This is the part of the blog where I write about my day for those interested.
To kill Aquaman, I must first find his weakness.
I was bit exhausted today because I had to fend off a savage attack by my dog. She’s a pit bull, so random, deadly attacks are just part of her personality. Still, recuperating gave me a chance to stay in and plot.
On our kitchen table I spread out newspaper articles and research papers on Aquaman. It would probably be easier to organize all the information on a computer, but when plotting to kill I like to have physical things to hold… to crush.
“Why waste your time with this?” My wife was cleaning her stainless steel .45. “Just shoot him in the face and get this over with.”
I laughed. “This isn’t going to be some drive by shooting by a gangbanger with his pants around his ankles; I’m plotting to kill a superhero. This is a game of chess.” I didn’t want this kill to be traced back to me either. No more loose ends to worry about.
SarahK finished assembling the gun and raked the slide triumphantly. “Just make sure he never bothers us again. You still have that monkey to take care of, remember?”
Of course I can remember; I can feel its eyes on me every time I’m near a window. But first things first.
One newspaper article caught my eye. Aquaman saved a swimmer from sharks. He simply swam in, grabbed the youth, and swam out without a care.
And that’s his weakness. He is so used to commanding sea creatures, it’s not even something he has to think about anymore. And after the incident outside of Tucson, he’s been even more reckless.
You think you can swim with the sharks, Aquaman? We’ll see about that.
Dr Evil reborn! You can’t kill a Superhero! Even one that’s VERY light in the extremely gay looking tights! You could, however, post a racial slur on the web somewhere and attribute it to AquaMan…then sick Al Dull-ton and Jesse “Shakedown” Jackson on his case! He will pray for sharks!
“Swims with the sharks.”
I guess that is better than “Sleeps with the fishes.”
In the biblical sense especially.
What about a robot shark? Could he still command it? I say go the Batman route (since you don’t posses powers like Fred Thompson). Mere mortal who outsmarts him. First, you’ll need to separate him from the water by persuading him out of the Ocean preferably outer space. Second, you would have to be in a suit that would prevent him from taking your water. (Like in Dune). Third I think you should somehow involve lasers, or hurling him into the Sun. It’s almost too easy.
your wife sounds hot.
and cleaning guns is fun! yay!
I’ll kill aquafag for you with my bare hands if you’ll buy me Dean Cain when you become a high paid rightwing talk show host ala “Rush Limbaugh”
My last name ain’t Italian for nuthin’, Frank.
We’ve already seen how much damage it did to the mighty athletes at Rutgers – if you call Aquaman a “nappy-haired ho”, he’ll probably die immediately!
I already told you, Frank, the flamethrower is the key. Let him try to locate water when he is literally burning up.
//Let him try to locate water when he is literally burning up.//
This only works for Lara Croft.
we watched The Incredibles last night. The bad guy killed lots of super heroes. You might want to use it in your research.