“Hugo Chavez announces that Citgo will now provide customers a complementary paper-back copy of Noam Chomsky’s 224 page tome to help reduce NYC dependence on Venezualan heating oil this winter”
No collection is complete without this. I put it right between Mein Kempf and The Communist Manifesto. Seriously if you want to be a communist leader you need this book.
Not available in stores!! AND . . . if you act now, we’ll throw in, absolutely free, at no obligation, a barrel of absolutely authentic oil-for-terror, er, food, crude oil. Operators are now standing by! Dial 1-888-MOONBAT!
Hugo mad. Hugo thought this was book about gnomes. Hugo like gnomes. Hugo no see pictures either. No gnome pictures. Mamoo Amadadaba, little gnome with big head. That why Hugo like him.
Hugo Chazev introduced the latest menu item in Venezuela’s government regulated school cafeterias… “It’s fulfilling, and hopefully, by ingesting the material, the children will absorb the anti-American propaganda our socialized schools have failed so miserably to teach them.”
P.S. Any interesting anagrams for Noam Chomsky? I got “Sky Mocha, Mon” from a Jamaican Starbucks…
“i heartily endorse this book; it gave me justification for calling America the debil, and it took the coffee and nicotene stains off my teeth. i would use it again, if i were sure i’d survive this trip to America.”
RedWhiteandTrue –
There’s nosy hammock, and cask homonym (which, I think, resonates reasonably well with Chomsky’s field of study), and Mash coy monk, and, of course, my homo snack. You can check all (presumably) of them out at http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram
CHAVEZ: Now this book may be full of lame hypoctitical pinko BS, but there’s a recipe for spaghetti sauce in the back that’s to die for. In fact I shot several people in honour of it.
Well, since we all know what Chavez is actually doing
up there..
“Whew! No offense to Chomppers, but his writing just can’t stand up to the deluge like a good Sears-Robuck mag, know what I mean? I tell ya, his stuff fares about as well as tempered steel against Aliens blood.”
Ladies and gentlemen I’ve just been informed that after the Iran leaders speech yesterday, we’ve temporarily run out of toilet paper. Until this crisis is solved, I suggest this soft and supple substitute. Buy yours today in the UN gift shop.
“The Prophet Mohamad came to me in a vision and told me what to write. This is the new Holy Book that i now give to the world. Mwaahahahhaa mwaahaahahaaha” (evil laughter continues)
“Order today, amigos Yanquis, and, for your enhanced reading pleasure, we will rub your copy of “Hegemonia” with El Diablo BrainFart, a sulphurous scent composed of my speeches, DNA from El Jefe Castro’s cadaver, and Rio Rosa Chomsky’s brainwaves! 100% guaranteed to attract the babes–Cindy Sheehan, Rosie O’Donnell, and other burros!! You’ll score, for sure!!
“Apparatchiks are standing by now, waiting for YOUR call at 1-800-La Caca Grande, or order on the web at www.pendejosR.Us.com! Have your VISA or Citgo credit card handy!!
“And, as I declaimed in my rock-star UN General Assembly peroration–‘mi nutcasa es su nutcasa!!'”
“Hugo mad. Book not have nough pictures. Hugo like pretty pictures. Hugo blame Bush! Bush kill pretty pictures! Bush is devil! Bad Bush! Hugo very upset, need nap now.”
Could we get a marine to punch Hugo in his ape face? I would pay good money for that.
Chavez: “And my greatest regret is that I never met Mr. Chomsky before he died.”
Chomsky (offscreen): “I’m still alive! What are you, an idiot?”
Chavez: “Well, at least I’m not deceased, like you.”
Look what I found in a little shack with a moon on the door! It was missing several pages, but…
Look what I got with my subscrition to the New York Times!
And you,too can become an incoherant, ruthless dictator! With the help of this handy manual, learn how to talk trash about America while being invited to the “World’s Collection of Slimebag Club”, better known as the U.N….
Okay, class, now let’s take a look at page 19, you’ll see the…..hold it a sec….
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….
Okay, now, where were …oh yeah, the third paragraph here says that…just wait a sec…………
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….
(Gott, vas dot a tight vun!)
“I must now confess to you that Noam is my father. He and my mother had a brief and passionate encounter after a “Youth for Che” rally, and who knew alcohol would have the effect on a goat that it does on a human? But anyway, after momma sobered up I was born a few months later and…”
“Just remember: Don’t bring this book too close to a Bible, a church, or the Pope – doing so may cause printed material written by Noam Chomsky to spontaneously combust, resulting in burns and sulfurous odors.”
P.S. Just had an idea for cleaning up the U.N. – get the Pope to supply some holy water for all those little water glasses the ambassadors keep next to their microphones. If nothing else, we could probably get Kofi Annan. Heck, it’d probably work on Congress too – though it might take some pretty strong stuff to work on Hillary . . .
And on my days off, I like to sit back, sip some kool-aid and read some chomsky.
or
I plan on following the plan outlined in this book: nuking the moon.
“And now I say to you that even this book which is-what you call-romance novel, it show that Bush is devil, and that he coming to kill innocent Venezuela babies like he kill Iraq babies, and…espanol expletive…idiot teleprompter! You no turn pages fast enough! I have you shot!
Silicon Valley Jim: There’s nosy hammock, and cask homonym (which, I think, resonates reasonably well with Chomsky’s field of study), and Mash coy monk, and, of course, my homo snack. You can check all (presumably) of them out at http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram
How about the next best one,
“COMMAS, HONKEY!”
and
“MANY MOCK HOS!”
Uh, sorry about the late post. I’m in Baghdad so I hardly get a chance to get online anymore.
(singing ABC song)
“…Hugo know my A-B-C’s!…
Can some-one pro-nounce this for me?”
Who could possibly be more of an expert on Political Science systems than a college professor with a degree in Linguistics?
This book is almost as fat as me!
“Hugo Chavez announces that Citgo will now provide customers a complementary paper-back copy of Noam Chomsky’s 224 page tome to help reduce NYC dependence on Venezualan heating oil this winter”
It’s soft, strong and thoroughly absorbent!
Check out the second picture.
COBRAAAAAA!
To those who have dissidents in their country I say, use this Treacher’s method of torture called “The Chomsky”.
I’m really disappointed by Matthew Lesko’s leftward drift.
This thing wouldn’t fit in the stupid toilet!!
“For my book report, I read this hilarious collection of used Madlibs by Noam Chomsky…”
This tome of advanced communist thought is now available in paperback for only $19.95!
For those of you who wish to read this book, I suggest reading it en espanol. Even if you don’t understand espanol it will make just as much sense.
“As my good friend Mahmoud has said about this book, ‘Derka derka mohamed jihad! Sherpa sherpa bak allah!'”
And the book of the month club sent me this piece of shit!
Hooked on Phonics must be really desperate for celebrity endorsements…
“…And Noam Chomsky is da debil, Mr. Coach Klein is da debil, Foosball is da debil, Benjamin Franklin is da debil…”
No collection is complete without this. I put it right between Mein Kempf and The Communist Manifesto. Seriously if you want to be a communist leader you need this book.
Not available in stores!! AND . . . if you act now, we’ll throw in, absolutely free, at no obligation, a barrel of absolutely authentic oil-for-terror, er, food, crude oil. Operators are now standing by! Dial 1-888-MOONBAT!
Hugo mad. Hugo thought this was book about gnomes. Hugo like gnomes. Hugo no see pictures either. No gnome pictures. Mamoo Amadadaba, little gnome with big head. That why Hugo like him.
Hugo Chazev introduced the latest menu item in Venezuela’s government regulated school cafeterias… “It’s fulfilling, and hopefully, by ingesting the material, the children will absorb the anti-American propaganda our socialized schools have failed so miserably to teach them.”
P.S. Any interesting anagrams for Noam Chomsky? I got “Sky Mocha, Mon” from a Jamaican Starbucks…
“i heartily endorse this book; it gave me justification for calling America the debil, and it took the coffee and nicotene stains off my teeth. i would use it again, if i were sure i’d survive this trip to America.”
RedWhiteandTrue –
There’s nosy hammock, and cask homonym (which, I think, resonates reasonably well with Chomsky’s field of study), and Mash coy monk, and, of course, my homo snack. You can check all (presumably) of them out at http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram
…and absolutely free, as a bonus gift, I will send you the updated version of Mao’s Little Red Book, edited by the American disssident Noam Chomsky…
CHAVEZ: Now this book may be full of lame hypoctitical pinko BS, but there’s a recipe for spaghetti sauce in the back that’s to die for. In fact I shot several people in honour of it.
“Seriously, this guy’s parents named him ‘Noam.’ What the hell is wrong with you Americans?”
Well, since we all know what Chavez is actually doing
up there..
“Whew! No offense to Chomppers, but his writing just can’t stand up to the deluge like a good Sears-Robuck mag, know what I mean? I tell ya, his stuff fares about as well as tempered steel against Aliens blood.”
Ladies and gentlemen I’ve just been informed that after the Iran leaders speech yesterday, we’ve temporarily run out of toilet paper. Until this crisis is solved, I suggest this soft and supple substitute. Buy yours today in the UN gift shop.
“This book makes me look like a genius!! If you think my speech was crazy, read this guy.”
Noam, if your out there…
I just wanted you to know.
I’m wearing a leather thong.
Woops, that’s not Sulfer I smell, it’s Selenium, or maybe Vvanadium, could be Cesium. Gallium. Hmm, Strontium? No it’s Arsen-
[Thud]
-ic.
Here we see Harvard’s newest adjunct professor discussing the reading mateiral for his ECON-101 class.
“I guess you could also use it to level out a table… or a chair.”
“The Prophet Mohamad came to me in a vision and told me what to write. This is the new Holy Book that i now give to the world. Mwaahahahhaa mwaahaahahaaha” (evil laughter continues)
Baseball ben beddy beddy good to me–
If a communist prick takes a dump in the woods is the pope a bear?
“Order today, amigos Yanquis, and, for your enhanced reading pleasure, we will rub your copy of “Hegemonia” with El Diablo BrainFart, a sulphurous scent composed of my speeches, DNA from El Jefe Castro’s cadaver, and Rio Rosa Chomsky’s brainwaves! 100% guaranteed to attract the babes–Cindy Sheehan, Rosie O’Donnell, and other burros!! You’ll score, for sure!!
“Apparatchiks are standing by now, waiting for YOUR call at 1-800-La Caca Grande, or order on the web at www.pendejosR.Us.com! Have your VISA or Citgo credit card handy!!
“And, as I declaimed in my rock-star UN General Assembly peroration–‘mi nutcasa es su nutcasa!!'”
“2 out of 3 dictators agree, this book is super.”
“Hugo mad. Book not have nough pictures. Hugo like pretty pictures. Hugo blame Bush! Bush kill pretty pictures! Bush is devil! Bad Bush! Hugo very upset, need nap now.”
Could we get a marine to punch Hugo in his ape face? I would pay good money for that.
Chavez: “And my greatest regret is that I never met Mr. Chomsky before he died.”
Chomsky (offscreen): “I’m still alive! What are you, an idiot?”
Chavez: “Well, at least I’m not deceased, like you.”
I just found where that foul smell is coming from -this piece of crap!
Noam Chomsky= Smack on my ho
I know Chomsky is dead; because I killed him with his own book – today! Take that, American Imperialists.
I dunno, but this would be great on the range: two things I’d like to riddle with bullets on the same target.
Look what I found in a little shack with a moon on the door! It was missing several pages, but…
Look what I got with my subscrition to the New York Times!
And you,too can become an incoherant, ruthless dictator! With the help of this handy manual, learn how to talk trash about America while being invited to the “World’s Collection of Slimebag Club”, better known as the U.N….
It makes sense to me because I cant read English.
It says right here in this book:
The direct, literal translation of “allah akbar” is “I have a bomb.”
Or is it “My name Akbar and I have bomb.”
“Thank you for giving me Noam Chomsky’s latest comic book, Hegemonia o Supervivencia. In English: Hedgeman vs. Superwoman. Superwoman is hot.”
ME HUGO CHAVEZ ME READ BIG BOOKIE!! ME SMART!!
Yes. I understand there is to be a free tin foil hat with each purchase?
Okay, class, now let’s take a look at page 19, you’ll see the…..hold it a sec….
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….
Okay, now, where were …oh yeah, the third paragraph here says that…just wait a sec…………
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….
(Gott, vas dot a tight vun!)
“I must now confess to you that Noam is my father. He and my mother had a brief and passionate encounter after a “Youth for Che” rally, and who knew alcohol would have the effect on a goat that it does on a human? But anyway, after momma sobered up I was born a few months later and…”
“… well, I love you Daaaaaaady.”
You know, this week at the UN has almost made up for the fact that the episode of Squidbillies on Sunday was so lame.
“Just remember: Don’t bring this book too close to a Bible, a church, or the Pope – doing so may cause printed material written by Noam Chomsky to spontaneously combust, resulting in burns and sulfurous odors.”
P.S. Just had an idea for cleaning up the U.N. – get the Pope to supply some holy water for all those little water glasses the ambassadors keep next to their microphones. If nothing else, we could probably get Kofi Annan. Heck, it’d probably work on Congress too – though it might take some pretty strong stuff to work on Hillary . . .
Pat Robertson wanted to kill me with THIS?
And on my days off, I like to sit back, sip some kool-aid and read some chomsky.
or
I plan on following the plan outlined in this book: nuking the moon.
10.”You’ll LOVE the forward by Jimmie Carter.”
Photoshopped it here.
“And now I say to you that even this book which is-what you call-romance novel, it show that Bush is devil, and that he coming to kill innocent Venezuela babies like he kill Iraq babies, and…espanol expletive…idiot teleprompter! You no turn pages fast enough! I have you shot!
“They were out of THE DA VINCI CODE at the airport so this was my only option.”
“Yo quiero Taco Bell…..um……..I forgot why I’m holding this book up.”
One more thing, I almost forgot:
“MATT DAMON!”
Silicon Valley Jim:
There’s nosy hammock, and cask homonym (which, I think, resonates reasonably well with Chomsky’s field of study), and Mash coy monk, and, of course, my homo snack. You can check all (presumably) of them out at http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram
How about the next best one,
“COMMAS, HONKEY!”
and
“MANY MOCK HOS!”
Uh, sorry about the late post. I’m in Baghdad so I hardly get a chance to get online anymore.
“You must convert to NOAM, worship him or die”