The Solution to Our Crisis

20 Comments

  1. Hmm Frank is on to something, we could drill into Knut’s noggin, and we wouldn’t have to pay for it, because Germany owes us big because of that Hitler thing that they did a while back.

  2. I am surprised that Congress hasn’t voted to drill in Alaska. Just like the border fence along Mexico. They vote to do it but don’t fund it. The MSM will sing praises to Congress. Congress will then campaign that they did all that they could then blame “Big Oil”
    On a side note: If Big Oil and Big Fire got together they could overtake Congress. And we could have a parade. People like a good parade.

  3. Once again, I find myself asking, “What would Ron Paul do? What would Ron Paul do to solve the oil crisis?”
    After much soul-searching I realized exactly what Ron Paul would do, and so I’m sitting here wearing my tin foil hat, playing a kazoo-like instrument I made out of wax paper and a comb, and yes…I’m wearing an adult diaper. So far, not much change in oil prices, but I’m definitely not ready to give up on the Ron Paul plan yet.

  4. It saddens me that you have singled out baby polar bears for this honor. I think you should extend the drilling to include Baby Seals and Baby Walrus’s. I think that it is also possible the Baby Moose might qualify for the program. we need to leave no mammel unturned in our quest for energy relief.

  5. Come on down to Crazy Mike’s House O’ Drills for all your cute-animal-oil-drilling needs. We’ve got power drills. We’ve got drill presses. We’ve got enough drills to choke a camel! And then get that sweet crude from it’s lifeless skull!
    And, if you come down now during our Independence Day sale, we’ll throw in at no extra charge, a pair of fluffy bunnies guaranteed to power your Prius all day long.
    *Disclaimer – not responsible for any damage incurred during drilling for oil in any hippies as they are greasy, not oily and they are not really mammals anyways but more a kind of crustacean.

  6. Alright, Frank. Admit that you were inspired by Glenn Beck on this one. 😛
    #5 – Posted by: Gabe on June 30, 2008 11:12 AM

    Yeah, I saw that episode. I think it was his interview with Ben Stien (amazingly funny, yet brillaint man, like most real conservatives).
    I think Beck’s line was more along the lines of drilling through Santa’s reindeer’s heads, but the concept is the same. 🙂

  7. *Disclaimer – not responsible for any damage incurred during drilling for oil in any hippies as they are greasy, not oily…

    You may be able to make a form of bio-desiel from them, though. Not unlike those guys that recycle used fry grease.

  8. Hey A bouts,
    the difference is that the border fence is the governments responsibility to build,
    the arctic drilling is done by the big, greedy, racist, right-wing, fascist, bush-loving, christian, talk-radio listening, OIL COMPANIES!!!
    hmm… a company getting work done and the government not….. where have we seen this before…..
    I say see all quit bitching about each over and form 1 party…..
    .
    .
    .
    Republican-Liber…………..tarian!!
    What did you think I was gonna say Liberal???

  9. Grease, not oil.
    Pioneers valued bear grease as a lubricant, rust preventative, lamp oil substitute and hair care product.
    Perhaps we could train the bears to run in giant hamster wheels as another alternative energy source.
    Oops! Don’t spread that idea around!
    Anything to delay energy independence for another 10 years will look good to the green reds.

  10. 18 – Yes, you did. And my goodness! How I wish you hadn’t!
    You reminded me of 5 or 6 jokes from my Forbidden List with that one simple comment!
    Now I’ll have to beat them all back down into my subconscious before I give in to the temptation to tell them to another living soul!
    No!
    D*mn you all!
    Get back, I say!
    Do I have to get ‘the belt’?
    You don’t want me to get ‘the belt’! …

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