Disney Strikes Back! Tells Bernie Sanders No, HE Should Make 22 Blockbuster Movies in a Previously Unprofitable Genre

“When I’m President, I’m going to snap my fingers and make half of the rich people’s money disappear”

HOLLYWOOD (AP) – In response to Democrat presidential candidate Bernie Sanders’ tweeted suggestion that Disney should “[use] its profits from Avengers to pay all of its workers a middle class wage,” Disney CEO Bob Iger responded that the real solution was for more socialists like Bernie Sanders to make 22 profitable, high-budget movies in a genre that had heretofore only experienced mild and sporadic success.

“Mr. Sanders is correct,” observed Iger. “There is a problem in America today, and it’s that too much wealth is concentrated in the wrong hands. Politicians in Washington take all your money and spend it on boring, stupid stuff like goat farm subsidies and art exhibits made out of bodily fluids. When Disney takes your money, you get 22 amazing Marvel movies. Socialism can’t even give you a Stan Lee cameo.”

“I think the solution to America’s problem is clear,” Iger said. “Bernie Sanders should take all the money he’s ever made and pour it into a dicey movie genre that nobody watches anymore, like beach comedies, westerns, mismatched buddy cops, outlaw bikers, blaxploitation, or something starring a sentient Volkswagen. After 22 consecutive successes, maybe he’ll be able to pay his interns more than $12 an hour.”

At press time, Mr. Sanders had not responded to Iger’s suggestion. Also silent was Warner Brothers, makers of the DC comics movies. Probably out of fear that doing so might Green Lantern their Twitter account.


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4 Comments

  1. How do we know that Bernie isn’t a sentient Volkswagen?

    .

    “maybe he’ll be able to pay his interns more than $12 an hour.”

    Ouch. That’s hitting him below the Beltway!

  2. Pingback: IMAO: Disney Strikes Back! Tells Bernie Sanders No, HE Should Make 22 Blockbuster Movies in a Previously Unprofitable Genre

  3. Pingback: If Socialism Is So Great…. – Freedom Is Just Another Word…

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