminim and lil kim and read books by alistair crowly the lead follower of satan don’t you know that he sacrificed little children? and the “peace” sign that you use with a line and the line drawn to one side of the line and the other side of the line with a circle round it that is NOT peace that is SATAN!!!!!!! and those people who wear the so-called peace sign is honouring the dark lord. so go ahead if you wanna worshipping him then go ahead i am not hear to judge or condem you you read books by alistair crowley do what thou wilt in other words do what you like you watch violent films and then those films corrupts your mind you take drugs their was a song by this artist called brown sugar you think its about a woman but in reality it is about smoking weed cannabis give me some of that brown sugar you listen to artists like stevie nicks who is a pagan witch stevie wonder with his song very superstitious like in one line of the lyrics it said “the devils’s on his way”. pure evil artists like meatloaf would do anything for love i’d run right into hell and back. or maryline mason who said that evil was a god thing and dmx who worships satans says that he has had sex with a dead corpse and there is blood all over his penis and says sinc i am one with the devil i run with devil and like i sold my soul to the devil and the price was cheap. which is pure EVIL jesus needs to be known thorughout the world the gospel eeds to be preachd among all nations our youth is effected by what they listen to the clothes that they wear have symbolic meanings there is a pyramid if you look closely there is a symbol with an eye its a demon it stays in that room and it tells the [person who has been in that room. also if you put the cross of jesus upside down it mean satanic but yet you know that. jesus shed his blood for you on the cross he died to take away your sins if you trust and believe in him you shall not perish but have everlasting life. now ja rule edited something to the bible you cannot add to the bible and you cannot take something out of it but he did what he wanted to do jesus said i am the way the truth and the life no man comes to the father except through me he did not say that he is the way or he is a way but the way. he is here now and he wants to help you say this sinners prayer jesus i am sorry for my sins please forgive me i understand that you died on the cross to take away my sins i want to be a new creatuire i want you to heal me fill me i commit myself to you i give you my life and all that i have amen just think about it
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