How not to sign an online gift registry card:
This has been another crappy wedding present from your friend, Laurence Simon… NOW GO TO BED (BATH AND BEYOND)!
I plan on receiving my thank-you beating in person in December, unless I go to another game in the Crawford Boxes at Minutemaid Park before the season ends. Might as well give Disastros relief pitcher Chad Qualls another chance to have a homerun launched off of him heading straight for my groin.
Or, from the IM conversation last night:
ME: Hit by ball.
CHUCK: Ouch. Where?
ME: In the Crawford Boxes. RIMSHOT.
And, no, the fateful event did not appear on the mlb.com archived video. I think it was too grisly for even them to show.
Ouch. I pity you.
Hey, at least the Ass-tros aren’t 1-5 against the freaking Sandy-Eggo Padres like the Braves are. And karma being the bitch it is, if the Phillies(who suck just because they’re from Philadelphia) win the Wild Card, the Braves will have to play those same under-.500 Padres. Nothing like another 1st round exit.
Yikes! I hope the baseball stiches didn’t leave a permanent mark. That might be a little hard to explain.
Unless the IZC has a way of removing them. It’d be just like your lot to have a way of doing plastic surgery from a secret orbital plastic surgery beam station.
And if the IZC can do it from orbit, do y’all have an, um, augmentation ray?
Just curious, not that I need it or anything.
Okay, I do, and I’d pay big bucks.
haha, that’s one of the funniest gift card messages i’ve ever seen!
i hope that you actually wrote that (to whomever you purchased the card for).
btw, sorry about your groin.