The Trump presidency is actually pretty entertaining if you’re like me and stopped taking the presidency seriously about a decade ago.

So no one can collect my data, I only lie on Facebook. Those aren’t even my kids that I’m posting pictures of.

I’m thinking of buying snops.com to catch people mistyping in Snopes and then confirm everything as true.

YouTube can’t remove gun videos; guns are even more a foundation of video than porn. The first video Edison made had guns in it. I don’t think it was until his fourth he did porn.

Maybe they can split it into two Twitters: One for dumb jokes and cute pictures of puppies and one for angry yelling at each other.

I am angry about the politics! But while others are dumb to be angry, I am smart to be angry!

Is it just me, or is Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life kind of a ripoff of my book, Punch Your Inner Hippie?

BTW, I recently subscribed to Scribd and found out it has basically all my books on it — my political satire and my first novel. Did not know that.

The problem with true conservatives is they don’t pay much attention to politics since they have more important things to put their time and energy into.

Nothing makes me feel like a dad like driving the kids to baseball practice while they complain about the Johnny Cash I’m playing.

Marches — no matter how big — are not a substitute for ideas. The one thing I’ve yet to hear in all the yelling is one useful, workable idea that would stop school shootings.

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. Everyone is acting like they’re one magic law away from keeping bad people from obtaining one of the hundreds of millions of guns in this country. It’s like no one is taking this seriously.

What are the actual ideas proposed?
Assault weapon ban – shooter still has 10s of millions of legal semiauto rifles to choose from and hundreds of millions others.
High capacity magazine ban – absolute best case scenario (which you won’t get because there are millions of legal magazines out there) is a shooter using a bunch of 10rd mags. Yay!
More background checks – There more than 300 million guns in private hands. This does nothing to stop someone form getting one of those.
As dumb as arming teachers might seem, it’s the only thing suggested that’s even pretending to tackle the problem of mass shooters at a school.

Discussion of gun control should center around that there are over 300 million guns in this country. Saying people in the US shouldn’t have easy access to guns is like saying the colonists shouldn’t have taken this land from the natives; even if you have a point, it’s a bit late.
Also, there should be more acknowledgment of how much gun rights people have won public opinion over the last few decades. Not that long ago, banning guns was a viable position. Now you’re as likely to find a politician proposing that as one proposing to bring back segregation.
In short, the main thing holding back the gun control side is lack of realism and acknowledgment of reality. Not noise and lack of attention.

I don’t cherish being the lone voice of reason in this country, but I do it out of dedication to my fellow man.

There just doesn’t seem to be enough reflection on how much public opinion has moved to pro-gun rights side and why. If you can’t answer that, it’s no wonder all the gun control noise goes nowhere.

I’m not trying to debate guns. I’m trying to debate the debate on guns.

Black Panther sounds interesting, but since he’s a pretty unknown superhero I doubt it will do much at the box office compared to most Marvel movies. When’s it come out?

Isn’t it amazing I can instantly broadcast my thoughts to the world… even when I don’t have anything in particular to say?
This is an amazing power. I should probably use it to say nice things that make people happy. Um… to whoever is reading this, you’re awesome!
There. I made the world a better place. I accomplished something today.

I finished The Tick series, and now I want to rewatch the pilot. I remember being really put off from how dark it was, while the rest of the series is what you’d expect from an adult, serialized version of the Saturday morning cartoon.

I don’t think the “There’s no way armed citizens could oppose the government. If it decides to go nazi, there’s nothing you could do, so you might as well give it all your guns.” is as persuasive an argument as some people seem to imagine it to be.
Realistically, though, it’s hard to imagine a scenario in the near future where armed citizens and the military end up opposing each other since both those groups lean right. If anything, the left needs more guns to balance the power in this country.

“Crossbow murders are getting out of hand! We have to put a stop to them!”
“Don’t worry. I have an idea that will make crossbow murders a thing of the past.”
invents the gun

If you want to put a positive spin on things, we all have access to weapons that make killing each other super easy — way easier than swords or bows — and yet we kill each other at the lowest rate in human history.

We get a stock surge every time a porn star goes on 60 Minutes and talks about sleeping with the president.

I wonder what it was like for astronomers when the first pictures came in from the dark side of the moon and they found out that the previously unknown part of our natural satellite was hella boring. We had the way better side.
I mean, you look at the two sides of the moon, it’s pretty obvious which one is the back. It’s literally like it was a 3D object in a video game where the player is only supposed to see one side so they didn’t bother detailing the rear.
So you don’t have to google, here you go. Tell I’m wrong. The back of the moon was hardly worth the effort to send a probe.

Could you imagine if it were reversed? Then when we first saw the dark side of the moon we’d be like, “Holy crap! What’s all that?!!” Instead, I’m assuming it was more like, “Oh. That’s what it looks like. It’s more moon, all right.”

I’m not usually a conspiracy theorist, but is Michael Ian Black an NRA plant?
“This is the NRA. We’ll give you these stacks of bills if you make gun control arguments so bad they make people pro-gun.”
“How about this: Guns make people slaves and only the government should have guns and we’re basically their slaves already.”
“That’s great. I love that.”

“Do you want to hear a teenager’s opinion on…”
“No.”

Fun fact: I wrote an editorial in a local newspaper when I was a teenager. It was on how we should test political and economic theories on monkeys before using them on humans.

A good reminder that the people at the top whose job it is to tell us what a four page document means are arrogant, dumb, and out of touch.
Probably one of the Republicans best strategies now would be to push to get every Democrat on record about repealing the 2nd Amendment. Now there’s a wedge between the mainstream and growing portion of the base (though I assume still a minority).

quietly
Repealing the 2nd Amendment doesn’t get rid of the right to bear arms.

What if the guns ban people?!
Ooh. My next science fiction novel…

The Supreme Court would work better if it were more like jury duty — for each case grab some random citizens. All you’re doing is checking whether a several page document gives the government permission to do whatever it’s proposing to do. Stop acting like it’s complicated.
Acting like we need the most brilliant minds to do this simple task just obfuscates things when the rules we go by at the very top must be simple if we want faith in the rule of law. And the Constitution ain’t complicated. We just pretend it is.

I’ve been sitting on frankjfleming.com for a while. I mean to get an author site there eventually, but for now it points to my email list sign up.
And since everyone always misspells my name, I also got frankjflemming.com.

Remember: Part of the Constitution is a magic spell made to keep a demon sealed in a prison beneath Yellowstone. If the wrong part of the Constitution is repealed, the seal will be broken and country will be destroyed by lava. Constitutional scholars will back me up on this.

We need a Disney peasant to overthrow the Disney princess and her tyrannical monarchy.

Guess I gotta buy the new Star Wars. I didn’t care for The Last Jedi, but I bought The Phantom Menace twice (VHS and DVD) so I have to be fair.

I think I’m going to stop giving out my political opinions unless I’m paid for them. I don’t want to devalue them. In this time of political strife, correct opinions should be cherished.
For reasons too obvious to details, I will only accept payment in bitcoins for my political opinions.

Anyone who disagrees with me should not be hired to write anywhere. Or hired for anything else. They are not fit to live among us. They should live in a box on the street and be pelted with small rocks.

My reaction to Justice Paul Stevens editorial on how we should split up the 2nd Amendment into two 1st Amendments is that it’s probably a good thing he retired.

I thought of a joke.
Q. What religion was the ghost?
A. Boo-dhist.
That was the joke. Hope it didn’t offend anyone. Especially Buddhists. Or anyone plagued by ghost hauntings.