Unbelievable! The NRA wants to make it harder for this man to make a living robbing people!
Long-time NRA opponent Bill Daggett said he was “appalled” by the callous nature of the gun group’s stance.
“Everybody thinks the NRA is all about ‘guns for everybody,'” said Daggett. “People think the NRA wants guns in every house, in every pocket, in every cradle, and strapped on the side of every granny’s walker. But it’s just not true. I have seen proof with my own eyes that the NRA only wants guns in the hands of people who obey the law. Which doesn’t even make any sense. If you never do anything wrong, no one is ever going to shoot at you, so you don’t need a gun.”
“But the flip side of this – and this is the NRA’s dirty little secret that they don’t want anyone to know about – is that the NRA doesn’t want criminals to have ANY GUNS AT ALL!” Daggett exclaimed. “That’s right, the people who are – statistically speaking – most likely to be shot at, the NRA wants them unarmed and helpless. That doesn’t even make any sense. Say a convicted felon wants to go shoot up a school. If the NRA had their way, all the teachers would be armed and the shooter wouldn’t even get to shoot anyone because he wouldn’t be allowed to buy a gun. How’s he supposed to defend himself against all the teachers that would shoot back? How is that fair? How is that even American?”
“And what if he wants to rob a store?” continued Dagget. “You wouldn’t believe how many robbers get shot. It’s a very dangerous line of work. But the NRA doesn’t want the robber to have a gun, just because he has prior felony convictions. What’s he supposed to do? Go in and rob the place with a knife? What about HIS 2nd Amendment rights? Why should he be forced to bring a knife to a gunfight? This is a grotesque insult to the Convicted-American community! Whatever happened to the NRA’s ‘only outlaws will have guns’ slogan? What a lie! Shame on the NRA for hiding their disgraceful secret agenda from the public for so long.”
When asked about the “secret document,” NRA spokesman William Munny at first claimed to be unaware of its existence. However, when confronted with a copy, he admitted it was genuine.
“Yeah, this a printout of the front page of our website, so it’s only ‘secret’ to people who think the NRA site randomly makes your web browser fire live ammunition. Yes, we want law-abiding citizens armed. Preferably to the teeth. Criminals? If they’ve shown they can’t be trusted to handle a gun in a civilized way, we shouldn’t let them do it again.”
“They have a complaint?” concluded Munny. “Guess they should’ve thought about that BEFORE they went all Jesse James.”
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If criminals get shot, it’s the NRA’s fault.
They are probably all minorities as well so its RACIST!
how do they expect a small lesbian of color to overpower a 6’10” heterosexual man to mug him without a gun???
NRA spokesman Munny, “Go ahead, make our day.”
Canceled Second-class pains-in-the-neck
No Second, no class, no clue:
If you can’t pass a background check
In my country, checks cancel you.
This is a delightfully hysterical article and comments! Thank you…jbs
I’m glad this article was brought up, because I’m a convicted felon, who completely changed his life around and works as as a security guard in a Navy Shipyard but is not allowed to carry a gun. I’m a in the line of duty to prevent terrorist from our country, a very dangerous risky job. F*** you NRA, because I’ve turned my life completely around and you guys won’t stand up for completely rehabilitated people like me work me helping to prevent future terror among the military!
Go to court and petition to get your record expunged.
If your felony was nonviolent you have a chance to have it vacated and have your rights returned. It’s good to turn it around but you’re still responsible for your actions.
I was 18 years and 2 months when I was arrested for having prescription strength Tylenol in my vehicle. Felony possession. I’ve never committed an unprovoked act of violence against anyone in my life. I was young and dumb and looking back at that time in my life I probably shouldn’t have been allowed to buy a gun even though the greatest risk would’ve been to myself. Now I am 31 years old, 3 girls under the age of 7 and one on the way. I provide for my family and my lady stays home to take care of the kids. If I have shown a certain level of responsibility and aptitude in every other facet of my life why then, should I still be barred from carrying a firearm? Why should my entire family pay the price for a single mistake I made more than a decade ago? I realize there is a degree of sarcasm and satire in this article but I believe the idea of “criminals” owning firearms is a little more nuanced than just armed robbers and cop killers
True, but understand that federal, state and local officials make and pass the laws restricting the purchase of a firearm based on criminal history and what is criminal. Many drug offenses are victimless crimes. Blame the lawmakers for this. It’s not up to the NRA to define such things though they can and do express opinions on this as noted in this article.
Look into having your record sealed or expunged. Start here for ideas
https://eligibility.com/restore-gun-rights
The purpose of the NRA, so they say, is to lobby against gun control. So why aren’t they lobbying for gun rights for those convicted of non-violent crimes likes possession of a prescription strength Tylenol? Because they don’t give a f*ck, that’s why. They aim to get republicans re-elected. That’s it. The gun rights topics is just what stirs up the republican base the most so they run with it.
I guess the NRA can’t do everything. But if they give me Republicans to work with, I think I can lobby them myself to restore gun rights to non-violent felons.
Take the comment you left here and send it to your Rep.
There is a process for everything. You just have to go through the process to restore your rights. Granted it’s not easy, but you can do it. It does take time and you may require an attorney, but it can happen. Good Luck!
@Spencer, I have a very close friend who had exactly the same problem (drug conviction when young) and recently acquired a concealed carry permit! So, as you see, it can be done. It’s up to you to make the effort.
Too funny, luv it. Thanks for the early a.m. laffs.
The NRA is violating the CSHA, (Criminal Safety & Health Acts) that the Democrats have fought so hard to get passed. Criminals need protection too.
The NRA is violating the CSHA, (Criminal Safety & Health Act) that the Democrats have fought so hard to get passed. Criminals need protection too.