They murder people, the scream havoc, but you merely prick them and they whine and sob greater than any two-year-old.
So, because Islamists were called violent murderers, they whine and cry and then they violently murder people. That was funny in an ironic sort of way the first one hundred times it happened.
Anyway, if you’re not familiar with what Pope Benedict XVI that got all the Islamists’ panties in a bunch, here it is:
I would like to address the Islamic religion by first saying [expletive deleted]. The prophet of Islam, the [expletive deleted] Mohammed, was best known for [expletives and vulgar references to sodomy and farm animals deleted]. Now, I know some Muslims may get violent for me saying this, but what else can you expect from those [expletive deleted] other than [expletives and vulgar and extremely explicit description of bestiality deleted]. And, frankly, I feel most sorry for the goats.
By the way, that’s not my view… it’s something I heard from some guy.
Now, that statement could have been the start to a serious discussion about Islam and its role in the modern world, but, inevitably, crazy Islamist just found this as another excuse to burn things and kill people – and, really what else do those guys have to do other than that and that thing the pope mentioned with handcuffs and the camel?
Now, some expect the pope to apologize, but that would be extremely disingenuous since Benedict obviously thinks Mohammed was full of [expletive deleted], or he wouldn’t be the pope.
So that leaves the Islamists to rioting and killing until they tucker themselves out. And who’s the winner of all this? The Jews; finally they get a week or so to relax while the Islamists temporarily find something else to hate.
And what is left for us to do? One thing:
CAPTION CONTEST!
“PACKERS!!!”
Have at it in the comments.
I demand my binky and my ba-ba! Hajji Tie-tie!
SLAYER!!
Guess what I am holding in my hand! GUESS!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave-Maaaaaaaariiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Islam is the religion of peace! (And fisting your sister, but mostly peace!)
Islam is the religion of peace you devil worshiping zionist controlled puppet!
You take that back! Islam is too the religion of peace! Take that back or I’ll give you a knuckle sandwich!
I’ll get you my pretty (pope) and your little nun to! Ahahahahaha! Ahahahaha!
I will dismember anyone who accuses me of being violent!
What do you mean the hair in this fake beard didn’t come from your head?
Goats! Goats! Goats Rule!
Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar. All for Ahmed stand up and holler!
Skin to win!
I did not have sex with that pig, Miss Oinkinsky.
AP – Sept 17, 2006
Beirut, Lebanon – Concert-goers cheer in the mosh pit during the performance of headlining act the Dixie Chicks at the “Pope on a Rope 2006” benefit concert sponsored by Hezbollah this weekend. Rumors that opening act Sinead O’Connor was killed by concert-goers when they realized she was ordained in a fringe Catholic sect were dismissed by Hezbollah spokesmen as evil Israeli propaganda.
IT’S TIME TO FIGHT, FOR THE RIGHT, TO JEEEEEE-HAAAAAAD!
Cultivating on his face what grows wild on his ass.
Oompa Loompa
Diggity do
Kill the Pope
Instead of a jooooooo!
FREE BIRD!!!!
I want my MTV!
(sotto voce) But not the current version which is crap. I like mine 1985 style – all musis, no commercials.
I am TOO as monkey-faced as any liberal!
Guy in back with green headband, “Holy crap Ahmed! Either break out the soap or drop you arm!!! Jeeeeeeze!”
“Tastes Great!”
“Less Killing!”
ROCK BEATS SCISSORS I TELL YOU!!!
” I tore off my own testicles!”
Let’s talk.
Khaaaaaannnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!
My Area sports team is superior to your area sports team.
Vote Democrat!
Yeeeaaarrrgh!
GOOOOOAAAAAAAAL!
“Hello.
Have you accepted Mohmmed as your personal savior?
If not, I’m going to have to behead you slowly, on camera, with this rusty scimitar while you are still conscious.
I will also rape your daughters and kill all of your sons.
Or maybe the other way around. It depends on my mood.
Do you have any goats?
Have a nice day.
Peace be upon you. :)”
TOGA!
TOGA!
TOGA!
WE! MAKE! HOLES IN TEETH!
You have insulted Islam FrankJ. Now bring back Hellbender or you will suffer death from my religion of peace.
Tastes great!… Less Filling!
Tastes Great!!(louder)..Less Filling!!(louder still…with garlic breath) etc…
looks like a scene from a Planet of the Apes sequel.
I refuse to shave until someone comes up with a seven bladed razor!
“Even when Ackhmed isn’t taking the photo, his fingers still obscure someone’s face”
“It’s the Telephone Pole! RUN! Oh, wait, that one died and it’s now a Telephone German?”
AAAAAAAAAALLAHdammit my ass hurts!!! No, don’t stop!! We must continue to the holy shrine at Broq’baqh Mountain or Allah will smite our pelvises.
“What in Allah’s name are you sticking up my bung hole?!?!”
For the last time, it’s po-TAH-to!
… and then were going to DC and not stopping until we take back the White House. Yaaaarrrrrggggg !!!!!
Writer took my idea for a caption!
islamic extremist screaming “I’m not too violent!!! My religion’s not too violent!! and if you say otherwise I’ll kill you dead!!”
Since my idea got stolen, maybe I should follow the extremist example of rage and trash my cubicle…
There is not an arm growing out of my head!
U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!
I don’t have anger issues!
I command you, my beard: GROW!!!!
Everyone, look! I made a fist!
MOM!!
Akmed’s touching me!!!
J-E-T-S JETS! JETS JETS!
My Hemmies!
What a wedgie!
Achmed: Ewww, you got fist in my rectum!
Abdul: Ewww, you got rectum on my fist!
in a hate-filled voice “JOOOOOOOS!!!!”
interrupted
“What’s that you said, Achmed?”
Achmed speaks quietly
“Oh…”
in a hate-filled voice “POOOOOOOOPE!!!”
WHOOOOO TOOK MY GOAT!?!?!?!
Watch, I can swallow this fist.
More proof that it was wise of the producers not to include a group of Muslems in this season’s Survivor!
Good one Spacemonkey.
From the AP:
A peaceful group of totally indigenous French youths gather to speak peacefully in protest to the hateful papist rhetoric directed toward the religion of peace. Achmed Mullah Hajji Sheik Mohhammed, a totally French youth from suburban Paris made some comments, but the translator had been separated from the reoprter during the course of this totally peaceful gathering.
I got a little black book wit’ me poems in!!!
Veeshir, thanks.
Which one did you mean?
Stop talking about Michelle Malkin!!
I am cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!!
(and indoor plumbing too)
Look! I have an opposable thumb!
“You got chocolate in my peanut butter!”
“You got peanut butter on my chocolate!”
“You’re both infidels! DIE!”
“I’d walk a kilometer to bugger a camel!”
“BraaaaaArmy training sir!”
“Boy can that Itzhak Perlman fiddle! Itzie rocks! Where’s my lighter, who’s got the bong?”
Secretary-General Kofi Annan, shown here on holiday, unwittingly adds to the overwhelming sea of evidence that operation “Nuke The Moon” should have been implemented 25 years ago!
“I am a nice, happy person and I’ll kill you if you say differently!”
“I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner!”
“Where’s the beef?!”
My goat is better than your goat,
My goat I better than yours.
I swallow!!!
Enraged Muslim Eagles fans call for the beheading of Eli Manning.
I GOT BLISTERS ON MY FINGERS!!
“He’s fat! He’s Scouse! He’ll rob your f**kin’ house! Wayne Rooney!”
What makes the Chupacabra so dangerous is that whatever they get in their fist goes straight into their mouth.
Adrian!!!
Mendoza!!!
Damnit!! I’m not going to a lot for this hemeroid cream!!
Two new XXX features for your viewing pleasure–
“Ali Babba’s Got Back” followed by “Achmed Says Ahh”!
Wonderjihadist powers-ACTIVATE!
form of…suicide bomber
Leggo my eggo!
[EXPLETIVE DELETED] JOOO-POOOOP!
72 VIRGIN GOATS!!!!!
Wow, looks like everyone already stated the good ones, but how about…
WE’RE NOT HOMOSEXUALS! WE’RE GOAT-O-SEXUALS!!
I find your lack of faith dis- I find your lack of faith disturbing. D*mn! It worked in Star Wars.
DRAGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Rocky IV)
I SAID PULL MY FINGER! PULL IT! PULL IIIIIIIIIITT!!!!
GUESS WHICH HAND THE SHAMPOO BOMB IS IN!!!
I NEED A DENTIST NOW!!!!
YOU THINK MY BEARD IS BAD, YOU SHOULD SEE MY SISTER’S!!!!
YOU LIKE MY BEARD? I CALL IT THE GOAT-TICKLER!!!!
Nuke the Moon! Nuke the m..what?
Oh sorry.
Nuke the Pope! Nuke the Pope!
ooooooooooklahoma, where the wind comes shootin down the plains…
FOOOD FIIIIIIGHT…!!!
GOTCH YER F@#K$%N’ NO-O-O-O-O-SE…!!!
I LOOOOOOVE YOU MAN!!! Please join our cause for world peace. Allah wants you and me to be friends! Islam is a religion of luv, sweet luv, and I luv you soooo much that I’d be willing to give up your life to prove it.
Flying monkeys of the world unite!
Okay, louder this time kids or he won’t come out on stage: I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family, with a great big…
I am a pathetic Muslim freak … please shot me repeatedly with a large caliber rifle.
The cast of Iranian Idol perform the group ensemble number. This week the theme was “Broadway Musicals” and the talented kids performed a spirited medley of songs from “Rent.”
Nuke us ’till we glow! Nuke us ’till we glow!
Gummie Bears! Gummie Bears!
Sprinkles! Sprinkles!
Gummie Bears! Gummie Bears!
Sprinkles! Sprinkles!
Hah! Nobody expects the Islamic Inquisition!
Henh..heh henh…I am Cornholio! I need T.P. for my bunghole!
A.C.L.U.! A.C.L.U.! That’s why we’re able to kill you!
Mad? Of course we’re mad! We have sand in our butt cracks and we’re not even able to masterbate!
Fiiiiiiiiiiiii-garo! Figaro figaro figaro figaro!
Death to the infidels!! See what they did to my hand with their unholy goat-porn!!!
And after we saw your head off we will do the Macarena as we scatter your body parts across the streets.
ONLY SIX MORE SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL RAMADAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!
Evil joo doctors LIE!! Do these beard-plugs look natural to you? I have received no refund!! JIHAD! JIHAD!
I attended anger management class, and all I got was this fugly beard!!!
NO ONE calls me violent and lives!!
“I’ll kill anyone who gets in the way of me killing anyone.”
(name that movie)
NO! You Go F*** YOUR Camel.
I’m NOT going to pay a lot for this muffler!
BARK, BARK, BARK, BARK…ARRR…ARRRRRRRRR…RUFF, RUFF, RUFF! (camera 1: zoom in on foam dripping from peaceful savage’s boy beard).
Would you buy a used camel from this guy?
VOTE FOR ALI
paid for by the Committee to Elect Ali head Death-Cult Cheerleader
BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL… I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!
Sell! SELL!!! I SAID SELL – dammit, Achmed, it was your job to know ahead of time that goats were a bear market!
Oh no, it’s PETA! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
“Why be a Christian infidel when you can be filled with peace and tranquility like me?”
“Come closer and feel the great love that I have for you, o my brother . . . ”
“Do you think I need medical attention for my tonsils?”
“ZIDANE! YOU CAMEL BRAIN! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!!!!”
BELLLLLLLLLCH!!!
“I feel pretty, oh so pretty…”
PROZAC?!? I DON’T NEED NO STINKING PROZAC!!!
This is your brain. This is your brain on Islam. Any questions?
ADMIT MY RELIGION IS THE ONE OF PEACE OR I WILL KILL YOU!!!
Hello. May I please have a moment of your time to talk to you about the great and peaceful prophet Mohammed and how he can change your life? No? DIE INFIDEL!
Question: do you think a good F/A-18 pilot could put a laser guided munition right in that guys mouth?
You make my brown eye blue.
“IT’S IN THE HOLE!!!!!!”
Guy in front:
Your kung fu is good, but you will never defeat my balls to your foot technique!
Green headband guy:
You tell’em Wimp Lo!
Why is there never a suicide vest available when you need one?
“Mr. Pope, are you listening? I will kill you for saying that thing about having said the other thing will make me want to kill you! False claims of islamic murderous rage will be met with islamic murderous rage! And my cousin Muhammed told me you also said that muslims sodomize goats! Now, I don’t know what sodomize means, but … WHAAAAAaaaa… (trails off into soft, but high pitched squeal)… (after a few moments)… oh, nevermind, that one’s spot on.”
Crowd at annual Muhammed Gras celebration, after succesfully getting a female pedestrian to lift her burka after chanting “SHOW YOUR ***S! SHOW YOUR ***S!”, were horrified at what they saw when she did.
When “crazy eyes” goes to a whole new level.
Is that an IED up your (expletive deleted) or are you just hating me?
“The Fist and the Furry Ass”
My but that unclean, infidel dog looks angry…VERY angry.
TOM JONES RUUULLLLEEESSSSS!!
Vote for Kerry.
“WE WILL NOT GIVE UP!” yelled a red faced Muhammed Dean in front of cheering supporters. “WE’RE GOING TO NEW YORK! AND CALIFORNIA! AND WASHINGTON! AND MINNESOTA! AND OHIO! YEAGH!!!”
(Cutting and pasting shamelessly from early IMAO work…)
I want some Tang!!! The orange stuff you sicko…..
AAAAARRR! No more Habanero Cheese Balls! I’m shitting Allah and Mohammed at the same time!!!