Posted by RightWingDuck as a favor to Santa Claus.

Santa has been kind enough to answer questions for the fans of IMAO. You folks have no idea how special you are!

Here are just some of the questions that you asked Santa along with his special one of a kind answers….

Ask Santa – A special IMAO session

Question: Santa – Since Christmas has not been cancelled due to a strike or labor costs, I assume that your elves are non-union. Am I correct?
Posted by The Man

Ho, ho, ho. You are so The Man. yes, you’re right. I don’t use union labor. This explains why products from the North Pole seldom break down.

You know the secret – hiring the right people You should interview one of my foremen Elves – like Juan Garcia. Or the other Juan Garcia. Unfortunately, this year I did lose some elves when they decided to go get some work rebuilding New Orleans.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Question: Santa – I would really like to have Chucky Schumer’s head on a pike for Christmas.

Is that doable?
Posted by jimmyb

Ho ho ho. Oh, Jimmy B. You ask for that every Christmas. I’d like to say yes to you, but only if that is also the wish of Chucky Schumer himself. Otherwise, I’ll have to bring you your second choice – Barbra Streisand Sings Her Favorite War Protest Love Songs.

Ho. Ho. Ho. Merry Christmas, little Jimmy.

Question: Oh Santa…I have a weakness for furry, overweight men, with bags full of neat toys – Does Mrs. Clause ever let you out, other than Christmas time?
Posted by Wonder Woman

Ho.

If you like getting frisky, may I suggest you use something besides the invisible jet? Really, lady, you’re not hiding anything. You’re on the naughty list this year and I didn’t even have to do any spying. Mrs. Claus and I enjoy each other’s company very much. Thanks for asking.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Question:Do the rumors of you being a communust have any substance or are they false? Also, if they are true how do I break the news to my very conservative, commie hateing young childern?
Posted by -[Medic]-

Ho. Ho. Ho. I tell you Medic, that’s not fair. I swear, you vote Democrat ONE time and you never get to live it down! I was young, I needed the money! Tell your children that Santa Claus is All American. This year, have them check their stockings. They’ll find an extra box of ammo.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Question: Santa, Are you really Satan? I mean, you’re big, red, and your anagram is clearly S-A-T-A-N. Plus, you come thru the chimney like a thief???
Posted by rightwingimmigrant

Ho, ho, ho. Close RWI, in fact, my name is Stan A. It’s a family name. BTW, when the hell did Satan come down the chimney?

Question: Santa, If you don’t give me my official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle this Christmas, I’m gonna shoot your eye out.

Do we understand each other?

PS- No hard feelings. I just have to be able to defend myself from Scut Farkas and the monkey ninjas.
Posted by Ralphie

Ah Ralphie. How are you? Ho, ho, ho. I enjoy sticking my size 12 boot in your face. Merry Christmas. BTW, try not insulting the people you need. What are you – a Democrat?

Question: Dear Santa,

It has cost me years of Therapy and Support Group meetings to get over the sight of you and my dear ma-ma getting it on under the tree. So I have a few Christmas requests:

1. All the money I spent on Therapy

2. An in person, face-to-face apology to my dear Pa-Pa.

3. A pony and a plastic Rocket. Buddah didn’t come through for me.

So, it’s time to pay the piper you lecherous fat bastard. Pay up or things might get unpleasant.

With Love, Jesse

Ho, Ho, Ho, Jesse. What therapy? You keep writing to Ask Ducky! Your mom, Insert Her Name Here, was very special to me.

Besides, there’s something I need to tell you. How do I say this to you? Sigh, oh look at you. You have my eyes….

Question: Santa, why did the WB okay a Aquaman tv show?
Posted by John

Ho. Ho. Ho, John.

What?

Did you think that EVERYONE was good this year?

**

Okay, everyone. That’s it for Ask Santa.

Santa and I will go through more of your questions soon. Remember, you are running out of shopping days, so make each day count.

Santa will be back tomorrow with even more questions answered. It’s not too late to ask even more questions in comments.