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“That’s a bad trade.” Doug had just claimed one of Bryce’s knights using a rook, and Bryce moved a bishop to take the rook.
“The horses move weird,” Doug said. “I just want them off the board so I don’t have to keep track of them.” Apparently a policy of Taroth’s Republic was to make more cerebral activities available to the Last Children in an effort to improve them. Thus Bryce has found a complete chess set in the apartment building they were squatting in and decided to sit in their room and play a game with Doug while they waited for opportunity to knock.
“So, did the Prince of Darkness visit you again in your dreams?” Bryce asked.
“You mean Stan? Yeah, I’m starting to doubt how much he really knows.” Doug stared at the board for a moment. “He gave me homework, though.”
“He is evil.”
“I’m supposed to look for weaknesses in the Hallowed and the Trans.”
Bryce thought a moment. “Well, the Hollow ones are basically just powerful slaves to their masters. As for the Trans, they’re just way too powerful to even notice people like us. That’s a weakness I like to exploit.”
“So, if there was something more powerful than the Trans, what do you think are the chances it would care about us?” Doug moved one of his pawns forward a space.
“That’s stupid, and you’re stupid for even thinking it.” Bryce claimed the pawn with a rook. “You keep leaving your pawns unprotected; you’re not going to have any defenses left soon.”
Doug chuckled. He then moved his queen to claim Bryce’s king. “I win!”
“Huh? I was in check? You can’t do that!”
“What do you mean?”
Bryce looked quite cross. “When one of your pieces threatens my king, you have to tell me.”
Doug scoffed. “Then you’d just move it.”
“That’s the rules, idiot! Since you violated them, I win.”
“Whatever. You’re always changing the rules of any game we play so you win.”
Opportunity did not knock this time. Instead, it kicked down the door. Colette entered the apartment in a dress that looked a bit too fancy to wear for door-kicking. The three large men with guns in hand accompanying her looked quite ready to kick things, though.
Bryce turned in his seat to face Colette. “You say you want to stay under Taroth’s radar, but guess who is going to end up paying for that door.”
Colette looked at Bryce like she was gazing upon a large cockroach. “We decided we want the bunny cube.”
“Well, that’s a problem,” Bryce said. “After you were so rude to us, we found a much more polite buyer for that particular item.”
Colette bent over Bryce, looking to be about a second from ripping him apart. “Who?”
Bryce was a bit too distracted from Colette bending over him to answer.
“Stop staring down my dress!”
“What? I’m not staring very far down it; just to the boobs.”
She grabbed him by the throat. “I’d rip your head off if I didn’t think your friend here is too dumb to help me. Now, you’re going to answer me, or I will dismember your friends in front of you.” She looked around. “Where are the two girls?”
“Out doing girl stuff,” Bryce coughed.
“When Charlene gets mad, she likes to have a pedicure,” Doug said. “You made her mad last night, so I’m guessing that what’s she’s doing.”
Colette pointed at Doug. “Shut up!” She looked at Bryce. “Who has the cube?”
“I’d be violating our buyer confidentiality policy to tell you.”
Colette let him go and backed away a step. “Kill the stupid one,” she ordered her men.
“You’re stupid!” Doug yelled.
Her thugs started to advance on Doug. “Wait!” Bryce called out. “I have something of interest to you. You don’t have all the equipment from the truck we stole; we took some out for our own use when we first got here.”
“I don’t care about anything other than that stupid cube right now.”
“This is good, though,” Bryce continued. “One thing we have is a very nice, high powered rifle. It has a scope and everything. I think it would be useful to you. Three thousand.”
“You’re not getting any money, Child,” Colette said. “About the only thing you’re going to be able to bargain for soon is how painfully we kill you.”
Bryce’s phone beeped. He looked down at it on his belt. “Text message from Lulu. Says she found some good muffins downtown.”
“Can you tell her to get me one?” Doug asked.
“Now I’m ripping your arm off,” Colette said and advanced on Bryce.
Bryce quickly pulled a small electronic device from his shirt pocket. “I think you’ll be interested in this, though… more so than even the cube.”
“I told you–”
Bryce put on his used car salesman smile. “It’s a remote detonator; very high-tech. Only ten thousand, and it’s yours.”
“I don’t care–”
“It’s really a bargain.”
“I don’t want it!”
“Fine. Then you’re walking home.” Bryce hit a button on it, and there was a loud explosion outside causing the thugs to turn around. Then there was the sound of breaking glass as bullets flew in through the window in rapid succession killing the three thugs. Bryce pulled out a gun and fired repeatedly into Colette. The bullet wounds seemed to spark as the bullets ripped through her but only seemed to stun her slightly as she reached for Bryce.
Now it what time for Doug to do what he had been preparing for. He quickly quickly drew his katana as he leapt to his feet and proceeded to cut off Colette’s hand in one quick motion. She fell to the ground, finally looking like she was in pain. Where the arm was cut, Doug couldn’t see a wound. He couldn’t see anything. Actually, it gave him an odd feeling to even try and perceive, so he tried not to look and instead focus on Colette’s face against which he placed his blade.
“Do you know what we’re going to do to you?” Colette spat at them. “You little–”
Bryce shot her again. “Yes yes. Generic threats. We’ve heard them before.” Bryce’s expression was very dark; actually quite scary for someone who usually was never physically intimidation. “You were right last night when you labeled us desperate losers, which I think would mean a bit more caution when dealing with us. I don’t know where you get off thinking you are anywhere near the most threatening person we’ve ever had the displeasure of dealing with. Now, I understand that cutting you to pieces won’t kill you, but I’m guessing you won’t like it… and who knows how long you’ll be in that condition before Dammon decides to put you back together. I say it’s worth twenty five thousand to you to avoid that.” He took out a small handheld computer and tossed it to her. “Our account information is there. It’s an insignificant sum to you and a big sum to us — desperate losers that we are — so everyone wins.”
“You can’t extort Dammon. You will–”
“We’re extorting you. Keep that straight. I’ll understand that Dammon won’t like damage to his property, but he should have been a bit more careful with his things, then.” He turned to Doug. “I’m done talking to her; you can go ahead and cut off her ears.”
“You don’t need her to smell anything either, right?”
“Fine.” Colette took the computer with her remaining hand and entered in the information. “You better spend it very quickly if you wish to enjoy it.”
Bryce picked up the computer and checked the account. “It was a pleasure finally doing business with you Colette.”
“So where is the cube?”
“Elza’s girls have it,” Bryce said. “If you want us to retrieve it, we’ll have to demand a payment for that job up front given your previous history.”
Colette stood up, Doug still keeping his sword on her. “Can I go now?”
“Yes. We have no more use for you.”
Lulu came in through the broken door, stepping over the dead bodies. She had painted on a black nose and whiskers to go with her two black eyes. “Someone parked a flaming wreck out front.” She turned to see Colette. “Oh, hey, you. Hope you keep Hellbender in mind for your future mercenary needs.” Lulu pulled out a gun, shot Colette in the face, and kicked her hard, sending Colette out what remained of the shattered window.
“That was a little excessive,” Doug commented.
Lulu shrugged. “Well, we were done with her, right?”
Doug glanced out the window. “So she’ll survive that?”
“In a way,” Bryce said, “and she will be really pissed.” He picked up the walkie-talkie that was hidden under a pillow on the bed and said into, “Nice shooting, Charlene.”
“Any idea why Lara gave us the heads up on this?” she asked in response.
“Women are crazy; I don’t try to figure them out.”
Lulu leaned out the window and looked down to the street. “Oh, she’s getting up.” She then screamed at the top of her lungs, “DON’T MESS WITH HELLBENDER, BITCH!” She turned to Bryce. “So we better be a few hundred miles away from here by the end of the day, or we’re like super extra dead, right?”
“Yeah, we’re pretty much on the run again — but this time with money.”
“And you don’t think Dammon is going to hunt us down?” Charlene asked over the radio.
“We’re too insignificant to care about and taken too little money to worry over.” Bryce smiled. “That’s why we’re awesome.”
“Insignificant but awesome!” Lulu pumped her fist in the air. “Go team Hellbender!”
Doug sheathed his sword and put the sheath in his belt. He wasn’t happy about killing people, but he had to admit it was pretty awesome when he cut off Colette’s hand (which seemed to have disappeared as he couldn’t seen any evidence of it in the room). Also, now they had enough money that he not only could get nachos whenever he wanted, he could get guacamole on them even if that cost extra. It was a good feeling. Still, something nagged at him. “Anyone wonder what exactly everyone wants that cube for?”
“No.”