I’ve been contacted by the WEtards, and they’ve asked for an address to ship the shirt to.
No mention of WEleadership, so I assume that’s now off the table. I’ll accept this as my failure for not making sure I had 50 names submitted in time.
Anyway, here’s the long-promised Stage 2, which I call
OPERATION HELPFUL IDIOT
The Premise: WE doesn’t just want numbers, they want participants. So I’m encouraging the people who signed up as WEtards (“I’s of the WEsistance”) to go to the WE contact page and leave a “helpful” suggestion for solving the climate crisis.
Suggested format:
1) Brief, enthusiastic gushing about the greatness of WE
2) Your brilliant idea for putting a stop to global warming, preferrably to be forced on America by the US government. This idea should be dumb and impractical, but not theoretically impossible (a suggestion like “Superman should eat the sun like an apple until its smaller size offsets global warming” is obviously fake. The goal here is more “fake but accurate”). Try to keep it under 200 words so that people will be more likely to pass it around to their friends in an e-mail.
3) Sign off with some cliche lefty slogan and your hippie alias.
Oh, and don’t be afraid to leave in a few typos and misspellings, just for flavor.
Sample letter:
Dear WE,
I’m so proud to be part of an organization that actually CARES about the EARTH and the FUTURE of our CHILDRN!
I think you’re doing a great job, but WE (I LOVE THAT NAME!) can do more. I’ve heard that cow burping cause’s a lot of greenhouse gas. I think farmers should be forced to put muzzles on all their cows. Like surgical masks, except they should be treated with a chemical that absorbs all that CO2. If you’re putting together a list for Congress, please include mine. Thx.
VOTE NADER ’08!
Summer Sunshine Rainbow Rabinowitz
Now, you don’t HAVE to be a member of WE to participate in Operation Helpful Idiot, but if you ARE signed up, it puts pressure on them to take you seriously, and there’s nothing more pathetically funny than a conflicted liberal.
After you leave your suggestion with WE, send a copy of it to me at wesistance@gmail.com. If I find your “helpful suggestion” to be brief, subtle, and at least moderately amusing, I’ll post it at IMAO so that others may enjoy it also.
Can you make a WEsistance tag and go apply it to all the previous posts? I’d like to follow your leftard-baiting as closely as possible…
I don’t have a hippie alias. Is there a website out there with a “hippie alias” generator?
Here’s your name generator. One of many, of course.
http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/namegen/13/
Darn me and my fake email account. I can’t remember what fake information I put in to log back in.
Two suggestions, if I may: First, how about calling “I’s of the Wesistance” “Wejects” rather than “Wetards”? “Wetard” sounds more appropriate for actual WE members, while “Weject” speaks more to the purpose of the thing.
Second, to all I’s of the Wesistance, WE, if you recall, also put out a call for videos. My wife and I will be making one, and posting a copy on Youtube, along with sending a link to Harvey here at WEsistance HQ. I think we need to inundate them with videos, in the same vein as the helpful idiot emails.
I think we should encourage punching hippies in lieu of burning them. This will reduce the pollutants being released into the atmosphere and save on fossil fuels (you usually need some gasoline to act as a catalyst).
Elmer Fudd would be so pwoud.
quote of #3:
Here’s your name generator. One of many, of course.
http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/namegen/13/
typing in Fred Thompson crashes the server along with the waybackmachine. I also heard 50 hippies wail in pain off in the distance before I hit enter.
The problem with offering such suggestions is that they may actually appear as bills in Congress a few months from now.
Reply to # 8.
I think many of them have already appeared in front of congress. Why else would we be dumping nuclear waist, when it would be far more safer, and efficient to recycle it in an open mouth reactor? For that matter why is it illegal to kill certain breeds of monkey?
“Sequoia Fernbottom”, as my own hippie alias. Ties in nicely with my suggestion of farting on house plants and crapping in the oceans – you know, delivery of the goods right onto the CO2 cleansing mechanism.
Blogthings also has a Hippie Name Generator, one for Dudes and one for Chicks.
If you don’t like the first one, just back up and hit Submit again. Repeat as necessary.
Here’s mine:
Dear WE,
If we all work together, I firmly believe that WE can save Mother Gaia. Here’s my plan:
Air conditioning cools our homes, our schools, and our (hopefully hybrid) cars. Why don’t WE build a massive complex of air conditioners for the EARTH? WE already possess the required technology and the manpower if every American donates one day of their time a week building the machines! Better yet, we could get the profit-hungry oil corporations to finance it all! If WE work together, WE can save our planet!!1!
viva Jim Hansen!
Saffron Mossberg