This picture from AP is just calling for a caption contest:
Seems symbolic of the Democrats and Bush when the Democrat primary was heated with Bush bashing but Bush didn’t respond.
BTW, I once went to a martial arts seminar where I learned to focus my chi to take blows like that. I was able to take a full punch to the stomach and throat just fine, but I wasn’t very good at taking the groin kick. That is not a fun thing to practice when you aren’t doing it well (bounce on your heels… bounce on your heels…)
Anyhoo, caption away in the comments section. Winner gets to gloat how he or she is the winner… and maybe something else if I’m feeling generous.
FIRST reads post
Ow.
How they make the ‘Sopranos’ in China.
Caption:
Ha! Stupid hippy liberal! My giant sized Republican “Testicles of Iron” happily shrug off your girly kicks!
The courts desision to go Fung Shei had to start at the top, With Goverener’s personal assistant monks. The monks were known for having their balls in the precisie places, as we can see here, with Justice Vanderbuilt Testing their placement.
The Defense Lawyer tried unsucessfully to remove his foot from the dreaded Shaolin “Testicle Clench”
Sign zee papers, old man!
“The first annual Council for Religious Dialogue did not get off to a good start today as Cliff, a Southern Baptist preacher, takes exception to comments made by a Buddhist monk on pacifism and non-violence.”
“Sir, he’s refusing to speak. Bring in Rumsfeld.”
“Hey you dickless liberal, Kerry supporting,ketchup sucking, monkey loving, ninja eunuch; let go of my foot!”
At a recent Defense Treaty Summit, Tibetan Ambassador Xo Gung and colleagues humor US Secretary of State Colin Powell’s request to re-enact the final scene of the 1983 Ralph Macchio vehicle “The Karate Kid.” Mr. Gung later remarked, “I’m just glad we weren’t negotiating on tariffs. By the way, does he know we’re not Japanese?”
“Hey this guys ass is some kind of wormhole ….ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!”
You put your right foot in…
You pull your right foot out.
You put your right foot in,
and shake it all about….
Rosie O’Donnell’s new Broadway show, “Monktastic” rehearsals got under way. Seen here is director, Ima Mann, showing his cast the final “kick for love” sequence. This show draws upon Rosie’s life experience, and shows how she views men.
“…and you do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around…”
The ambassador demonstrates China’s intentions towards Taiwan.
Well, since my last one was simultaneously copied… =)
“If the monk don’t fit, you must aquit!”
“This sure beats dousing yourself in gasoline.”
Wun Hung Lo does what it takes to ensure he is the voice behind the Mickey Mouse character at the new Tibetan Disney.
You know Goldberg already posted this in the Corner with a caption.
Now if I could only find the link…
“I don’t care how hard you kick – I’m Asian – there’s nothing there to hurt!”
“Take that, Yoda! ARRRRRRRGH!”
Splitting the uprights, Asian Monk style!
Suit: Well, you can’t make an omlet without breaking a few eggs!
Monk: So i guess you can’t make omlets either.
Welcome to Bangkok
That reminds me of the “Medical Lecture” scene in Young Frankenstein.
Caption One:
Reverend Wang scoffed – little did the fool know that his balls were safely stored in a jar at his ex-wife’s house.
Caption Two:
“Wear-come to the Matlix MuthaF***a!”
“Damn! Can’t he practice ‘Wax on, Wax off’ once in a freaking while???”
Mr Miagi’s training comes back to haunt him
“Give my candy bar back bitch!”
Caption #3:
South Korean Democracy in Action.
“I’m wearing steel toes you bastard!!!”
“Mr. Hahn’s advanced shoe shining technique”
When the countdown gets to zero, the ignition sequence will commence, and you will feel me start to lift off. At that time, activate the explosive bolt and release my foot.
and you thought gay people did it weird
“Thank you sir! May I have another?!”
The new freak dancing
…Everybody Wang Chung tonight!….
“Damn! I hate getting my thing stuck on your thing”
Anonymous poster…come forward and identify yourself since you’re so witty.
Yan can do more than just cook
Kung POW!! Ow.
The fat one is thinking, “Shit!, I wish he would do that to me!”
At the Chinese Carnival Pavilion, Epcot Center: “Ummm…let’s see…Yum-Yum say you wear a 10 1/2 wide!”
Jin Whu standing on the far left thinks to himself, “There is no way he has balls!”
Yes, I can be witty sometimes
anonymous poster has left the building.
This is one way to stop the liberals from reproducing. If this fails, we can convince them that there are evil spirits about, ala this article. http://www.reuters.com/locales/newsArticle.jsp;:4067dda3:a99e2a31a388f2?type=entertainmentNews&locale=en_IN&storyID=4683759
“Hav-ah, nagilah, hav-ah, nagilah…everybody now”!
After viewing the well dressed government official’s demonstration of punting technique the concerned monk behind him asks “What do you mean its stuck?”
Photoshopped on FARK. Check out http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=884690 for a few laughs.
Monk: “Are you through yet?”
The North Carolina Better Business Bureau’s chiarman describes to the vendors from Shoalin R Us how John Kasay should have kicked the ball to keep it in bounds on kick-off.
Monk on Far right to Monk on Far left: Can you see Mr Ho’s shoelaces through Yum-Yum’s nose yet?
Stolen straight from those annoying Beavis & Butthead DVD commercials on Comedy Central:
“Does not the fire need water?
Does not the mountain need the storm too?
Does not your scrotum need kicking?”
Mr. Ho: So, solly. I always panic when cerrphone ling.
Monk on Right: Yes, Grasshopper. And you thought picking up red-hot urn with inside of forearms was tough. Now, it is time to leave the temple.
Everybody was dong foot fighting…
Mr. Ho: You fools. I told you the carpet was supposed to be burnt orange, not avacado!
“Ahhhh…’Iron Scrotum’ technique.”
Brown shoes and socks with a blue suit -you’re the one who deserves a kick in the balls
“bounce on your heels…”
Is that the reason why the men do not wear heels?
Ever hear of the nutcracker???
Snatch these marbles from between my legs, Grasshopper.
“Now that your foot is securely inside, I will absorb the rest of your body. Ah, yes, do struggle… it only makes my Absorber Apparatus work faster. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!”
“So you say your crotch is made of concrete?”
“Master, why you call me grasshopper”?
“Cause you ugly, like grasshopper”.
(Slight rip-off of previous post)
“If the Bruno Magli* don’t fit, you must acquit.
*(I think OJ was wearing “Bruno Maglis” on the day he didn’t do what he did)
The Romulan tractor beam is working like magic
Mr. Chin say “we are the borg round eye; resistance futile.”
“Alright, now that I have my arm flapping going fast enough you can take this anchor off my foot so I can take off.”
Congratulations, Chin. Your Kegel exercises are really paying off.
“In a futile effort to control Chinese greenhouse gas; under the terms of the Kuyoto(sp?)treaty, every chinese citizen is to be fitted with his own personal French designed plug.”
That is too funny!
Caption:
The White House recently unveiled their new multi-skilled relection team in its fight to retain the White House – The Unbreakable Monks – able to stand up to any attack, anytime, anywhere.
An irate fan, screaming “Han Shoots First!” attacked a member of George Lucas’s Jedi-clad bodyguard at Skywalker Ranch today.
“GET OUT OF MY WAY!! I can fly, I can fly, I can…
This is a demonstration of the new stress relieving therapy being taught to our government officials by visiting monks from Tibet.
And of course it is paid for by our tax dollars.
“Chop, chop, Hop Sing!”
Obviously they didn’t understand Ms.LSU’s article on “Handjobs.”
Tibetan version of Russian face-slapping duel?
Admissions committee for Rumsfeld’s world martial arts competition at Fang castle, or whatever it was called?
I don’t think the monks are Tibetan. If I recall, Tibetan monks wear red robes. The Chinese wear yellow, or orange, or something. Or they could be from Southeast Asia. Ah well, I’ve wasted enough space.
“So, you want Taiwan to be free? We’ll Roshambo for it.”
Must wait…until adversary…lulled…into false sense of…security…before…impaling…with bell-handled katana…held behind back –Sun Tzu
Frank, you should pare down to like 5 finalists and have a vote. We all know how well that works …
Yeah! Declare a winner, Frank!
ohhohohoho, that’s how I like it baby. work it. In, out, in, out.
“500 Dollars says you can kick me in the sack and I dont flinch”
“Secretary of State Colin Powell simultaneously demonstrates his displeasure with and the effectiveness of President Bush’s recent controversial decision to replace his Secret Service bodyguards with Buddhist monks, a decision he came to after watching the Japanese animated television show ‘Saiyuki’.”
Frank, do not vote for yourself on this one. It wasn’t the funniest. Just thought I’d let you know before you got any more bright ideas (and I know you get lots).
Possible slogans:
‘John Kerry has a small penis’
‘The French suck’ or…
‘G.W.B. kicks J.F.K. in the N.U.T.Z.’
“Whatta ya mean I got no balls”!
Steel underwear – $10
Betting your friend to kick you in the balls- Free
Watching his reaction: priceless
Okay Haagus, you win!! Best one yet! And it only took 92 comments to get there!
He Shoots, He SCORES!
I have won one of the two caption contests that I linked to earlier on Captain’s Quarters Blog! Ok, well not exactly “won” outright, but I did win the “Report to Sick Bay Immediately (or, The “I am simply shocked…
Pathetic Entry #1:
Just like Mr. Miyagi taught us, there is no defense against The Crane.
Pathetic Entry #2:
Shaolin eunuchs rule, dude! They just don’t get the girls …
Sum Yun Gai proves yet again to the other monks why he’s the only one exempt from wearing those most becoming dresses
Rarr!!
Okay Ichi, one more time… but if my shoe comes back untied again I’m gonna get really upset!
eunech monks takeover courtroom to protest the killing of kung fu squirrels. Details at eleven.
eunech monks takeover courtroom to protest the killing of kung fu squirrels. Details at eleven.
Okay, just declench the cheeks a bit so I can have my foot back please!
“We’ll Roshambo for it” !!!! That’s the best, by far.
Herb Wesson does to the monk what he’s been doing to California taxpayers for years.
“Aaah. Your predilection or vengeance against your childhood tormenters is strong; yet, I comfortably feel that you still lack the grace of a true smack-down…”
The defense lawyer clearly demonstrated his client’s nuts.
“Ha! Stupid hippy liberal! My giant sized Republican “Testicles of Iron” happily shrug off your girly kicks!”
Posted by: Twitchy 45 on March 30, 2004 01:00 PM
I think the majority of Jiu Jiu Shen Gong practicioners are actually liberals…
http://store.martialartsmart.net/prjt001.html
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