According to exit polls, Texans whose position on whether one should mess with Texas was “Don’t” broke heavily for Ted Cruz.

Wait; Republicans got 42% of the Senate popular vote but only won about a third of the Senate election this years? That sounds like gerrymandering. #Illegitimate

Kinda funny the Democrats putting all their hope behind Beto, a white male, when they’ve successfully chased about all of them out of the party.

My advice for the left in trying to beat white nationalists and nazis: Try to be less hateful than them. Less.

No race is bad. No gender is bad. And neither is any combination of those two.

It is looking like the left exposing the absolute worst of their humanity during the Kavanaugh hearings may have been a political miscalculation.

Haven’t the left by now figured out that the only way to defeat Trump is to trick him into saying his name backwards?

Blue wave? More like a “Boo Wave” because I didn’t care for it.
#PoliticalHumor

I don’t think Jim Acosta should have punched that woman, but I’ll listen to both sides.

I don’t understand how anyone can take Jim Acosta seriously. Of course, can say the same about Trump. Politics is now like Who Framed Roger Rabbit where real life is full of cartoon characters.

Undertale won me over right at the beginning with “Press A to read signs.” That’s some grade A meta humor.

“Why do these people keep voting for Republicans instead of supporting left-wingers who are very open about how much they hate them and want to do them harm?”

A lot of the nosiest people on the left use the “I’m fighting for disenfranchised minorities!” to try and cover up the fact that they’re complete and utter sociopaths.
And people fall for it.

Someone’s politics has very little to do with their morality. You can teach a parrot to espouse any political view you want based on how you give it crackers.

Sent out the Superego sequel to beta readers and just started writing the next sequel this morning. Not going to wait years this time.

I should write a book to help antifa called “Punch Your Inner Nazi.”

A lot of these election problems will be solved when one day we figure out how to train computers to count.

If they nominate Beto for president in 2020, what are his qualifications? The only thing I know about him other than he ran for Senate is that he fled the scene of a drunken crash.

I wonder what it would be like to have real problems where we couldn’t spend days analyzing video of a reporter making contact with an intern? Presumably it would be worse.

Maybe the Republicans should just stop whining and get better at finding boxes of ballots.

I’m watching the kids by myself this weekend, and I realized I have no idea what kids eat. Just give them anything but give them ketchup with it?
And what do they drink? You’re not supposed to give kids wine, right? Or is there a “kids wine” you can buy? Maybe has ketchup in it?
And what do kids have in their coffee? More ketchup again?

Oh no. I’m out of ketchup.

I was in college in 2000 and taking a statistics course. I remember the statistics professor explaining why the 500 vote margin was unlikely to be overturned in a recount.
I do have more memories of 2000 than any other election. I was at some Rick Santorum victory party (or whatever you call it since you don’t know if it’s going to be a victory party yet) to watch the results came in, and then Florida got called for Gore.
People kept going “Well, if Bush still wins this state and that state” but you knew it was pretty much over. But then someone got some phone call from someone in Florida that they were un-calling Florida and things got crazy!
I forget what happened in the end. The important thing was everyone had fun.

Before we pile on someone for being awful, it’s good to remember we’re all awful and still deserving of love.

Frankly, when the vote is really close, you’re never going to have an accurate truly count and the winner will be kind of arbitrary. Might as well give it to whoever can steal the election better.

If you think guns make us less safe, campaign to disarm the government. I’m not necessarily for that, but I’ll listen to your argument.

Imagine a world without guns.
Oh wait. You don’t have to. It’s in the history books.

I told my 3yo to keep her hands off something, and she started saying “No touching! No touching!” and laughing.
When did… when did she see Arrested Development?

Reagan won 49 states in his re-election in 1984. It’s hard to imagine any person being able to do that again… well, maybe Trump if Hillary runs again.

“‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
People get it in their heads that there is some sort of virtue in making “bad people” miserable, but all that does is drag you down.

These days, the easiest way to get people to engage in Nazi-like behavior — and pat themselves on the back for doing it — is to convince them who they’re doing it against are Nazis.

As a part time writer, George R.R. Martin is just hard to fathom. What is he doing all day? If writing novels were my full time job, I’d put out an entire book series a year.
When I started writing the sequel to Superego a year ago (a couple years after Superego was released), I joked about my goal was to get it out before Winds of Winter. Well, it’s to beta readers now. I think I’ll hit that easy.
And that’s with just what little time I can eke out in the morning — divided with other writing projects that pop up. How can you be a full time writer and take like a decade with a novel? I don’t get it.
Eh. Maybe he just doesn’t like writing and kind of fell into it. That happens.

One thing I very much admire about the Good Place’s second and third season is they don’t set up a premise to sustain them for the season but are constantly blowing up what the show is about.

The best way to avoid a perjury trap is to talk backwards. The FBI can only prosecute you for lies said forwards.

In the 5th season now, and I’m really admiring Justified. Not only is the writing sharp, but they pack the 13 episodes seasons full of plot. Nothing feels like filler episodes.

The NRA aren’t blocking any laws that will stop shootings but they’re fun to yell at.

Know what would be neat? Some big company like Amazon instead of building new headquarters hired engineers to work remotely—use that whole internet thing to have people work anywhere in the country.
Shouldn’t that also appeal to people who pretend to care about the environment—getting rid of all those commutes?

I saw from a doctor on Twitter that bullets can kill people—especially if fired from a gun. Did anyone know this?!

“Let’s have a competition to host Amazon’s second headquarters to solve the main problem facing our company: Not enough people hate us.”

I always considered these tech jobs in high-cost of living areas a single man’s game; when you have a family you want some space while also having some money left over.

Whoever writes the jokes for Laffy Taffy should be fired. They’re TERRIBLE!

Corporate cronyism is something both the left and right are against, yet no one can ever make any real headway on it.

My 3yo saw a Star Wars novella and exclaimed, “It’s an ‘I am your father’ book!”

Like every good dad, I’ve taught my kids the proper response to “I am your father” at an early age.